Shakhtar 1-Barca 2, a.k.a. “Augggg…um…yaaaaaay!”

By: Kevin | October 1st, 2008

Okay, the last time I wrote “Are you kidding me?” I’m just not sure what to write this time as our lads have done it again, lulling a team to sleep with dithering, back and forth balls before finally, late in the match, deciding that it was time to work the full-on mojo. One goal was a favor, the other was just exquisite, and you know what? We’ll take them both.

Ye gods, what a win!!!! What a crazy, improbable win fueled almost entirely by the magic man, our petito Argentino, Lionel Messi.

When Xavi was asleep on the plane dreaming, I’m betting he wasn’t conceiving of this one. I’m getting tired of typing this, but again….a Rijkaard team doesn’t win this match.

And let’s be clear about this one. This report isn’t going to be all sunshine and “Yay, we won!” We were tired-looking, meandering shit for about 70 minutes of this match. We looked tired, tired, tired.

Starting XI: Valdes, Alves, Pique, Marquez, Puyol, Yaya, Keita, Iniesta, Xavi, Henry, Eto’o.

I had two thoughts when I saw that starting lineup. 1. Wow, we’re really after the offense, but with the safety net to keep things in check (except for that Puyol/Marquez turtle tandem). But with the double mids of Keita and Yaya, okay. 2. Is Guardiola on crack? Those guys are all tired after that Espanyol match, both physically and psychologically. The bold-face names played every minute of the Barcelona derby.

And they looked it. Shakhtar looked to take advantage of the very clear fatigue. Make no mistake about it. Our susceptibility to their physical play was enabled by fatigue. The cuts weren’t sharp, the passes weren’t on the money, the movement off the ball verged on nonexistent. Fresh, we destroy Shakhtar for daring to play high as they were, pressuring the ball. One elegant pass, one slick run and that strategy is all done for.

Henry seemed to sense that, and seemed to expend all of his remaining energy on a pass that he really should have controlled and finished. It’s a chance that, if he wants people to take his bleating about being a goal scorer when he plays centrally seriously, he has to freaking bury. Hitting it right at the keeper is just unacceptable. He scores that great chance, one that one of the best strikers in the world is supposed to take, and the match is over. Shakhtar’s worst nightmare is realized, and we maybe put 2 or 3 more goals on them for good measure.

Instead, they were encouraged, and we let them play football. Cut and move, you suckers! Everybody looked clumsy on the ball. The only bright spot, really, was (again!) Iniesta. His movement, cutting and intent were on the mark. But one man isn’t going to pierce a team that really, really played well and kept its shape defensively, and pressured the ball high up the pitch offensively.

Kinda our formula. Yes, the possession stats were heavily in our favor, but it was all meaningless possession of the kind a team is more than happy to give us.

Who knew it was the snake charmer thing, lulling Shakhtar to sleep? Not me, that’s for sure. I was all ready to bash away at the keys, a snarling, dyspeptic screed about how la regime Guardiola needs work.

I love being wrong.

And about that Shakhtar goal. Can’t blame Abidal for that one, eh? (Insert demonic laughter.) A long ball that again, that Pique casually sashays after and heads into danger, directly into the path of the attacker. Poor Puyol is there trying to make a play but not really being fast or strong enough to get in front of the defender, or muscle him off the ball. A deft lob over a venom-spitting Valdes does the business, and Shakhar are rolling. The fans are giddy, the players are energized, and we’re all saying “Oh, shit.”

But wait….we’re going to respond, right? So we did, with more toothless, meandering football. Guardiola looked like you could have fried an egg on his forehead. Clearly, changes were coming in the second half, but he wanted to be patient.

A word about Shakhtar’s tactics. They work against tired teams, or teams that you are just better than offensively, allowing you to translate that high line into goals. The physical play is the equalizer, as in when the other team gets the ball and is looking dangerous, just foul somebody. Shakhtar were very good at that. Can somebody please, please, PLEASE explain to me how in the hell that ref let Brandao go almost 90 minutes without a yellow?

Wait….English ref. No blood, no foul. Elbows, kicking and in the second half, just falling down were the Shakhtar tactics. The officiating played right into their hands. We are always going to be on the wrong side of a foul fest, and if an official lets it happen, sides will be allowed to kick us right off the pitch. Yes, he was non-calling it both ways, but there weren’t really calls to make against us, because we weren’t doing anything.

So, here we are in the second half, and what happens? Pretty much craziness. We started out the second half like gangbusters, all business for about 5 minutes or so, until the energy ran out, as I knew it would. Sorry, but you just can’t play a match such as we played on Sunday, and expect to be very good on Wednesday. So we weren’t.

Until the wee one entered. As the great line from the movie “Tombstone” goes, “I’m a coming, and hell’s coming with me.”

Once Messi entered, the movement began. And once the movement began, the rest was inevitable. Even with Shakhtar deciding to step out of their shell, whenever they did, Messi made them pay. The first goal was a simple one, based in their effort to disrupt the game by falling to the pitch and rolling around every chance they got. It was despicable, really, a cynical attempt that sullied a well-played, scrappy match by that side.

And then, off a quick restart, Krkic laces a ball in that, inexplicably, the keeper spilled. Messi was there with the quickness for the tap-in, and suddenly the match was tied. The Shakhtar lads were mightily vexed, presumably because they were feeling that because one of their lot had drummed up a bullshit, exceedingly temporary injury, that we should have kicked the ball out, to let them play it back to us, all sportsman-like. Well how in the hell are we supposed to feel sporting, when your lads have spent the entire night kicking us off the pitch?

