Yaya Touré, the man who Inter, ManCity and Arsenal all seem to want (or so the rumours say), played the whole match in Cote D’Ivoire’s somewhat meaningless 3-0 victory against Guinea, seeing that they are already qualified for the World Cup.

Henry and Abidal were also on their starting XI as France scraped a 0-1 victory over Ireland, to start with the right foot their playoffs to make it into the World Cup. (ETA: I’ve just read Eric Abidal has left the French team claiming injury and won’t play on Wednesday… fingers crossed that it’s not serious!)

Alves came in the 63rd minute in Brazil’s friendly 1-0 victory against England; kudos to Dunga, who tried to play Dani and Maicon at the same time, and to our Man of Steel, who even had time to try one of his infamous shots from afar which, unsurprisingly, didn’t render him a goal.

And now for the real deal: the Spain-Argentina friendly, which gathered six, yes, *six* barcelonistas on the pitch.

I wouldn’t exactly call this “friendly”...

Puyol, Piqué, Xavi, Busquets and Iniesta were all on Vicente Del Bosque’s starting XI, while Leo Messi looked a bit lost and in need of companionship in the albiceleste.

Before five minutes had passed, Sergio Ramos had greeted former madridista teammate Gaby Heinze with a kick to the head, and it all went downhill from there. It was a really rough, intense match. We were on the edge of our seats as Villa and Heinze discussed handbags during the first half, as Coloccini belied his cherubic blond ringlets with frightening tackles, and DeMichelis bared his teeth and the studs of his boots. There were yellow cards, two PKs and, if the whole thing hadn’t been so ‘friendly’, I’m sure the referee would have sent Heinze or DeMichelis to have an early shower.

Puyol was his usual fantastic self during the first half, dealing with Messi and Higuaín as if they were wayward children that ought to be stopped from interrupting Uncle Iker from finishing his sudoku, but during half-time he walked to the bench and wrapped a huge icepack around his left knee, leaving all culés to whimper in desperation and Albiol to concede a PK to Argentina during the second half.

And so Leo Messi scored one past Íker Casillas, in what I hope is a rehearsal for the match of the 29th. OK, so it was only a PK, but it was a very nice PK, I’ll have you know.

Now, this is much friendlier... I think Leo is asking Xavi and Puyi to adopt him!

Iniesta was fantastic throughout the night, even as Heinze, Coloccini and the rest of the Argentineans did their best (and, by their best, I mean of course moves that ought to be kept for the wrestling ring) to stop him, until he was subbed off near the end of the match. Xavi was calm, collected and the owner of the midfield, and he even played captain after Casillas was taken off in the midst of an ovation to celebrate his 100th international cap. Piqué, although less adventurous than he usually is during matches with Spain, did everything and more to stop the Argentinean strikers. Busquets was… well, “friendly” towards Leo Messi during the first half (he got a well-deserved yellow) and then towards Tévez near the end of the match, but he played well and allowed former-Red Xabi Alonso to move forwards to score the first.

Messi tried his best (he gave a pass to Higuaín that was a thing of beauty, shame the madridista was offside), but the ball barely got to him. When I saw him in his own half, doing a throw-in, I realised how hopeless his situation was. Still, he scored a goal and looked rather relieved when he was subbed off late in the second half (the Spanish public even gave him a round of applause, generous souls that they are).

There’s still matches to be played next week (Spain will play a friendly against Austria, Brazil faces Oman, and France and Ukraine still have the return legs of their playoffs), so let us hope that all our boys return to Barcelona on Thursday in good health and good spirits, to prepare a match that promises to be anything but easy: we face Athletic de Bilbao next Saturday!

Oh, speaking of the members. We’ve assembled six members of varying talents and charisma. Without further ado, here’s a 30 second propaganda advert on each:

Joan: Who completely failed to submit a small introductory paragraph about himself (way to go, Joan). Or, perhaps Joan is just inclined to live the life of mystery. Not much is known about Joan, aside from a few tidbits: He once predicted a Madrid win in an El Clasico encounter – the same one in which Barcelona steamrolled to a tune of 6-2. Poor pessimist, or brilliant reverse psychologist? You be the judge. Luckily, Joan has an extensive vocabulary and will certainly win your hearts with his articles.

