Summer Transfer School: What We’ve Learned So Far

FC Barcelona financial team hard at work

One week in and the volley of rumors are at full force. And right in the middle of it all is you. To keep you abreast of what the hell has been going on in this crossfire:

No defenders? No defenders, or at least that is one of the more recent rumors being stirred in the kettle so far. The idea behind it is to count on Pique, Puyol, Abidal, Mascherano, Busquets and Fontas for complete coverage. Bartra would also get the occasional dose of first team football throughout the season and the club saves X amount of money to fetch Y midfielder and Z forward. Is it a feasible plan? Well, if you have a working crystal ball or impeccable foresight, you tell us. The comment section is right down there somewhere. The blog suspects that with the number of games to be played next season and inevitable injuries, the club would be cutting it close like last year and all the other years before that.

Rossi, Sanchez, Rossi, Sanchez! Both? No, put simply. Any businessman worth more than the price of their suit can tell you that you don’t only focus on one and risk coming home empty handed. The associated rumors will have you believe that the general personal contracts for both Sanchez and Rossi have been settled. Fair enough, usually happens. But things have a penchant for crumbling when it comes to club demands and itty-bitty details. But for once, it’s fairly clear for all to see: Barcelona want a agile, pacy, positionally-aware forward who has the prerequisite technical tools to play across the entire upper half of the pitch. Or, amidst rumblings of consternation from the Inter Offside, perhaps Barcelona will buy both just because.

Fa-breh-gas. The blog does its part to keep one of the most enduring transfer sagas going. The good news is that both sides have gotten over the vitriolic, hate spewing fanzine hump of last summer and have seemingly entered a more Zen state where The Dude abides. Now, the dusty standoff is waiting for someone to make the first move. Barcelona will accept nothing less than a toddler fit from Fabregas to kickstart the process. While Fabregas seems to be waiting for a Mundo Deportivo and Sport sponsored dump truck to unload several millions in front of the Emirates before gleefully pointing at the cash money evidence and packing his bags. At this rate, expect this transfer to be completed in 2054 at the behest of team boss, Guardiola Jnr.

Chump change. Admittingly, the majority of these rumors and reports are being shot from one side to another. While barely a pip and a squeak are heard from the other side on a good day, which means it’s business as usual. For starters, Martin Caceres is out. The once most expensive under 21 defender at 20 ME has given the club a return of 3 ME. Next on the list is Henrique, who may likely return to former outfit Palmeiras, as long as someone or other is willing to pay a Caceres-sized transfer fee. Milito appears to have more leeway and is expected to journey on for free. While Hleb, um, let’s forget about him for now.

Maximus Thiagus. The sort of midfield heir apparent but not really should probably not be part of any transfer discussions, but here we are. This blog fully expects him to be plying his trade amongst Xavi and Iniesta next season, and his father seems to think so too. Nevertheless, this blog expects more silly rumors based on the formula: X millions + Thiago for Z player.

Bojan. Like any good blog, we need a scapegoat and Bojan has performed admirably as the unofficial mascot/piñata, but is it time to go? No one knows for sure aside from a select few like Bojan and Guardiola. People are – predictably – split on the subject. The big worry is based on what benefit will come if Bojan performs and receives the same chances as last year? In other words, another helpful but not there yet kind of impression. It might just be time to turn him loose with a moderate buy-back fee.

So in the end, what have we learned? Nothing really. Rumors still reign supreme and although some progress appears to have been made, there’s still a long way to go. A long way, but what we definitely do know is that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is still in detention and won’t be coming back. Hear that Maxwell?
Someone give Maxwell a tissue to wipe the tears off his face.

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Category: Barcelona, Nonsense, Thoughts, Transfers/Transfer Rumors