Ain’t gonna happen.

Now, it’s worth noting that Messi by himself didn’t do the business. He needed, strangely enough, Gudjohnsen fumbling around out there in the midfield, making the Shakhtar players giggle, and Krkic’s quicksilver movement, to break things loose. From then on, beauty slays beast.

And now, player ratings:

Valdés: 7. Solid as a rock, and is getting much better about coming off his line to control his space. He couldn’t do a damn thing about that goal except fume, which he did very effectively. Yes, people love to hate him but really, he kept us in the match with some very good play.

Alves: 4. Only his free kicks saved him. Brandao beat his ass like a gong all night, literally and figuratively. Alves is supposed to be faster than that mack truck, right? Then why wasn’t he? Jaysus! I’m glad that the lads have finally figured out that he’s the one to take free kicks. He almost hit one in, requiring a strong save from Shakhtar’s keeper. Still. If you aren’t going to play defense, then kick ass on offense. I’m kind of thinking that Del Nido is sniggering into his cloven hooves right now.

Puyol: 4. Outclassed and slow. Yes, the effort was there. Yes, the fire is still there. But who among us doubts that two years ago, that ball doesn’t even come close to troubling Valdes? Even one year ago. The half-life of a player is vicious. And it hurts to say that. Really, truly hurts. But whenever Puyol is on the back line with Marquez of late, things just look particularly unsettled. Call it the old “double pokey” corollary. Give me Abidal at left back all day. He’s in place before the ball even drops, and our clean sheet is in the house.

Márquez: 6. Very solid match, much better than he’s been playing. He stayed home more, rather than getting caught up the pitch. We do miss his long, attack-starting passes from the back, but Shakhtar were playing much too tight to allow those kinds of balls. Did his job whenever called upon.

Piqué: 4. And he almost got another point deduction for continued casualness. He has to play like a man. That header was almost as good as a pass to the defender, making a difficult job for Puyol that much more so. He was in position, which is the worst part. He just screwed up, plain and simple. I still think he’s the business, but he’s too erratic right now.

Yaya: 7. You could almost tell that he knew how the match was going to be called. When fouled, he just kept going, knowing the call wasn’t going to happen. He also made some excellent defensive plays, saving Alves’ bacon on a couple of occasions. Just as I was thinking, we need our truck to stop their truck, along came Yaya. We needed him today, for sure. He brought what stability we had in the midfield.

Keita: 4. There was a rumor that he was on the pitch. I’m not believing it without evidence, however. Did he suck down some punk juice before the match? Be a physical presence, dude. Look to your teammate from Cote d’Ivoire for inspiration. If Keita plays as he should have, we have much more control of the middle of the pitch.

Xavi: 5. Yes he picked it up in the second half, and made the pass for the go-ahead goal. But man, he looked tired. Again, I thought that he shouldn’t have played, and had we had Hleb, he probably wouldn’t have. He was still very smart and calm with the ball, but his usual movement and pin-point passing were mostly absent. The Messi ball late was exquisite. Easy, but also easy to screw up.

Iniesta: 7. SPF45 came to play. He did some of his disappeaing stuff, but that was mostly because he had no options, as he was often the only player on the move or showing any intent with the ball. I can’t believe he got a yellow for diving. He was cleared out for sure. Not sure what that shitebag ref was thinking on that call.

Henry: 4. He has to take that chance. If you want the center and it’s given to you, take the chance and keep the spot with hard work and excellence. He held the ball too long in general, and let the Shakhtar defense neutralize him. Where was the pace that was on such fine display against Espanyol? Still in Espanyol, that’s where. Still not sure why he started this match.

Eto’o: 4. When he wasn’t playing center, he was just running around out there, with no purpose. He is making more of an effort to play with Henry, but still. He needs to get a lot better. His first touch is so erratic. And would somebody, anybody tell me how he didn’t score that goal? It was almost like he ran over the ball. Every time he gets the chance to bury Henry and seize the position once and for all, he has a match like this one.

Substitutes

Messi: 9. Hell. Freakin’. Yeah! The late brace does the business. He was precisely the kind of player needed to break Shakhtar loose–one that is slick and wriggly, and able to glue the ball to his foot. When the shot came in from Krkic, he was the only player to move to the goal mouth in case the shot was spilled, something offensive players should always do. He really ripped it up, and what a killer finish on that second goal. It looked easy, but it sure wasn’t. The Force is strong in this one.

Krkic: 6. Nice cross, lots of great work and slippery as a lubed-up eel, he really threw the Shakhtar defense off balance. He made a real difference with his presence, as he was almost always looking to move forward rather than playing the lateral ball that gave the defense a chance to track it and keep its shape. Great scoring chance that he couldn’t take, but those will come. He, like Messi, was all movement and offensive intent.

Gudjohnsen: 5. He worked hard, and got in the way. And really, the humor value of having an actual, moving monument out there is not to be underestimated. You could see him trying to move to some balls, but he just wasn’t fast enough. Not even close. Shakhtar must have loved to see him come onto the pitch. But he does chase the ball around, which unsettles defenders.

Guardiola: 6. He had to have known better with that wishful thinking starting lineup. Messi was a no-brainer substitution. So was Krkic. If Krkic starts, along with maybe Pedro, we can punish Shakhtar for their impetuousness, and don’t need any late heroics.

I’m a little worried about the Atletico match. Eto’o, Henry and Xavi all looked exhausted. They probably fly back tomorrow, which gives basically two days to recover for a very difficult match on Saturday. What helps is that they also played today, so we should be on even footing. We’ll see.