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An imperious team performance by our men in Blaugrana today saw some vivacious attacking football that had Inter on their heels all evening long. Some good saves by Julio Cesar prevented by what all accounts (save the score line) was a rout. A singular tense moment in the first half, caused by you know who (Valdes) saw Inter’s only real chance of the game floundered. We were not even put off by our game by the absence of two of our biggest stars Ibrahimovic and Messi. By the way we played this evening, as a team, you wouldn’t even recognize their absence, which is how we should be playing every game.

Indeed, it appears that during his reign, Pep always finds a way to motivate the lads to do their best when it is absolutely needed: Barça 2-0 Madrid, Barça 5-2 Lyon, Barça 4-0 Bayern, Barça 6-2 Madrid, Barça 1-1 Chelsea, Barça 4-1 Athletic, Barça 2-0 Manchester. Now you can add Barça 2-0 Inter. We sit on top of Group F now, and as it stands, a draw against Dynamo Kiev will see us through to the knock out rounds.

Many of us (including me) were worried how the team would perform given out astounding (at least for us Barça fans at the moment) number of injuries and mishaps that had befallen our team in the lead up to the game. Abidal, who had H1N1 made a miraculous recovery and our steam engine on the left looked like he had been fine all along. Most unfortunately, the Yayaminator did not recover in time, as he had also contracted the virus discovering a new species of human relatives. Ibra and Messi were both out with muscle injuries, but both recovered enough to make the bench. Them appearing would be based on how our team was performing during the game, which we all would see was definitely not needed.

So diving into his magical formation making machine hat, Josep rolled out with this starting XI: Valdes, Alves, Puyol, DJ Pique, Abidal, Busquets, Xavi, Iniesta, “Golden Boot” Keita, Pedroad Runner, Henry. The lineup looked like this:

Valdes
A – Puyol – Pique – Abidal
L – Busquets
V – Xavi – Iniesta – Keita
E —————–Pedro
S – Henry

Pep gave Alves the responsibility of being everywhere and nowhere at once, which he did with his usual gusto, filling in as Messi and himself. He had free reign the entire evening, and I am appalled Jose Mourinho didn’t do more to limit the damage he produced on the night. Bombing run after bombing run, then sprinting to the other end instantly to break up attacks. To combat the stagnant nature of play seen in the first leg in the midfield, Pep had Iniesta and Xavi play next to each other, in addition the hard working nature of Keita ensured that in addition to having an extra outlet for Xaviesta to feed the ball to, Keita would close down space in the midfield and win possession back. This false 4-3-3 would allow then any of the three midfielders to advance up the pitch in support of attack. This was used to perfection for the second goal, which we shall soon see.

The opposing side consisted of: Cesar, Samuel, Lucio, Cambiasso, Chivu, Maicon, Stankovic, Motta, Zanetti, Milito, The Lion Samuel Eto’o.

Thank you Samu

Eto’o was received with a hero’s welcome upon coming back to Camp Nou, but once the whistle to begin the match was blown, he was treated like enemy, which he now is. Inter made a mistake playing in white, as we have a habit of beating teams in white like an unruly child in need of discipline. And oh boy did we discipline Inter in the ways of proper football today.

It was instantly apparent from the get go that Inter had made a fatal mistake that was to plague them throughout the duration of this game, they did not man mark Xavi or Iniesta. This immediately became apparent when the fluidity of Barcelona was at its top within minutes.

With the Barcelona engine flowing, Inter were powerless to stop us going forward, and fouls accumulated quickly, with Thiago Motta seeing the yellow card in the 18th minute for an accumulation of fouls by Inter. This constant pressure resulted in a corner in the 10th minute. Our Xavi floats in the corner. . .Henry with a man on him somehow (it was a very good play by Henry) got a flick on. DJ Pique was standing at the back post, being literally hugged by our former man Thiago Motta. While Motta was attempting to celebrate the fact both men had similar hair styles, Pique managed to get a foot out and hit the ball well past Julio Cesar. The exuberance shown from this young man, such pure passion for his club shows the leadership Pique needs to be a future captain of this team, which he will be. From then it was easy street and pickings.

Pedroad Runner was all over the place, showing flair and dancing his way through the Inter defense. He had Maicon’s number on this night, beating him a number of times. His constant youthful movement befuddled Inter’s backline, already pressurized by the rest of our midfielders making incisive runs into the box.

Fouls were traded off and on for the next bit, then in the 26th minute, it was vintage Barça at our very best.

Abidal wins the ball in the attacking half, and sprays the ball out left to Pedroad, he drops it off to the halfway line where Biscuits is waiting, and Pedroad begins his meep-meep! up the flank. Biscuits and Keita exchange a 1-2 whereupon Busquets finds a waiting Xavi on another one touch pass. Xavi, from the center circle, brings the ball forward and dumps it to Keita who one time’s it back to Biscuits again. Biscuits then finds Iniesta, who is sitting in the zone with yards of space to operate in (a death sentence for any defense) dribbles up to find a surging Xavi, the Xaviesta complex at work again, because along all this time is a certain Brazilian who is making the run behind the defense. It was beautiful to watch. The instant Iniesta receives the ball, Alves knows instinctively where to go, and what will happen when he gets there. Xavi releases him with no one on Alves who is suddenly is in so much space he could have opened up a real estate company. He one times a cross across the box, where Pedroad Runner was waiting patiently the entire time, and in a flurry of rotating legs finds himself on the end of a perfect cross which he volleys somewhat awkwardly past Cesar for a 2-0 lead.

You could see Inter was deflated, and we were running full of confidence. For the rest of the half and for the rest of the game, we looked threatening, and were unlucky not to score with a Keita header (45) and a Xavi header (54), AND an Alves FK (68). Although, this isn’t to say we came out in the second half with the same cutting edge and relentless attacking intent we had in the first. The tempo slowed down considerably, and we were happy to pass Inter to death, which is what happened. 66% possession, up from 61% at the half says all you need to know about the second half.

The only two half chances for Inter came on a long range Diego Milito shot which Valdes saved well and another one of those uh-oh! moments from Valdes. A simple back pass from Abidal goes to Valdes, who has a horrific first touch, I mean, this is a Gudjohnsen like touch. With Eto’o? closing down quickly, Valdes slides and clears the ball straight to Stankovic who thankfully skies the chip shot attempt. Valdes, one time that fucker out of there to midfield! What are you doing trying to take a touch with two opposing players within 10 yards of you? Be smarter, man.

Enough kudos cannot be said about Abidal, one of my favorite players on this team. Recovering from H1N1 and starting tonight, he put in a brilliant effort, and never missed a beat coming back from sickness. Effective supporting the attack, and brilliant in defense, he limited Maicon’s influence on the game tremendously. The duo of Pedro and Abidal kept Inter’s secret weapon at bay and on the back heel, isolating Milito and Eto’o up front, the latter of whom had a woeful showing overall.