Cameron:

I am honored and humbled to join The Offside team. Such a prestigious website I thought I’d never be a regular contributor, let alone help to head up one of the most awesome, supremely virtuous, cunning, many other adjectives blog on the web. My name is Cameron Zinsou, I’m a college senior at the University of North Texas, in which I am majoring in history. Hopefully when I graduate in May, I’ll be joining the military history program at UNT. I am an voracious Barcelona afficinado, and can never get my fill. A year from now, I plan on traveling to Barcelona, and of which later on I hope to live there? Becoming a socio is something I’ve contemplated for the future, as well. I will follow the club to the end of my days (and on a college student’s daily ration, this may be soon).

Adelaida: Not exactly one keen on introductions, as it reminds her of the new-kid-at-school syndrome, she’s kept her details short and straightforward. Adelaida Cubides has been a Barça fan since childhood. She’s prone to expounding on tactical aspects of the team at the slightest provocation and consistently cherishes those Barça titles more than any personal achievements. Oh, almost forgot. She says she’s most definitely not bringing a feminine touch to this blog. Sorry boys, keep looking.

Ramzi: Oh, that’s a familiar name. One that some of you long-time Offside readers may remember. Yes, we’ve somehow managed to nick Ramzi from the free agent pool to help contribute with this blog. You can look forward to his comments like old times and you can rub your hands in excitement for all the midweek Champions League match previews that he’ll be producing.

Bram Hubbell:

Over the last ten years, I have become an avid Barça fan. I was first attracted to the team because of the style of football the team played. I quickly fell in love with the team-oriented passing game. As I learned more about the history of the team, I appreciated the team even more. Barça has a rich history tied to the politics of Spain and Barcelona, which resonated with the historian in me. When I’m not watching Barça, I’m teaching history in NYC, traveling, or practicing yoga. In my travels throughout Asia and the Middle East, I’ve watched Barça games in just about every situation imaginable and made many friends based on a shared passion for the team. Given my background, my contributions to the Barcelona Offside will be of a more historical bent. I hope to share a little of Barça’s history with other fans.

Pedro: No, not that Pedro. I know, i know, sorry to disappoint. I foolishly decided to pursue other promising and exciting avenues of life instead of being a footballer. Apparently walking on those promising and exciting avenues of life has lead me here as part of this Barça blogging team. You’ll mostly see my name attributed to articles that no one else wants to do and in the liveblog match chats. So, if you happen to be perusing the site when there’s a weekend Barça event, drop by and say hello in the liveblog. I promise, I won’t bite. Though, i can’t speak on behalf of the others so it’s best to bring sacrificial offerings just to be safe.

Will Coldplay be replaced by another big name? U2 comes to mind. Maybe we’ll find we’re listening to something a little more underground, who knows maybe Viva La Vida will continue to blare through the Camp Nou speakers.

What do you want to hear?

I’ll go first: Barcelona, I love you but…I don’t understand why Marquez is still here. I understand he’s a decent CB but he makes too many mistakes with the ball at his feet. For Christ’s sake the only reason Valdes was a hero against Chelsea was because Marquez screwed up royally (and that’s not the first time he’s done it).

well, I feel better after letting that out. What do you think? Who should be on the way out but has magically stayed?

please be civil, no racist/religionist insults will be permitted

You all know how this works. I’d say let’s keep suggestions within the bounds of good taste, but I know how you kids are!

Have fun.

So, now, do your thing below, kiddies.

Corinne was the winner of the last go-round (in my strictly informal, not at all scientific voting, based solely on quality of belly laugh). New week, new go-round. Ready….set….caption!

So our beloved blaugrana is going to be in Los Estados Unidos de America for a little preseason tour.

Aug 21: vs LA Galaxy
Aug 65: vs Seattle Sounders
Aug 98: vs Chivas, in San Francisco (Candelstick Park, listed incorrectly, I think, as Monster Park on the FCB website)

Are you going to any of these games? If so, let us know in the comments if you’d like to meet up with anyone else from this board. Then take pictures and send them to me and I’ll post them. I personally am on the East Coast, so I won’t be able to make the games this year. Sad.

Whether it is simply a big, fat raise or a raise and and extension, depends on where you look. EMD says raise. Sport says raise and one-year extension, to 2012.

As far as money, I can’t find dollar amounts yet, but Sport says his dosh will almost double.

In other news rumors:

–David Villa is all over but the shouting, with only the numbers and method of payment to be agreed upon. Welcome to the world of high-profile transfers, right? That would be like saying “I bought a car, but I don’t know how much it’s going to cost or how I’m going to pay for it. But the car is mine.”

Both Sport and EMD, bastions of unbiased reportage, say that the number will be ‘tween 40 and 45 million. Or not, since we can all recall that just last week, Valencia said Villa wasn’t for sale, no way, no how.

