UEFA Team of the Year 2009: vote blaugrana!

As we all know, UEFA likes to keep us entertained. Champions League, Europa League, pointless awards, embarrassing mistakes… but now they bring us something more. Something interactive. Something to keep you awake should tonight’s Deportivo-Barça game turn out to be anything like that night with Xerez (I hope you didn’t fall asleep just by the mere mention of it).

UEFA wants *you* to vote for the 2009 UEFA Team of the Year. And it has lovingly prepared a list of 60 of the best footballers currently playing in Europe for you to choose from. And it just so happens that eleven players out of those sixty play for Barça. And then there’s Samuel Eto’o. And you can even choose Pep and his leather necktie to manage your team (as if you would choose anyone else!).

The 2008 UEFA Team... why would anyone choose Xavi over Puyol for captain?

You can either vote here (and also leave your comments about Puyol’s hair, CRon’s tan and Platini’s mental health), or you can finish marvelling at the list under the jump and then vote here.

So, even though Barça has eleven candidates, you can’t make a UEFA Barcelona Team of the Year. I tried, but the blaugrana candidates are as follows: Víctor Valdés, Dani Alves, Carles Puyol, Gerard Piqué, Dmitri Chygrynskiy, Eric Abidal, Touré Yayá, Xavi Hernández, Andrés Iniesta, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Lionel Messi.

No, don’t rub so hard at your eyes. It isn’t a mistake. Yes, Chygrynskiy is in the list. Why wouldn’t he be? Perhaps someone in this world would choose him over the likes of Puyol, Piqué, Vidic, Terry, Mertesacker or Ferdinand. My theory is that Platini was so impressed by Pep’s efforts to sign the Jesus Christ Superstar lookalike this summer that he insisted on his inclusion on the list. Or maybe they needed a token Ukrainian. Or something.

All this, and Eto'o too!

So, the full list is this:

Goalkeepers: Víctor Valdés (FC Barcelona), Van der Sar (Manchester United), Iker Casillas (Real Madrid), Neuer (Schalke 04) and Julio César (Inter)

Right-backs: Alves (FC Barcelona), Maicon (Inter), Srna (Shakhtar), Zanetti (Inter) and Lahm (Bayern Múnich)

Central defenders: Piqué (FC Barcelona), Puyol (FC Barcelona), Chygrynskiy (FC Barcelona), Terry (Chelsea), Vidic (Manchester United), Ferdinand (Manchester United), Chiellini (Juventus), Vermaelen (Arsenal), Mertesacker (Werder Bremen) and Bruno Alves (Porto).

Left-backs: Abidal (FC Barcelona), Evra (Manchester United), Schäfer (Wolfsburg), Cole (Chelsea) and Cissokho (Lyon).

Right midfield: Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid), Stankovic (Inter), Navas (Sevilla), Krasic (CSKA Moscú) and Hamsik (Nápoles).

Central midfield: Xavi (FC Barcelona), Touré Yayá (FC Barcelona), Xabi Alonso (Real Madrid), Semak (Rubin Kazan) and Lampard (Chelsea).

Attacking midfield: Gerrard (Liverpool), Kaká (R. Madrid), Gourcuff (Burdeos), Diego (Juventus) and Misimovic (Wolfsburg).

Left midfield: Iniesta (FC Barcelona), Giggs (Manchester United), Arshavin (Arsenal), Ribéry (Bayern Múnich) and Özil (Werder Bremen).

Forwards: Messi (FC Barcelona), Ibrahimovic (FC Barcelona), Eto’o (Inter), Dzeko (Wolfsburgo), Grafite (Wolfsburgo), Torres (Liverpool), Rooney (Manchester United), Villa (Valencia), Forlán (Atlético de Madrid) and Berg (Hamburgo).

Managers: Guardiola (FC Barcelona), Lucescu (Shakhtar), Ferguson (Manchester United), Blanc (Burdeos) and Hrubesch (U-21 German NT).

Its generosity towards long-haired Ukrainians notwithstanding, this game is also cruel. It forces you to choose between Xavi and Yaya. Why would anyone do that?! And our dear Víctor Valdés looks a bit out of his depth by the sides of Casillas, Van der Saar and Julio César (luckily he has Neuer to keep him company there). And, honestly, no Barça candidates in the Right Midfield or Attacking Midfield positions?! Why?

Anyway… who would you vote? Who would you strike right out of the list? Who can you not believe is missing from said list? And don’t forget to vote here!

(and don’t miss Andrés Iniesta preparing to commit a burglary. Or something like that. His Facebook pics are source of endless amusement (unlike his comments)).

Some Related Barcelona Posts:

• Barça players and the International Break: Spain, Argentina and the meaning of ‘friendly’
• Leo Messi’s Golden Ball (and other things you didn’t already know)
• We’re the best of La Liga… but you already knew that, didn’t you?
• FIFA World Player Nominees and the Barça machine
• A Ballon D’Or on a field blaugrana…

Category: Barcelona, Nonsense

Tags: Andres Iniesta, Barcelona, Carles Puyol, chygrynskiy, Dani Alves, Eric Abidal, Gerard Pique, Lionel Messi, Nonsense, Pep Guardiola, UEFA, Victor Valdés, Xavi, Yaya Toure, Zlatan Ibrahimovic

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