Henry is not good enough to start on this team at the moment I am afraid. He is the one player who stood out to me as unimpressive this evening. His best moment of the game is when he ran with Eto’oesque fury at the Inter defense, forcing Julio Caesar to put the ball out for a Barça throw in early in the second half, which was justifiably greeted with great cheers. Other than that, he did nothing, save the assist to Pique. Those are probably two of maybe four or five positives things he did the entire evening. He’s not used to playing as a forward in the Barcelona system, and it showed tonight, and with Pedro in such great form (10 goals in all competitions thus far), I wouldn’t mind seeing Henry relegated to the bench as a super sub for the time being.

Busquets did a good job tonight. Following the KIS principle (keep it simple), Busquets became the foul magnet we all know him so well to be, getting players like Motta into yellow card territory early. Easy passes, and not acting like he was Iniesta ensures that slowly but surely, should something horrible ever befall the Yayaminator (like a transfer), Busquets could be our DM of the future. He’s still rough around the edges though, and his full maturity will be realized in a couple seasons.

A small side note, Jonathan dos Santos, although just for a couple minutes, made his first Champions League appearance replacing Iniesta in the 90th minute.

Onwards we go, to the Clasico this weekend. The big kahuna. I will most definitely be cutting my holiday stay at home short to come back to campus to watch our heroes pimp slap an once again overconfident Madrid side. Everyone will be banking on them as their top man Lolando (the kid makes me giggle) makes his return to action after a two month absence with an injured ankle. With their individually talented but gooey collective squad, I look for a similar result this weekend to the one we achieved last year at Camp Nou, albeit we won’t leave it as late this time. With Messi and Ibra, both rested and rearing to go, along with Yayaminator, look for a fully fit squad ready to take the lead back where we rightfully belong, at the top of the table. Visca el Baça.

They’d just witness their team perform adequately enough to sneak out with a rough 3 points a kin to last season’s tour of San Mames. But that was last season and this is now and they’d be returning to Barcelona with a singular point – never mind relinquishing pole position to Real Madrid.

Guardiola, forever one to remain humble, would always remind everyone that things would not be as smooth as the historic treble winning season. While, most nodded in agreement to Pep’s words, they did so whilst still riding the wave of success and euphoria. They’d sort of agree with an impatient, ‘yeah yeah, we know. Till then, get on with the trophies and celebrations, mate’.

True enough. After all, Josep and his boys had proven that you can have your fat cake and eat it too. All three pieces of it.

But like Rijkaard found out, and as i’m sure Josep is all too aware, doing it all over again in a bigger and better fashion is a difficult task. It’s easier to turn water into wine, which coincidentally may or may not be a sufficient lubricant to keep those cogs inside Josep’s skull churning. And it’s no secret that they’re always churning.

As Saturday night turned into Sunday morning, Josep was no doubt sifting through thoughts deeper than the broad overviews that he had given in the post match conference. There he sat, lights and cameras pointed at him. His eyebrows attentively arched, noting his team’s lack of tension and pace after Dani Alves rolled in the opening goal from a sublime telepathic pass from Xavi.

Josep knew all too well that Athletic would insist more during the second half; Lamenting the sub par defending against the long ball lob that seemed entirely too simple to even create any immediate panic.

Yet, it seems a peculiar notion. The team scores from the most intelligent and complex methods known in football, but they count the same as the most fundamental of plays that they appear to concede from. Chygrynskiy lost out to Llorente, who created a well fashioned diagonal flick for compatriot Toquero to gauge the physics of the bouncing ball before knocking it far side past Valdes.

Perhaps it could’ve all been avoided in the first half. No doubt, 20 minutes in, things were looking well. Spaces were available in pockets between red and white striped men and a few chances could’ve and, dare it be said, should’ve been converted.

Messi once again showing an odd flashback to his days when he first was breaking into the squad as he was found wanting on a near one-on-one chance with Iraizoz. ‘Golden Boot’ Keita, threatened Athletic with his usual aerial prowess that saw the ball bobble achingly close past the post, and Xavi failed to use his foot rather than the side of his calf to settle in a glorious chance devised by Messi.

You see, by the last echo of the first half whistle it could’ve been game, set and almost match. Easy pickin’s for all the Spanish journalists. Job done in 45 minutes, just in time to anticipate Messi’s injury and type furiously on medical speculation and Inter / Real Madrid implications.

And to be honest, the fallout from the match appears to be more important than the match ever was.

By all accounts, Messi had a stressful stay in Purgatory – the time between ‘ouch, that hurts’ and the doctor finally telling you exactly how bad the ouch is. Marquez was cleared from H1N1 speculation and a few sighs of relief could be heard when news fluttered that Ibrahimovic may appear as soon as the Inter match- barring any complications.

Though no particular report could be found on the why Josep waited as long as he did to produce a substitution, at a time when his team lacked clarity and pace. Barcelona have drawn four times this season in La Liga and the Champions’ League. In all four, Josep had refrained from producing a substitution until the 76th minute – aside from the Osasuna draw where Marquez replaced Chygrynskiy in the 61st.

All very important stuff, especially given Josep’s insistence on looking forward and putting the weekend behind them. Circumstances, as he says, has put them in a bit of a tighter spot than usual. Circumstance, as he says, is why they’re one point behind Madrid – then again, Guardiola apparently cares not one iota about that until after the crucial Inter match.

Which all means, that the squeaks and metal-on-metal wails from Josep’s head is not about this past Athletic match. Fair enough, as aforementioned it wasn’t exactly a completely different performance that had previously seen Josep scuttle away with three points instead of one point in last season’s visit to San Mames. And with Barcelona about to dive into the deep end, there’s little point in wasting further words on what has passed.

Yesterday’s was one of those pretty, gleeful matches that culés (and football aficionados everywhere) can only sit back and enjoy while they happen, and then go to hunt for the highlights and watch again and again. And it wasn’t because Cultural Leonesa wasn’t trying, far from it.

The match started in a sombre note, as the boys jumped on the pitch wearing black bracelets to keep a minute of silence for the death of Robert Enke, who played for us in the 02/03 season and who will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, Robert Enke.

Pep, making use of his usually unfathomable methods, rolled out a team that seemed far stronger than the situation warranted, with a back four that wouldn’t be out of place in a tough Liga fixture: Pinto, Alves, Puyol, Márquez, Maxwell, Busquets, Iniesta, Dos Santos, Pedrito, Bojan and Jeffren.

The presence of Alves, Puyol, Busquets and Iniesta, all of whom are travelling today to join their respective national teams, seemed to give a clear message of “we are going to take this match seriously”, and it seemed to be a message that Cultural took to heart, as their starting eleven (Calzado, Cerveró, Roberto Carlos, Salva, Segovia, Pereira, Yahvé, Chema Mato, Jito, Denis and Ferrán) went out to play with dignity and good sense.

Whatever this image seems to indicate, the Cultural players weren’t on a sightseeing expedition; especially not Diego Calzado (seated, right) who had a lot of work to do.