Villa says that all will become clear on Monday.

–A study by the University of Navarra’s Institute of Economics, Sports and Intangibles (Huh? What?), my favorite university name of all time says that Argy Bargy has leapfrogged Thong Boy in high-profile media value, whatever that means.

–Filipe, who will most likely be our very first signing of the transfer season, is ready and geeked. It is believed that a deal has been reached for the lateral defender.

–Jorge Valdano of the EE, horns just peeking from under his overstyled hair as spittle-flecked words flew from his gob, said his henchmen could go after anyone they want, even players from (shudder) Barcelona. “Why not, if there was a chance that we could do it,” Sport quotes Valdano as saying. “All we would have to do is have the player’s soul extracted, and find boots that fit cloven hooves.”

What does this man want? Money? Fame? A ticket to Milan? To spit in the face of the club that has brought him so much fame and glory? To be understood and lavished with wads of cash? Love?

Good question.

This guy is news, because he is the key to so many things. If he stays, we have to figure out new attacking options. If he goes, we have to figure out what striker to buy. In the “keep or sell” world, reactions are still strongly in favor of keeping him. And we can add a new name to the “keep” side of the ledger, sort of:

“Eto’o finishes his contract next season and this means we must sit down and talk,” said our Supremo, Joan Laporta. “The will of the club is that he continues here for many years, always in compliance with our pay structure.

“For me he is the best striker in the world. It would be nice if he finishes his career at Barca.”

Let’s have a look at that bold-faced statement. Is this a negotiating tactic? It isn’t the first time that Laporta has said “We’d love to have this dude stay,” nor is it the first time that the caveat “But not at any price” has been added.

But why now, and what does it mean? Does it mean that we’ve given up on getting a high-quality replacement, given the marketplace reality, and are ready to talk real turkey with Eto’o? And what of this report in Sport, by one Jose Luis Carazo, who somehow claims to know of Eto’o tantrums and flying boot incidents?

The Blaugrana gods only know.

In other non-news:

–Is Robinho going to pressure Citeh by activating the “non-competitive” clause in his contract, forcing a move to our (probably) welcoming arms?

–The always-reliable Didier Drogba is rumored to have said that Inter’s “Special One” called him with an offer to pair him as a strike partner with Eto’o.

–Britpapers are saying that Garry Cook, Citeh’s Dude of Dudes, will be visiting Barcelona to get down to business about our Cranky Cameroonian.

–In a bit of bad news for Hector, Liverpool has rejected our initial bid for Mascherano. Or the bid never happened, and we aren’t even talking about the Argentine midfielder. It depends on whose rumors you believe. In that same category, the EE is purported to have bid 35m for Mascherano, because “Hey, you can never have enough guys, particularly since the Liga is going to pass a rule allowing us to play with 16 on the pitch.”

–As usual, Frank Lampard and his wife are vacationing in Catalunya. So when the rumors start that he is coming to Barca, don’t be surprised.

Yes, I am taking all of this nonsense with a fat dose of humor-filled grains of salt. Since people seem a little surprised by the frenzy of the Silly Season, here’s how it works:

A journalist needs a story. So he figures out who’s in play, and possible destinations. It’s clear that Eto’o is on the block, so let’s get some stuff going. It’s clear that Moratti visited Barcelona, so a deal for Ibrahimovic MUST have been done, because that’s the only time that club presidents meet. Further complicating matters is that clubs have newspapers that are unofficial mouthpieces, such as Sport for us, and AS and Marca for the EE.

In our case matters are even more complicated, because we don’t do the high-pro media stuff, preferring to negotiate like grownups. This sometimes allows us to snake off a deal, sometimes not. But because journalists are also fans, sometimes things are written in a speculative sense, as in “Boy, it sure would be nice if….”

And then a “story” comes out, and non-stuff starts happening that clubs have to deny on Web sites and the like.

And life goes on.

So yes, there’s a big, heaping dose of snark and sarcasm here, which is what I treat all transfer rumors with. Because until I see the picture of the player, grinning at the truckful of cash that is soon to come his way, I call BS on every last, single transfer rumor.

Because that’s how I roll. You won’t get many of these posts from Isaiah or I, because we feel about the same way that Hector does about Silly Season. But when there’s something concrete to say, as in the Laporta comments about Eto’o that might indicate something is about to happen, it will be worth noting. And I might throw some other stuff in there.

Or I might not.