Barca 2-Boca Jrs. 1, or “All’s Well That Ends Well”

By: Kevin | August 16th, 2008

Yee. Freakin’. Haa! This triumphant pose, struck by our saviour, also perfectly captures my mood after today’s Trofeo Joan Gamper victory. I don’t give a hairless rat’s ass that this was an exhibition. I don’t care how ticky-tacky Boca played. I don’t even care about the sad reports that it took Boca 40 minutes to get back to the locker room, because they kept falling down, unaided.

I want the lads to win every match this season, and Xavi came through with the glorious goods.

The Gamper Trophy match is usually a Camp Nou (happy now, Genis?) coming out party for the lads. It’s all festive, the Barca Xips are fresh and all is right in the world. But usually, we don’t have to play our friggin’ way into the Champions League group stages. So the coming out party already happened, in the form of a match that actually counted. Imagine that!

This, of course, explains the “Say what now?” lineup of: Pinto, Corcoles, Sylvinho, Marquez, Pique, Gudjohnsen, Busquets, Yaya, Hleb, Henry and Krkic.

Boca reacted accordingly, fouling the crap out of everyone and everything with a pugnacious display that seemed to say “If you’re going to put the scrubs out here, of course we’re going put our foot in your ass. Duh!”

The graceful, glorious movement that characterized our play was absent, and joy was fleeting. But then there was Yaya. There is a blog-wide, full-on, Katy-bar-the-door man crush going on for Yaya. As for me, I’m beyond that now. I’m at the state of leaving flowers on his doorstep and sending anonymous presents of locks in various forms. Because he had the midfield on lockdown.

I repeat. We have the best defensive midfielder in the world. The end. The pace, the control, those rumbling, shambling runs with the ball that no defender can unruffle short of fouling him; the intimidation, the size, the flat-out glory that is Yaya, was on display from the opening ball drop. He was simply magical.

Have I gushed enough? Remind me to do some more later.

Sylvinho unleashed a shot that is probably on the moon by now. Everyone was clunky. This probably makes sense, since the only time this group played together was probably during the keepaway drills in practice sessions. And boy, did it show.

Gudjohnsen set Sylvinho up in the box, and he must have been waiting to get about 30 yards out before shooting again, because despite being in a great position, he just. Didn’t. Shoot. I couldn’t even muster up enough juice to scream “Shoot!” at the telly, because it was Sylvinho. You feel bad enough for him with that little upturned bang thing he likes to do with his hair.

And I finally have Gudjohnsen figured out. The stumbling, the staggering, the general messitude that is the Icelandic Monument is all a ploy. One scoring chance was created by him getting the ball, losing the ball, flailing his feet around and suddenly finding himself in position to shoot. Of course he missed the shot. That’s all part of the grand design. Henceforth, he gets a 10 in every match report. I’ve only just now figured it out. My apologies, Eidur.

Pique was proving that you can’t coach height, as every high cross intended for Palermo was intercepted by his brush-cutted noggin. Very nice.

There was lots of possession by Boca, always a bad sign. When they didn’t have the ball, or were worried about losing it, they adopted the dreaded Seasonal Defense. The usual season that proponents of this form of attack opt for is fall, because of all the falling leaves. When in doubt, hit the pitch and lay there. This was pretty successful, and lots of fouls were called.

Henry kind of danced around, trying not to get hurt despite being served hospital ball after hospital ball by his well-intentioned mates, while Krkic seemed determined to wait until real players took to the pitch. He was a step off, and seemed actually surprised by a few passes.

Pinto was on form, with a nice save off Palermo, and generally exceptional keeping. Hleb was spot on, doing his Hleb thing, which is holding possession and always making the smart pass. Sure, there are opportunities to maybe try to catch a guy cutting, or hope a defender is looking one way and won’t be ready for that through ball. Hleb is more into the sure thing, which is precisely why he will prove to be invaluable to us this season.

Busquets hit the crossbar on a long-range rocket that should have gone in, and that was pretty much that pesky first half.

Then the changes started coming. Puyol entered, as did Pedro, Jeffren and Abidal. Some movement was back, and Abidal instantly began doing his greyhound thing, outrunning everybody and his mama to every ball that was in question. Puyol was at right back, doing yeoman work. It’s a pleasure to watch a professional, who knows what he can and can’t do. But Boca still had lots and lots of possession, playing much of the second half in our end. After a great scoring chance that came from Pedro getting smoked in the corner, there were more changes. Entering were Xavi, Iniesta, Eto’o and Vasquez.

And for a while, these moves didn’t really help. Boca seemed fired up. Yaya was still man-sized, with a great play in which he ran down an attacker, calmly dispossessed him of the ball, turned around and brought the damn thing up himself, starting the offense. It looked so positive for us, and then….