For the first fifteen minutes, Barça had a staggering 81% possession, but it mostly seemed centred in endless passing between the midfielders and the defence, with Jeffren occasionally trying a run or two and Alves being indefatigable and inventive on the right, especially when combining with Pedrito. Jonathan “Johnny” Dos Santos (apologies to the naming purists, but I think Gio shouldn’t be the only one on the family with a catchy nickname) also had a couple of chances, playing well with Iniesta and almost wearing a big neon sign reading, “Watch me play, Pep!”.

Cultural, however, were not ready to give up. Even if none of their players really believed in an epic remontada, they were definitely interested in giving a good show to those of their people who had travelled from León to watch them play in the Camp Nou. Puyol had the chance to show off a couple of times (once just missing a shot on goal that could have been the first), and Pinto was steady on his feet when Jito, Ferrán or Slva got close to him (mostly after slipping past Maxwell).

Barcelona, after performing endless, virtuoso rondos round the midfield, seemed to decide that further was better, and Dani, Iniesta and Bojan tried shots from afar, to avoid the hassle of the competent Cultural defence; rosy-cheeked Diego Calzado, though, had a good day and his reflexes were pumped to the max, denying Bojan, Jeffren and Pedrito some chances before the half-time.

The impression the team gave during those first forty-five minutes was good (overall possession somewhere in the 70%, shots at goal, solid defence), but not outstanding. Bojan seemed a little listless and Pedrito lost himself amidst Cultural defenders on occasion, with Jeffren looking the liveliest of the three.

This all changed, however, in the second half. Pep must be a damn fine motivational-speaker, because Bojan came back onto the pitch on fire, showing it with a fine bit of finishing after a cross from Jeffren (stemmed from a pretty, pretty cross by pretty, pretty Maxwell) to score the first goal after only eight minutes into the second half. Jeffren had a chance a couple of minutes later, but it was again Bojan, with a delicious shot in an almost impossible angle, who scored the second and celebrated it with almost as much passion as Thierry Henry had celebrated his goal against Mallorca this weekend.

There you go, kitten! Happy now? Feeling vindicated?

The match was pretty much sentenced by this point, and both Barça and Cultural seemed to come to a happy agreement to just give the best possible show to the few fans that had braved the cold to be there. Pep collaborated with this, bringing in Fontàs for Jeffren (“Huh?”, we asked. “A fullback for a striker? Another one of your little experiments, Pep?”) and Messi for Puyol a minute later. Why he couldn’t sub Fontàs in for Puyol and Messi for Jeffren, like any sensible person would have done, I attribute to his superior ability to turn anything into a mindgame (or maybe because Jeffren’s leg was a bit iffy and Fontàs had been warming up longer than Messi).

Then Cultural subbed out Yahvé and Jito (their only goalscorer) for Suárez and Richar, and Pedrito celebrated by scoring off a very nice Messi&Iniesta move that let the goal perfectly set out for our Canarian striker to continue his amazing run of goals. And Messi wouldn’t be Messi if he tried to do better than anyone else on the pitch, this time with a gorgeous shot that curled into the upper corner of Calzado’s goal after the poor man, obviously a bit unnerved by having so many people running at him, gave a poor clearance.

Iniesta had been paying magnificently all night, and Pep rewarded him by taking him off at the 67th minute for Xavi. I had hoped to see another young’un make his debut, but our second captain celebrated his presence on the pitch after barely seven minutes with a wonderful header that became the fifth goal of the night.

By this time, the whole thing was a party. Calzado laughed like a little kid when he made yet another good save (and another, and another), the Cultural strikers had become more like midfield spectators, and there were jeers in the stands towards our nemesis, Real Madrid, who really could have used those fives goals in their own match.

Dani Alves, just to confirm that he is back to his Man-of-Steel ways, had the last chance of the match with a run, wiggle and shot that hit the post at the 89th minute, and the referee promptly stopped the game the very second the 90 minutes were over, undoubtedly thinking that enough was enough.

Five goals are enough, Dani. You can stop trying now. Feel sorry for the man in the pink shirt.

Cue much exchanging of jerseys and happy smiles. The Cultural Leonesa had played a good match, Barça had won and everyone was happy (except the folks of Real Madrid).

I’m not going to grade the team this time. I’d probably go overboard with the grades, accompanying them by notes such as “brilliant”, “fantastic” and “magnificent”. Let’s just celebrate Man of the Match Bojan for scoring twice and recovering his zest, Iniesta for playing in Xavi’s position in a way that Xavi would be proud of, Maxwell for finding his form during the second half, Dos Santos for a match that was as good as any of Busquet’s (I think we are going to see more of him when Keita and Yaya go to the Africa Cup), and the Cultural goalkeeper, Diego Calzado, for a damn fine match.

And let’s hope that the international break is kind to us and lets us keep this spark for our next Liga match, the 21st, against Athletic de Bilbao, because with their recent results, the Leones are going to be damn hungry.

Here, have some highlights to tide you over international break and put a smile on your face:

Red. An acceptable color to entice bulls with is also culturally used to celebrate own goals.

I’m sure the common understanding is that such an event is dangerous in a very unsurprising sort of way. After all, bulls have horns, bulls are big, and when they are running at you it’s not because want your autograph. And thus, you’d imagine that in its history, there have been more than its fair share of bull and non-bull related deaths.

What if you were to guess? Would it be 5? No, maybe 25? 31? Well…

According to the wonderful world of Wikipedia, there’s been a total of 15 deaths since 1910. 15. In nearly 100 years, that’s not too bad actually.

Now, I’m sure if the bulls really wanted to, they’d be capable of achieving a higher rate than that but can the same be said for their footballing counterparts, CA Osasuna?

Well, since earning promotion in 2000, Osasuna’s average league position is right about 15. You’ll have to excuse the extraordinary moment of 2005/2006 where they finished 4th, only to drop back into a more comfortable 14th the next season.

But a bit odd in some ways. The general consensus is that the Reyno de Navarra is a reasonably tough environment to play in. The fans are as anxious in the stands as they are in front of bulls and the conditions aren’t usually the greatest in terms of the pitch and in terms of being kicked in the ankle.

Yet, for all the passing notoriety – that honestly only comes up about once a year when your team has to go there and snag points – the general contribution appears to only go toward scathing escapes from relegation and mid table mediocrity.

So, theoretically, if you overcome the whole home-field advantage psyche you should be in the clear, right? Out with the three points and onto Russia, aye?

Except for one particular problem.

You see, while there’s only been 15 deaths in just about 100 years, there’s also been countless minor and perhaps not-so-minor injuries. It’s estimated that each annual Running of the Bulls accumulates 200-300 minor injuries. The kind you and i say ouch to and oogle at the tender swollen skin but don’t bugger off and die from.

What’s even worse is that when you’re stuck with a boatload of similarly half insane mates avoiding bulls in old municipal corridors… someone’s bound to trip, fall, run into, collapse onto, and whatever else have you.

