Review
Barca 2-Mallorca 3, a.k.a. “Too much ugliness all around”
By: Kevin |
9 Comments
Must look good in blue and red, great first touch mandatory. Must be a team player and a fast learner. Patience and ability to learn new systems is essential. Catalan skills desired, but not essential. Please apply to:
Pep G
Camp Nou
Avignuda Aristides Mallol
Barcelona, Spain
All replies kept confidential.
Category: Evil Empire 4-Barca 1, or “Pimp slap is front of the hand, back of the head.”
By: Kevin | 40 Comments
That’s what we did. Rolled over and showed our goddamned bellies like a submissive dog, at a time when we should have been playing for a bit of pride, playing for the colors, fighting like savages for at least some salvation for this season of pustulence.
Instead, we get played off the pitch by a team […]
Barca 6-Valencia 0 or “Like unto a peacock.”
By: Kevin | 16 Comments
That’s right. Just like a peacock. You heard me. Beautiful plumage, lovely to look at, and what does it mean? Is there satisfaction in having beaten Valencia, the team that took our most realistic chance at silver this season, like a gong? Dunno, but note the “celebration” after Thierry Henry’s second goal, then ask the […]
Man U 1-Barca 0, a.k.a. “No silver for you!”
By: Kevin | 85 Comments
I’m going to be brief with this one because it’s late and my legs are tired from a long, cold ride home to watch a match that left me absolutely gutted.
Time’s up. No silver. I usually detest the idiots who do the post-game analysis for ESPN but this time, they were right. When it came […]
Barca 0-Espanyol 0, a.k.a. “Making Kameni look good”
By: Kevin | 29 Comments
Let’s just give him a pedicure, a nap and a bottle while we’re at it. Repeat after me:
If you shoot the damned ball where the keeper is, he’s probably going to make the save.
Make sense? Feel better now? Good.
Now. This match had the stink of a 0-0 just oozing from its pores. It was […]
Tags: Yaya, Messi, damn draw, Espanyol, Team News, La Liga, Lineups, Barcelona, Review, Highlights, Tag IndexRecreativo 2, Barca 2, a.k.a. “Kxevin is speechless”
By: Kevin | 49 Comments
Good news. Messi is BACK! All the pace and energy are there.
But I’m staggered. Wordless. There are times when you don’t know what to say. I only have one page of notes for this match, and the most prominent word is “shit.” I’m not at all sure what that says, but those who believe that […]
Barca 0, Getafe 0, or “Satan is a Goalpost”
By: Kevin | 25 Comments
Could someone just kill me now? I mean, right now. Lord, since you clearly don’t wear the blaugrana, I only ask that you smite me, that I might never have to witness such a display ever again in my life.
And I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
We don’t even get the joy of being […]
Schalke 0 - 1 Barcelona: HUUUUUYY edition
By: Isaiah | 9 Comments
Well, folks, I’m happy to be wrong here. I predicted we’d draw 1-1 and goddamn did we get close to drawing or losing, but somehow came out on top. I got home from work in what turned out to be the 10th minute of the rebroadcast and was immediately greeted with the words, “Barcelona is […]
Barca 4, Valladolid 1, a.k.a. the “Flatter to Deceive” edition, a.k.a. “And then there were four”
By: Isaiah | 17 Comments
Four points, baby! Four. Freakin’. Points. Kevin in the house again for Isaiah, wanting to wait until after the Evil Empire/Valencia match to post this match report, so that I could say, once again:
Four. Freakin’. Points.
Ray Hudson cracked me up with his “man of the match” debate, as if there could be any doubt. No, […]
Tags: four points, Valladolid, Barcelona, Yaya, Krkic, La Liga, Lineups, Review, Highlights, Tag IndexValencia 3, Barca 2, a.k.a. “Well, we still have the double” edition
By: Isaiah | 12 Comments
Dammit, this one killed me for so many reasons. First off, I know why he did it, and I’ll never, ever question his manhood, but Yaya wasn’t himself. He took the needle (cortisone) to play, and tried like a lion. A healthy Yaya stops that first goal, but such is life. It does absolutely nothing […]
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