Real Mallorca 1, Barca 1, a.k.a. “Peeeeennntoooo!”

By: Kevin | March 4th, 2009

There he is, kids, practicing his mad ninja skills just in case the Jedi mind trick didn’t work, Jose Manuel Pinto, who deserves a nickname of his own. So the contest is open, boys and grills. For today, however, let’s just say that his nickname is Man of the Freakin’ Match.

Kinda long, but it has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

I’m going to be brief with the yammering, and let the points do a lot of the talking, mostly because there really wasn’t a lot to say about this match. We knew that Mallorca couldn’t beat us and we played like it, kinda half-assedly sashaying about the pitch, to a degree that mightily vexed His Yayaness, who was acting almost captain-like in getting in people’s faces, demanding better and quicker play.

After some early pressure, we began to rest and Mallorca began to have life. Problem is, they didn’t know what to do with it. Yes, they got a goal, and Keita, Alves and Pique should be clubbed for it. You just don’t allow a lofted pass to get to a player uncontested. Further, you don’t allow the player to control the ball with token pressure, nor do you allow him to pass it to a man who is right there in front of you. And of course, you compound the error by seeing the shooting lane, and not blocking the only option the player had. For all of these things, you three get the Special Prize.

And I don’t have to tell anybody where it’s headed, right?

The lineup was interesting, with Pinto, Alves, Pique, Puyol, Caceres, Yaya, Keita (rumor), Busquets, Iniesta, Hleb and Krkic.

We all had the same thought, right? “Where the midfield runs at, yo?” Iniesta replied “Right here,” as he almost got a goal less than 5 minutes in with a Messi-like run. But his shot wasn’t beating an on-form Lux today. No way, no how.

Then the match degenerated into about what we all expected: a foul-fest, as Mallorca realized that they couldn’t win, so kicking was the option.

For us, this was a crappy match. We had the chance to play ourselves out of the doldrums with a fine performance, and we phoned it in, essentially playing 8 on 11, thanks to the absences of Keita, Busquets and Alves.

Ray-Ray kept blaming the conditions but really, I think that the bad passing, lack of runs and none of the typical overlapping, interlocking play had nothing to do with the conditions. We’re a team that is damaged right now, who faced the exact right team that we needed to face, namely a team that couldn’t beat us. And we tied, moving into the Copa final against a surprising Athletic Bilbao team, who beat Sevilla as they would have beaten us today, like a rented mule.

And with that….

Team: 4. Below average play on a day when it should have excelled with ease. Time after time an attacker charged toward the box, with zero support, or late-arriving support. Say what you will about Eto’o and Henry, but you don’t have to invite them to a party in the box.

Guardola: 7. Made the right substitutions, and came out with the right back line, undone by “Tiger Style” Caceres. His Marquez sub stabilized the back line, in effect showing cognizance that we weren’t going to score a bunch, so we’d better stop them from scoring.

Pinto: 8. I don’t even have to visit the match comments thread to know what everyone is saying. “Start him next Liga match.” Right? Right? His Jedi Mind Trick on the penalty taker resulted in the match-winning moment. T’was a great save, and something that Valdes would nevereverevereverevereverevereverevereverevereverevereverever have done. Never. The player, when he saw that gesture, simply had to hit the ball in that direction. Pretty comprehensive awesomeness. He’s flailing at balls that he needs to take, but that’s something that comes with reps.

Alves: 3. The rest will do him good. He was awful today. He’s becoming Route 1 for attacks, as well. When he isn’t raising hell on the offensive end, his defense becomes a liability, as it was today. Notice that he’s starting to not get calls, because of being the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Expect it to continue until he mans up. Of late, he’s been slow and out of position too much, easily being outdone by quick wingers with good ball skills. Thankfully, La Liga doesn’t have many of those, right? Riiiiight.

Pique: 7. Good match from Lank today, including a great tackle in the box that was all ball. Won every header that came near him, and his ambitious upfield pass off the volley forced the bad clearance that broke Messi loose for the tying (and match-sealing) goal.

Puyol: 6. Our Captain tried, but was having an off match, including getting smoked by Keita (their Keita, who actually showed up) on a spin move. Thankfully, Webo was offside.

Caceres: 5. Was shaping up to be our best defender, doing a pretty good Abidal impersonation with range, pace and combativeness. Man, does he like to get in a player’s face. Then came the unfortunate, studs-up challenge that was a deserved straight red. He was rocking the house until then, and deserves more outings.

Yaya: 7. Strong match in the holding position, with smart positional play. He was often the only man making a run, like the guy on the battlefield saying “rally behind me!” He doesn’t run as much as rumble. He played a fine match as our only real defensive presence in midfield.

Keita: 2. He was there. I know he was there. He started, and I think I saw him running around. I’m pretty sure. Although now that I think about it, maybe I’m not so sure. Hmmm….

Busquets: 2. I know that he was out there, and it wasn’t pretty. He was terrible today, doing everything wrong except for drawing fouls, which he proceeded to sell even harder by writhing about as if his ass was being flossed with red-hot barbed wire. Well looky here, Legacy. You wanted the man-sized contract. Now play like a man. Pass after pass went awry, every time he stuck his boot in the way he does instead of getting into position, the ball went to a Mallorca player. Just awful.

Hleb: 4. I stick up for you, and this is how you repay me? Yes, he had some excellent positional play and a few exceptional passes, including one that sprung Alves on a run that he should have done better with. But overall, he just didn’t have it today. The doubters are picking up steam. I still wouldn’t have minded seeing him in that Xavi position. Perhaps another time.

Iniesta: 6. Started out like gangbusters, then gradually disappeared, right after that hard foul. Did anyone notice that he was rubbing his thigh in almost the exact same spot it was injured two weeks ago? I did, and it sent chills down my spine. He still needs someone to play off of, and he just didn’t have it. He’s a great player, but he can’t control those box runs like Messi can.

Krkic: 1. The Kid was horrible today, always going a dribble too far. Did he even hav a shot on goal? He got the starting chance that everyone was saying that he deserved today, and his movement was off, his passing was off, his runs were off, he was just off. He seems to think he’s Henry, getting the ball on the wing and trying that same drag and dive bomb past the defender. But without Henry’s pace, he just loses the ball. I want to believe….

Substitutes:

Marquez (for Iniesta): 7. Strong positional play that stabilized the back line at a time when things were looking a bit dire. This was a better showing from the Kaiser.

Messi (for Krkic): 8. He brought energy and fire to the side, bringing that right side to life. And what a great goal. A lot of his score is based in intangibles, but you could see the whole side get some bounce in their steps when he came on. He was a bit selfish today, but he was surrounded by crap so it was hard to blame him. If I’m Messi and my two options on the break are Hleb and Yaya, I’m taking it myself.

Xavi (for Hleb): incomplete. Not sure what was said to Hleb as he was coming off, but it seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. A nice little run-out to get the blood flowing, and not much more.

So. It’s on to the Copa final, and we can even scout our opponent this weekend. How ’bout that?