So just imagine that. You’re almost at the end of the 840 meter run, your legs are burning but you’re feeling confident that you can accomplish a fantastic feat. And just then you step on your bloody shoe laces and fall. Breaking skin from the contact on the ground and walloping your knee hard enough to make you cringe your teeth.

Bulls or dogs? You decide. Either way, they don’t have to worry about tripping over shoe laces.

Well, if you’re having trouble getting your imagination to function you can just pop in the replay of the recent Osasuna vs. Barcelona match.

Thirty seconds away from a hard earned win. One broken Mexican defender and one unfortunate deflection later, 1-1. A bloody draw. The proverbial shoe lace trip just as things were looking peachy.

Yes, a more vicarious Messi, or at least a proper consequence for maiming a streaking Ibrahimovic could’ve stuffed the match well and proper but it wasn’t as if the team’s play was lacking offensive impetus – it was just a matter of when. The tension was there from the start. It was evident, as passes were drilled to teammates and there certainly weren’t any feet of cement.

Josep and his boys knew that Osasuna were going to hustle and pressure until their lungs burned and while there were certain occasions where the urgency waned, the control and dictation of pace was naturally Barcelona’s. Yet a goal still looked unlikely. Minor chances came and went, Messi’s shots were blocked, Iniesta got stuck in thoughts a few times and finding Zlatan never appeared as easy of a task as it always does when playing in the familiar Camp Nou.

Yes, the newly shaven Chygryinskiy didn’t have the most stunning of matches. You could even say that he hasn’t had the most stunning of debuts for Barcelona and no one would lash their tongue in angry disagreement but let’s be honest here, a bull has more testicles than Osasuna had serious goal-bound chances. It was nominal, but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t willing to try. Oh no, Aranda and Nekoum were more than ready to connect quick passes and certainly did so on a few occasions while the ol’ rifle Pandiani seemed to be on a smoker’s break.

Regardless, a goal is a goal. Whether it was Gerard Pique slicing it in or God himself wearing a Osasuna kit whilst knocking in a goal… It was to be celebrated as their own. “It is frustrating especially as it was so late in the game, but these things can happen“, lamented Josep after the game.

Josep’s anguish as Camacho does his best bull impersonation

And that’s where it really hurts. Not the walloped knee from the shoe lace trip, nor the physical fatigue of having just sliced in an own goal at the 93rd. No, it’s a regrettable hurt, the kind that you analyze in hindsight looking for any little variable that could’ve been altered but the stinging sensation from a bruised pride and ego can’t be covered with a band-aid.

You can find solace in the fact that it was one of the 200-300 minor slip ups that happen to everyone as they run the gauntlet on any given season and so far, Barcelona has had one less slip up than the rest of the competitors.

With Real Madrid’s precedent of losing 4-0 to a Segunda B team the day before, a few of us were slightly worried we’d see a similar upset happen at the Reino de León, especially since Pep had given a day off to most of our match-changing players. But once we shook off the shivers and reminded ourselves that this is the Copa del Rey, a competition apparently designed to give the youth-team kids something to look forward to, confidence slowly returned.

It was the perfect opportunity for Pep to play with the puppies... erm, I meant, try the young players…

———————Pinto———————–
Jeffren—Márquez—Chygrynskiy—Maxwell
——————-Busquets———————
—————-Touré—-Keita——————–
———–Pedrito—Bojan—Assulin————–

Look at it. Notice something odd? Something different from my proposed line-up? Look again. Yes. You see it, don’t you?

What the Hell was Jeffren, a striker who is at his best when coming in from the left, doing playing right-back?! The only possible answer is to intone what has become my mantra since last season, “Pep moves in mysterious ways”. This strange move led to puppy-like Gai Assulin to make his official debut with the first team, and forced Busi to move into Yaya’s usual place, leaving our Tower of Strength in position to help Jeffren.

Cultural played Saizar, Cervero, Segovia, Salva, Gorka García, Yahve, Pereira, Chema Mato, Ferran, Chema and Jito, which is pretty close to what their starting eleven would have been any normal weekend.

The match started with Cultural playing well, playing strong, and having apparently taken the Alcorcón spirit well to heart. Luckily, Yaya Touré was there to get in the way of whatever white-shirted player thought he could just take the ball and run with it, and Rafa and Dima looked strangely comfortable playing side-by-side. Jeffren was trying, I’ll give him that, and running, and doing his best to impersonate Dani Alves (bitchfacing and tackling his way to a yellow), but he was woefully out of his depth and most of the danger that Cultural managed to create in the first half came from his side.

On the left, however, the Maxwell-Keita-Gai connection was working pretty well, and young Gai Assulin had a real show of class near the 12th minute, when he turned and twisted in the face of two Cultural defenders, only for his shot to go wide. In fact, I’d say he was the most active of our strikers, if not the most accurate. Bojan was trying a bit too hard to be Messi (which he isn’t) and Pedrito… well, Pedrito was there, but Jeffren and Yaya had enough problems with Chema and Jito to think about getting the ball to him.

There weren’t many shots on goal, from either side. Jito tested the magical powers of Pinto’s Braided Ponytail ™, but our second goalie answered all challenges nicely (even if he did take a few unnecessary risks from time to time), and with both Bojan and Pedrito running into the Cultural defenders all the time, Keita and Yaya both tried shots that went well wide.

But we wouldn’t be Barça if we couldn’t score even when the match isn’t all going our way! Forty minutes into the match, when Cultural seemed resigned to take the goalless draw to the half-time, and Touré and Busi had traded places for a while, Bojan took the ball into the penalty box and gave it to Pedrito before being mowed down by, I think, Segovia. Pedrito took the gift and flicked it past the goalkeeper with a deliciously cold-blooded show of finishing, and just like that, it was 0-1.

Does this look familiar? Pedrito has now scored in all five of the competitions Barça has played so far this season.

Heartened by the goal, I thought Barça would come out guns blazing to sentence the match early in the second half, but it was Cultural who cranked up the pressure. “Come on, these bastards don’t have mortgages!” was the immortal rallying shout of one of the Cultural players.

A bit concerned, or whatever passes for that emotion behind Pep’s unfathomable eyes and delicious gray suit, our manager finally did what we had been hoping he would do from the beginning, albeit in a more complicated way. Gai Assulin came out and Abidal came in. Thus, Maxwell moved to play RB, Abidal took Maxwell’s place, and Jeffren was returned to his rightful place.

And, damn it, did this work! Not ten minutes after the change, Jeffren lobbed a delicious assistance to Pedrito, who once again proved that he has very few things left to learn when it comes to finishing. 0-2 and it felt fine.

The match was broken by now. Bojan tried to pick a fight with the referee (who had been lenient all throughout the match) and Cultural made all their three changes at once, to try and get a goal in that would allow them to dream of a remontada at the Camp Nou. Pep was feeling benevolent and allowed another two youngsters to make their official debut: Jonathan Dos Santos came in for Keita, and five minutes later, Jonathan Soriano (the former Espanyol player who fought us in last season’s Copa del Rey derby) came in for Jeffren, who was suffering from his prolonged Dani Alves impersonation earlier.