They scored. It all started when Vasquez let his man go around midfield. Suddenly, everyone seemed a position away from where they needed to be, and the fire drill defense combined with abysmal box marking to create a well-taken Boca goal.

Baby Kxevin was mad. My note pad still has scorch marks around the sides. Then Keita came in for Yaya, and the lads flounced about for a while before deciding that it was go time. A great play by Iniesta found him in the box with a collapsing keeper, and he skied it. He had another chance, again with the keeper pretty much out of the picture, and he shot it wide. I’m predicting extra shooting practice for SPF 45 this week.

Things wound their way to a close, and then came the word. 5 minutes of extra time. Take that, ya floppers. Boca proceeded to try to kill time, and Guardiola’s face looked as black as the Catalan night, until hard work broke possession loose, and we earned a corner. A beyoootiful, heaven-sent ball from Xavi found the head of El Capitan, who displayed some crazy-ass hang time and unleashed a rocket of a header. Suddenly, it was 1-1, and Guardiola allowed himself the briefest of smiles. Just a tad. Couldn’t let a player see any expression of joy for their mostly off-song display, after all.

Things got a little loose, and Pinto made a spectacular kick save on a shot that for sure looked good to go, then came the corker. A charge up the pitch, a perfect break by Eto’o and an even more perfect pass from Xavi for the Eto’o header. Suddenly it was 2-1, and those flare-firing Boca fans weren’t dancing any longer. Eto’o was doing a striptease, and all was right in the world. Baby Kxevin was happy again.

With that, the grades:

Pinto: 8. Great match, including two match-saving stops, particularly that late one. He really follows the ball well, and rarely seems caught out, except when his defense hangs him out to dry.

Corcoles: 3. When does the B season start? He has somewhere to be.

Sylvinho: 4. When he wasn’t being outrun, he was being outjumped. He was a hair off, and is usually better. I’m figuring he came down to the level of his teammates, rather than rising above. It happens.

Marquez: 5. Very, very solid. A little panicky at times, but with the likes of the folks he was surrounded with, that would only make sense.

Pique: 7. Nice in-the-air play, but he really did at times make it abundantly clear why the deal with Man U went so smoothly. But then he’d make a solid, elegant play. Not sure about starting, except against teams that are strong on set pieces.

Gudjohnsen: 3. I know what I said. I just can’t bring myself to do it. He makes passes to players that are either timed to arrive at the same time as the defender, or make someone have to stretch or stop to come back to the ball. I know that sharpness comes with playing time, but still. Damn, yo!

Busquets: 4. I loved the rocket shot. He didn’t do much beyond that except run around looking out of place, like the rest of the guys.

Yaya: 9. Only because it’s just too early in the season for a 10. Spectacular. (see gushing, above)

Hleb: 7. I want to see him more offense-minded when he’s in a lineup such as that one. Somebody has to be.

Henry: 5. A few good plays, including creation of an excellent chance. Did anyone notice how powerless the left side became when he was subbed out?

Krkic: 4. The kid was off song today. He looked lost without the usual cast around him, like others out there.

Substitutes:

Pedro: 4. Not ready for prime time.

Puyol: 7. Dynamic and active on the wing, controlling things and scoring the tying goal. He also kept the lads moving late in the match, running up to extra time, in an effort to defeat Boca’s delaying tactics. He deserves some blame for the goal, but so does everyone. Man-sized performance.

Jeffren: 4. Didn’t help, didn’t hurt.

Abidal: 7. Continues his maturation into the player we’d thought that we signed from Lyon. Strong defense, great pace and energy to burn. Does he ever stop running?

Vasquez: 2. Here’s a tip: When you lose possession of the ball at midfield, work to get it back. Chase your man, foul him, slide tackle him, do something other than just letting him run toward your keeper. I’m just saying.

Xavi: 9. It’s still too early in the season for a 10. But if anyone deserves one….the assists on both goals. He put that cross where only Puyol could get it, and like that dunk in the move “White Men Can’t Jump,” he seemed to know that El Capitan would rise to the occasion.

Iniesta: 7. Movement, effort and energy. He, along with Xavi and Eto’o, brought back the movement that makes us unbeatable. If he scores either of those goals, he gets a 10.

Keita: 6. He’s not Yaya, and it’s hard not to feel a letdown when he comes in. But he really is a first-class defensive midfielder. He’s just more effective pushing up, rather than playing a strict holding role.

Eto’o: 9. Yes, his second almost-10 from me. He came in, and immediately created a half-chance off a header that a defender had to brush off. And that header goal for 2-1 deserved a striptease. Full-speed off a rocket of a pass, after muscling inside the defender….man!

That’s all I got. Sorry this is a bit longer than usual, but this was such a crazy match. And this is going to be a crazy season. Can anyone think of a match in which all of our goals came off headers?