Cultural still had a chance on goal, and we had more than one, but neither Jito, nor Bojan or Soriano managed to aim well, and the match ended with a comfortable 0-2 in our favour (I said it was going to end 0-3… not bad, even if I say so myself!).

“Stand back, puny mortals!” (no Cultural players were harmed during the playing of this match)

Now, for my unavoidably subjective grading!

Pinto: 8 Everything he had to do, he did it, and his braided ponytail didn’t suffer from it, though he took a couple of unnecessary risks.

Jeffren: 7,5 He is not a good right-back, but then again, there’s no reason why he should be; still, he did what he could, and later showed his best qualities when playing as a striker.

Rafa: 7 Solid and dependable, if not as fast as he used to be; the man wearing the captain’s armband last night is getting back in form.

Chygrynskiy: 6,5 Slipped up a couple of times, thankfully with no consequences, but he played well and got into the groove.

Maxwell: 7,5 Good job both as a LB and a RB; when he could play with Keita, it was a joy to see. I’d consider him for Dani’s position for as long as our other Brazilian is out.

Busquets: 6,5 Had a few of his “wobbly” moments, made a couple of unnecessary fouls, but he held his position well and helped the Yaya.

Touré: 8 Is my adoration of this man showing? Alright, so he missed a shot that should have been a goal, but he was always there to stop Cultural’s counterattacks and give Jeffren a hand.

Keita: 7,5 Not as unabashedly wonderful as he was on Sunday, but much more than good enough.

Gai Assulin: 7 Didn’t score, but it was not for lack of trying; he was active, he did everything he could to impress Pep, and I’d like to see him again.

Bojan: 5 His nerves were showing. He should be able to play this kind of matches without giving into the pressure; this said, he responded well to being kicked about and gave Pedrito the first goal.

Pedrito: 8,5 Man of the Match, if only because of the two goals; fantastic finishing and, once the right flank started working again, he had several good passes.

Abidal (for Gai, 56’): 7 Good match, even if he didn’t have much to do; he works very nicely along with Keita.

Dos Santos (for Keita, 80’): 6 He came in late and gave Cultural players more space than he should have, but he held his own well, all things considered.

Soriano (for Jeffren, 84’): 5,5 Did a bit of running around, missed a shot that he should have netted, but it was alright for his debut match.

So, we won and in a fortnight, Cultural y Deportiva Leonesa will visit the Camp Nou, with nothing to lose and a hell of a lot to win, but those two goals and our young players should be enough to let us slide further into the Copa del Rey. I’m good. Are you?

Rubin Kazan showed some evidence that dispels the whole banana peel theory last match day where they held Inter to a draw in Russia. But, this was the same Inter that’s been sort of suffering from some gearing problems in the Champions League, and perhaps Inter simply couldn’t see the frozen banana peel halfway hidden in the Russian terrain – an area that’s a few centimeters farther away than most customary Champion League away matches.

Funny too, because I couldn’t help but feel rather subdued as Ryanzantsev thumped in an early shot as hard as the hammer that was symbolic of the communist state that Kazan was once a part of. It felt like an isolated incident. I was ready to dismiss Marquez’s attempt to control the incoming lob as just a screw-up from some freak occurrence like involuntary muscle twitch syndrome or full body tourettes or his eye caught the sight of some beautiful vixen in the stands. Whatever.

As time went on, it become more and more clear. Granted the little pop up showing Rubin Kazan’s 1 shot to Barcelona’s 452 shots kept reminding me that yes, serendipity did have something to do with it… the fact that the Tatarstan team were continually stifling Josep’s dream boys and willing to move forward when possible confirmed that my banana peel theory was now completely shattered.

“Toure’s thinking man pose: What went wrong?”

I’d have to throw all my research material away, because of two bloody well taken goals by some Russian team. Bugger.

However, of all similar teams that have come into the Camp Nou and hustled and bustled and pegged their hopes on a solitary chance or two, Rubin Kazan certainly had been one of the most precisely organized opponents yet.

I would now usually start going into how in actuality Rubin Kazan’s astute defense benefited from a lackluster performance by Barcelona but that would only really be a half-truth. Yes, OK, Barcelona did look a bit lackadaisical in the first 30-35 minute stretch. Perhaps they had all come off a pre-game nap.

Point is soft passes, and a lack of true tension was evident. While Xavi, Iniesta, Messi and the like enjoyed the usual spaces in the midfield, the final passes were consistently disrupted by 400,000 green-socked legs and complacency was punished with tenacious marking and double teaming.

Like any other drug, the words of Josep Guardiola occasionally need time to have an effect and may creep up in a subtle manner. Firmer passes started to become more of the norm. Off the ball movement was done with cunning conviction and that classic tension that Guardiola approved of had started to show itself as the team tried and tried through clever Dani Alves lobs, dribbles from Pedro, body shakes from Messi, evasive Iniesta hustle and Swedish ball control.

“Firm passes, Messi! If i wanted them soft, i wouldn’t have gotten out from under the sheets of your mother’s bed!”

These behavioral changes and hard work were rewarded with a concrete goal: A cool-as-you-like lob by Xavi and an instinctual finish by Eto- err Zlatan. Ibrahimovic. The big one up front there. Right, ahem.

Progress was being made until the 73rd minute where a situation occurred that not only reads as an unappealing movie plot but really describes the match in a nutshell:

Messi’s minor complacency results in a pass which is once again deflected by a green leg. The deflected ball eludes the usual magnetic attraction toward Barcelona players and lands at the feet of Dominguez. Wasting no time, Dominguez tip toes and laces a pass right into a steaming Gokdeniz who opts to waste no time with limp wristed fancy ooohs and aaahs, instead going for the tried and true far post zinger to make it 2:2 shot to goal ratio (match stat notes there was a third shot but who are you going to trust, them or me?).

Not all doom and gloom, though. While there was a large spell of poor Barca performance, the team did show the ability to change and improve mid-match. With the absolutely atrocious and annoying international breaks out of the way, I think I’ll retain my faith on Josep finding an appropriate groove for this team even though I’ve had to abandon my banana peel theory.

Rolling Credits

- Bench

I can’t help but sneak in a little note on the available bench for Barcelona which read: A full-time rapper who moonlights as a goalie, a slightly injured caveman, Keiteeeeee, the criminally underused Maxwell, a plate of Biscuits, a slightly worse version of Pedro, and an ineffectual Bojan.

- Crisis

Starts with a… slip. That’s what Joan Laporta labels this as. A slip. If you’re keeping count, that would make the number of slips Laporta has been a part of into a bona fide crisis by now (see: Barcagate, Catalan independence disputation). Luckly, Guardiola’s short career at the top has shown he’s good at keeping slips from turning into the Titanic.

- Zaragoza?

Yeah, they’re up next. Good test. Jermaine Pennant is rubbing his hands in excitement.

- Dani Alves

That frolicking gazelle who has hysterical goal celebrations is out for 3 weeks. Predictably it occurred suddenly as he was tracking a ball back by himself, not from some crunching Alves-rolling-n-yelping tackle. Enter: Oleguer.

- Banana Peel Theory

Scratch.

- Madrid Can’t Win Big Games Without C. Ronaldo Theory

Check.

And we got completely and totally *owned*.

As it is, I’m not entirely dissatisfied with the result, to be honest. Valencia played a damn fine game last night, and Barça… well, Barça didn’t. Sure, we weren’t *bad* (I don’t think we’re constitutionally capable of it at this point), but we were far from last season’s Pep Show Boys.

This draw gives us a valuable point in one of the toughest fixtures we have this month, and it keeps us at the top of the table for yet another week. Moreover, it gives Pep the perfect chance to tear the team a new one and get them out of the rut that was starting to show against Almería before the international break. Guardiola is not going to be pleased with us breaking that lovely run of victories we had going on and no doubt he is going to give some lectures and make some changes for this week’s games against Rubin Kazan and Zaragoza.

“Now, now, little one, don’t cry, someday I’ll let you score, alright? Just not today…”

The lineup last night was Valdés, Alves, Puyol, Piqué, Abidal, Yaya, Xavi, Keita, Iniesta, Pedro and Messi.

Guardiola played Iniesta for the injured Henry, after all doubts on his fitness had been dismissed by the great match he played on Wednesday for Spain, and he placed Messi (for the first time in the starting XI after returning from international matches) in Ibrahimovic’s place, bringing in Pedrito to play on the right (Zlatan was reported feeling pain in his knee, after the match against Albania, and Pep didn’t want to risk it). We were without two of our star strikers, and half the team was tired and jet-lagged, but it looked good on paper nevertheless.

Now, when the time came to play…

Valencia played damn well all throughout the first half. Damn, they played miles better than us. They stifled us in the midfield, defended well and were damn fast when the time came to set up a counterattack. In fact, only luck, skill and a linesman who was a bit of a stickler, kept Pablo Hernández or Juan Mata from scoring; if that had been Villa, instead of his younger and more inexperienced teammates, Valencia would have scored before halftime, maybe even more than once. Valdés had several opportunities to show off, and he took each and every one of them, including a minute of “going goalie” (the footballing equivalent of “going postal”) after an episode of shoddy defending that didn’t have any consequences thanks to Keita’s last-minute intervention.

Our problem was that we were getting owned in the midfield. Valencia’s four defenders and three midfielders (Miguel, Navarro, Dealbert, Bruno, Albelda, Mathieu and Banega ) converged on anyone wearing blaugrana who so much as dared to touch the ball and didn’t let them do anything with it. Xavi was less than his usual majestic self, Messi wasn’t there (honestly, did any of you see him last night?) and Pedro was nervous and no match for Miguel. Iniesta, on the contrary, looked classier than ever, but the ball just wasn’t getting to him.

And damn, they breed them fast in Valencia, don’t they? As soon as they stole the ball from us in the midfield, Bruno, Albelda or Banega lobbed it nicely across the field, and there went Mata, Pablo H. and Silva haring off after it, more often than not getting away with it. A couple of close offside calls, some good saves from Valdés (and if it’s me saying this, you can take my word for it, they were *good*) , and Piqué and Puyol’s consistent capacity for being at the right place at the right time, plus the inexperience of the two young valencianistas, kept Mestalla from starting a somewhat-deserved celebration.

On our side… well, we had some chances too, during the first half. Two, to be exact. A really nice opportunity by Iniesta, which César cleared very well, and something of a chance by Keita. But two chances in forty-five minutes is not really something to be proud of, is it? Messi was uncomfortable playing as a false “9”, and after some twenty minutes, he tried switching places with Pedro, moving to the right to be closer to Dani Alves. This helped a little, and after thirty minutes or so Barcelona looked a bit more like the team which spoiled us for other clubs last season, but the spark just wasn’t there and Valencia were determined to continue what they had started so well.

Cruel though it may seem, I saw a bit of hope for us after Silva started feeling pain on his side after knocking down Puyol (yes, you heard right, little Silva fouled Captain Caveman and sent him crashing to the ground… the Canarian is *good*!), but he got over it and the first half finished with Valencia recovering the control of the match.

So *that*'s where you were hiding all throughout the match, Leo...

Luckily for us, Valencia slowed down a little in the second half and stopped making so many nerve-wracking counterattacks, no doubt exhausted after their wonderful performance during the first forty-five minutes of the match. Instead of Silva, Mata and Pablo Hernández, the names coming up were Banega, Albelda and Bruno, who effectively kept our team bogged down in the midfield.

The ball simply wasn’t getting anywhere near to where it could be a threat to César. The seven valencianistas who Unai Emery had placed there to stop the blaugrana attack were effectively swarming the Barça players who took the ball, and with Xavi slower than usual and Messi nowhere to be seen, it was down to Touré Yaya, Keita and Iniesta to try and break down the wall. A couple times we were close to getting there, and as the minutes passed and Valencia started showing the effects of the high-tension game they played during the first half, Barça once again started resembling Barça, but it was too little, too late, and Valencia were far from dead.

Xavi got one of his wonderful passes to Pedrito, who didn’t stumble with his own feet, but his nemesis of the night, Miguel, saved that nice shot on goal. In revenge, Pablo H. tried a cheeky shot from his own half that Valdés tipped just over the net after a few seconds of culés everywhere holding our breath. The referee summed up his odd approach to the night by ignoring a foul on Dani Alves after everyone had stopped the game, thus giving Silva a golden opportunity that Valdés snatched away in a wonderful display of cold blood.

Near the end, Pedrito got a reprieve from Miguel’s incessant marking when Bojan came in his place, and soon after that, Xavi made way for Busquets, but the match was too broken for those changes to make any difference. Touré Yaya, a man Barça is lucky to have, had the best chance a couple of minutes before the end of the match, but César, though far less providential than Valdés, was no less good at his job.

In the end, Barça walked away with a feeling of relief. It wasn’t pretty and we probably should have lost, but we got a precious point and we’re still at the top of the table.

After the match, Pep remarked that “the draw isn’t a failure” and cheerfully predicted that “we will lose many more points in what’s left of the season”, but he was his usually optimistic self in front of the press, congratulated Valencia on a match well-played and came to Messi’s defence, saying that “he played well and connected well” (really, Pep? Did you watch the same match I did?). Piqué, talking to all of us who always expect Barça to win, sternly told us that “we didn’t lose two points, we earned one” and Dani Alves conceded that the result was “fair, even though we had better chances, but weren’t accurate” (”better chances”, Dani? You do realise Barça weren’t the guys playing in white, don’t you?).

No, Pep, don’t clap, you’ll only encourage them to keep playing like that… and stop shaving your head, pretty please!

Here’s my overall opinion of the team (be prepared for some heavily subjective grading, I can’t be impartial when it comes to my boys):

Valdés: 9 The MOTM. And this is from me, part of that vocal minority who thinks we deserve a better goalkeeper, but damn, VV was in fine form last night, especially on the one-on-ones with Pablo H.

Piqué: 8,5 The only thing this man can’t do well is dress; fantastic positioning, really nice clearances, and there was a moment, late in the second half, I honestly thought he was just going to run the length of the pitch and score (he’s done it before).

Puyol: 7,5 Sure, he made a couple of mistakes, and he is slower when compared with Piqué, but he made some crucial tackles, was always in position, and put in their place all those youngsters who tried to get one past him; Mata particularly suffered from his hard work.

Alves: 4 It was not Dani’s night; there were no traces last night of the Steel Hummingbird we had as a right-back last season, and his attempts to shoot on goal were laughable, to say the least. He deserved the yellow he got near the end of the match, too.

Abidal: 5,5 He’s improved a lot, Eric has; solid on the defence, though a bit slow in the attack, he combined nicely with Keita and Yaya when he could and made Pablo H’s life just that little bit more difficult.

Keita: 6’5 Another player who has improved a lot from last season, he played as well as the Valencia players let him and had a couple of nice attempts at goal; it was a good idea of Pep to play him tonight instead of Busquets.

Touré Yaya: 8,5 Our Tower of Strength was magnificent last night, as usual; one of the few blaugrana players who refused to lose the ball to the Valencia midfield, and who got it back when he did, he also made a very nice attempt on goal that almost got past César.

Xavi: 4,5 Harsh though it may seem, Our General was not himself last night; bad passes, no playmaking… and this time he didn’t even have the excuse of nasty marking, as he did against Almería, so I’m going to blame Del Bosque and the international break.

Iniesta: 7,5 He’s fully fit and full of class, even if he couldn’t do much due to the ball not getting to him much; our best chance at goal came from his boots and it’s just nice to have him back, because it really does make a difference when he’s on the pitch.

Messi: 3 Where was he last night? Have the Argentineans replaced him with a clone? He had exactly one shot on goal and a couple of runs, and even the passes from Iniesta died when they got to his feet.

Pedro: 4 Poor dear was nervous and Maduro Miguel (I meant Miguel, got my Ms confused, thanks to Martijn for pointing it out!) totally and completely owned him; he’s not ready for this kind of games, and you could see in Zlatan’s face he was not happy with his substitute either.

Bojan (for Pedro, 76’): 5 He was better than Pedro, but I don’t think he touched the ball more than two or three times.

Busquets (for Xavi, 79’): 5 He was lucky to come in when Valencia were starting o get tired and Barça could play a bit more, but he did nothing particularly worth of admiration.

OK, I’ll admit I’m a bit disappointed (I was expecting a pretty, vibrant match, which I got, but also lots of goals and a Barça victory, which I most certainly didn’t), but I also have to admit the result was fair. Let’s just hope we shake off this funk by Wednesday, when we return to the European fields, this time in Russia.

He didn’t start, but replaced an injured Henry (28′) who was underperforming and still needs to find the groove he hit last season.

Starting XI
———–Valdes———–
Alves–ElCapitan–Chygnasty–Abidal
—Xavi—BigYa—Keita—–
Messi——Henry——-Mr.Pedro

Where was Ghostface!? I don’t know, but LordPep should know.

The team didn’t look as good as other times either, a combination of an off day and Malaga’s physical play took our boys out of their comfort zone. A special mention to the referee Ferreira Delgado for letting Malaga run rampant on our players and another mention to Weligton for being a dirty [expletive deleted].

It wasn’t the kind of game that we like to play and it showed, too many missed passes, unseen runs and other small mistakes added up but the win speaks volumes about the team’s attitude. Ibracadabra came in and showed that he can be a busbreaker and I don’t know if he’s even in full form yet…scary.

The first half was…well it wasn’t spectacular but we got through it (scary moment when Chygnasty got beat but nothing came of it). With Henry injured, I still don’t know for how long, we’ll see Pedro covering his spot, and I’m okay with that. On a more tactical note, Alves was practically a midfielder for this game and he did a pretty good job of it too, maybe knowing that he doesn’t have to go all the way back is helping him.

Our second half was more of the same, with Malaga’s pressure keeping our team on its back foot. What’s worse, Chygnasty picked up a knock (out for 3 weeks) and was replaced by Piquenbauer. While that’s definitely not a step down, we’ve already had some questions as to squad depth and these injuries really aren’t helping. But Pique didn’t care, he said “screw it, I’m Pique and I’m a CB that scores goals!” and he did just that. Thank you Pique! And that was our second half.

Enough time to look at BigYa back in a game (thank you Pep), and prove that this is a team that can win when the opposition plays rough.

Player Grades

Valdes 6 Bored I’m pretty sure if we played without a goalie we might not notice it. But it’s good to know that he’s between the posts, even if he didn’t have to do a single thing.
Alves 6 Frustrating He played to a higher level, but he makes a show out of fouls to the point that it takes away from my opinion of him (feel free to yell at me for it)
Chygnasty 6.5 Almost He’s getting used to the system and you can tell he’s a good player, but he had a little too hard of a time covering Malaga’s forwards.
ElCapitan 7.5 Solid A great low-risk CB is the best thing we could hope for, he might not score goals like Pique, but dear God he can set the tone for a game.
Abidal 7 Consistent! Had a solid defensive game and even pushed forward with some success, hopefully he’ll keep playing like this and dispel the doubts that I admit I had about him at the end of last season.
BigYa 7 Angry He seemed to suffer from the ref’s poor calling and ended up with a yellow card, Pep was smart to sub him off. Was consistent and smart with the ball at his feet
Xavi 8 Engine The metaphor gets overused but it’s so true, he keeps the team going and when he plays like he did, you know we’ll win.
Keita 6.5 Integrated It’s official, he understands the system perfectly, while he may have been a little off, he’s smart enough to play through it. The fact that he’s big and strong is good too.
MrPedro 8 Motivated He knows this is his chance to show that he can replace Henry on the wing in the next few seasons, if not now, and if he keeps playing like he did tonight, I’d like to see him on the field.
Henry 5 Disappointing We saw him play much better last season.
Messi 9 Wow Many positive adjectives.

Subs:
Ibracadabra 9 Busbreaker We needed someone to open Malaga’s defense and he came through. I like Ibra
Piquenbauer 8 Great He played ridiculously well and even found time to score while he was putting the lockdown on Malaga.
Busi2.0 7.5 Confident I think he’s never felt nervous on a soccer field, he has an aura of veteranness(it’s a word now) that was incredibly useful in this game. We’re lucky to have him

Hasta La Victoria! Barça!!

No really, that was absolutely amazing.

Our starting XI had a few surprises
——————Valdes———————-
Alves—Piquenbauer–Chygnasty—MaxwellHouse
——-Xavi——–Busi2.0——-Keita———-
–Messi——–Ibracadabra——–Henry——–

Everyone came out as if their lives depended on this game, before even a minute had gone by Henry had rocked the Atleti crossbar with a longrange missile from outside the box. One minute later Ibra scored with a clinical finish off of an incredible pass from Busquets (credit to Valdes and Maxwell for starting the play).

The second goal was a piece of class from Xavi and Messi with Messi chest trapping the ball behind the Atleti back four, juking the goalie without touching the ball and pushing the ball into an open net. Then Ibra and Messi combined to give Keita a sitter that he just had to tap. You’re getting an idea of the level of domination that we saw in this game. 4-0 by the 40th minute.

And the trouble started. Busquets, who had played far beyond what anyone expected of him made a mistake and headed the ball back between the CBs and we had our first goal against. Blame for this one has to fall squarely on our canterano, but hey, he’ll bounce back next game…I hope.

The second half was a break. We took our foot off of the gas and Atleti improved and we had a so-so half which was still enough for Messi to score another one and for Atleti to get a second. Iniesta came on for Xavi and Pedro came on for Ibra so that Henry wouldn’t make a scene.

Good win, Great Game

Player ratings

Valdes 6 Meh Both goals were more defensive errors, maybe he could’ve done more, maybe not. A decent game.
MaxwellHouse 8 Complete I heard people tout him as an Alves for the left. They were right. He might not cover as much ground, but he feels more efficient, amazing game from him.
Chygnasty 7 Simple Never tried to do too much, never got caught doing too little. He kept it simple and was solid at the back. Good eye Pep.
Piquenbauer 7 Good Not one of his best games, he maybe could’ve done more on Atleti’s 2nd goal, but he was good, and we can overlook a mistake in a 5-2 win.
Alves 8 Hectic Ran. a lot. Also finally scored off of a fk, and a rocket of a fk at that. Pushed forward very well considering the fact that he didn’t have to go back much.
Xavi 8 Clockwork He might never look like he’s that important but he keeps everyone ticking when he’s on his game. Just another day in the life for our 2nd captain.
Busquets 5 Unfortunate Made a mistake that cost us our first goal and he never seemed to get over it. We’ve seen him do better.
Keita 7 Strong Helped hold the midfield together and found the time to score one too. His strength kept everyone on the same page.
Henry 6 Faded Had a great shot off the crossbar and then slowly disappeared. He still hasn’t hit the same form he had last year, I’d like to see Pedro or Bojan at that spot.
Ibracadabra 8 Effective Nailed his finish on the first goal and covered huge stretches of the field. He got back more than I thought he would and had a great impact on the game.
Messi 9 The Best Man of the match. He outplayed everyone.
Subs:
Iniesta 7 Rusty He hasn’t played in a while and it showed, but he had enough time to leave some details of his quality.
Marquez 7 Testimonial Didn’t really have to do anything, but he held his position well. It’s good to have him back because we’ll need all the depth we can get.

Hasta la Victoria! Barça!!

This would probably be a good time to say that I need a 2nd writer to help me out here. If you’re interested, send Daryl a message with a writing sample and some basic info. (name, team affiliation).

LordPep brought out a starting XI of:
—————Valdes—————
Alves—-ElCapitan—Piquenbauer—Abidal
——Xavi—–BigYa——Keita—–
—Messi—–Ibracadabra—-Henry—

Well the best thing that can be said about the first half is that it ended. Okay that’s not completely true, but really there’s only so many times you can say “we outplayed them”. For those of you who didn’t see the game…it was BORING. So I’ll say it “we outplayed them” but it didn’t translate into goals. Messi was strong at the outset, but the rest of the team seemed content to dominate midfield without creating scoring opportunities. Maybe some credit should be given to Mourinho for that, but I’m not gonna give it to him…for the record I respect Inter as a club and an institution, but Mourinho is a t#&t. So that was essentially that and the first half passed like a gray storm cloud that doesn’t give rain.

Second half was typically Italian style. pack the defense and look for a counterattack to Milito. It didnt quite work for him but hey, if you had told him that Barca would be held goalless i am sure he would have accepted.

That being said, here are the individual ratings

Pep 4/10 I am not sure whether it was the right team put out.They didnt look upto the task at hand. I know Keita has given us decent performances this year and maybe Pep doesnt want Ghostface to be brought in so quickly after an injury. But did he miss a trick or two bringing on Iniesta so late with just 11 mins left?Kept Henry on for too much time when it was clear he was abysmal.Use your subs Pep.I know Pep is god but he could have tried Pedro. Maybe he wouldnt have made an impact but who knows right!

Team 4/10 didnt look sharp enough and didnt look fit enough.The free flowing football of last year seems to be missing.Maybe with time it will come and we all hope so.

Henry- 2/10 Was a disaster all game..Shocking performance from the french man.Would have given him a 0 if not for 1 or 2 good crosses here and there.Was more of a liability to the team.

Ibra- 4/10 was owned by Lucio all night. A person watching a Barca game for the first time might very well believe the commentators saying he suck(but in a nice way).Tried to be too smart on occasions and should have converted on 2 great chances.He’s still settling in so we will give him the benefit of the doubt.

Messi 6/10 Maybe i am expecting too much off him every game..I know its impossible but still…He was Ok but hey we have seen several better performances from him.

Xavi 6/10 The passmaster as usual. was’nt outstanding but efficient in his role. didnt see any killer final balls today. was a bit flat for my liking.he got better in the second half

Keita- 7/10 You never know this guy is on the pitch but does what is expected of him. Should have converted on that chance he got.Dont know he had such a bad right foot.

Yaya 6/10 Was ok.In the first half both yaya and keita looked to be playing the same role. Maybe Pep missed a trick in unleashing the Yaya(Read Attacking CM) on the poor Italians(humans).

VV 6/10 didnt have much to do in the game. had to make a routine save here and there which he did with ease.

Abidal 7/10 was good for most part of the game. Didnt go forward much but stuffed out any attack that came his way.

Puyol 8/10 was good. had a few nervy moments when Milito beat the offside trap but overall he looked quite comfortable as Milito didnt do much except for good movements and some long range efforts from him and Sneijder which is all down to the performances of the 2 CB’s

Pique 8/10 was good keeping Eto’o and milito at bay .Along with Puyol Pique was rock solid at the back and didnt have any glitches whatsoever. Far far better game than the shocking first half he had against Getafe.

Alves 6/10 Hey we have seen much better from Alves but he was Ok. Luckily he didnt get any FK’s which he would have rocketed it into a poor kid on the 16th row. Put in a few decent crosses but unfortunately it was the Samuel-Lucio show tonight . Both were outstanding.

Subs:

Iniesta NA Came on too late in the game. He could have made a difference if brought on earlier.

Next up we have Atleti visiting us on Saturday 22:00 Spanish time. Atleti have’nt been in great form since the start. But they love to screw us over, so lets not mess it up.

Hasta La Victoria! Barça!!