You see, they don’t just hand out stadium nicknames like bits of corn candy on Halloween – well, unless you’re Guti, whose nicknames aren’t suitable for this PG-13 rated blog anyway. Particularly when the nickname happens to be ‘The Cathedral’. And that’s exactly the nickname for that bit of grass that Athletic Bilbao play on.

It’s a venerable pressure cooker, just not the kind you’d see Gordon Ramsey or Wolfgang Puck using. Add in 22 players, a bit of football, and several thousand sprinkles of fans and you’ve got yourself a tidy way to spend a couple of hours on a Saturday night.

The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao. Technically a more fitting sporting venue for Saturday’s match.

But over the past several years, Barcelona has acclimatized to the Basque pressure cooker…

Since 1999, Barcelona has notched 7 league wins out of 11 matches at the San Mamés. A pretty dashing record, most would reckon.

However, that pressure will get you in trouble if you’re head’s not on straight. Athletic always promise a lot of attitude and sweat for three points during nights in the San Mamés but it appears Barcelona have devised a reasonable formula to extract points and it largely involves doing the same old ; Establishing their brand of football and being unfazed by the hustle and bustle of the red and white striped men.

Like other stadiums that double as pressurized cooking equipment (see: Sanchez Pizjuan, Calderon, Reyno de Navarra, and The Bernabeu), the key is to not flinch at the surrounding atmosphere and speedy impetus of the opposition because they’ll never forgive you if you do.

But this clearly isn’t a problem because Barcelona are in like Flint when it comes to success in San Mamés. So good that it’s all rather academic.

Sport.es recently posed a query on whether or not Barcelona fans and masochistic Madrid fans who visited the sport journal site trusted Maxwell in the absence of the Abidal – a man who has the perfect physical physique to dismantle many counterattacks but apparently not perfect enough to avoid injury.

A whopping 89% have given the thumbs up to Maxwell for the next three weeks.

After a bit of research, it was identified that the 11% who did not approve of Maxwell were all part of the Abidal family. All of them except for a certain Josep Guardiola.

So far, Maxwell has made 4 appearances as part of the starting eleven in La Liga. Granted, the Barcelona chapter for Maxwell’s career is quite early (or quite late, you truly can never tell) but you do wonder if his offensive fluidity could be put to a bit more use. Especially since Abidal’s offensive toolkit consists of breaking the 40 meter dash time as he sprints to the endline. An extremely devastating weapon if only he’d do it with the ball.

Unimpressed with Maxwell, Josep coerces left back extraordinaire Dalai Lama to come out of retirement for the remainder of the season.

And with key fixtures against Inter and Real Madrid upcoming, one wonders if Maxwell will tactically fit into the tinkering of Josep, who may prefer Puyol as Abidal’s deputy.

But I may be guilty of thinking ahead because during the entire thought process that went into creating this article, all 4 minutes and 33 seconds of it, I could not think of a convincing enough reason for Maxwell to not get the nod for the match at San Mamés, which included ruling out the possibility of successfully genetically cloning a left sided Dani Alves.

Aside from the underused Maxwell, there’s been a minor injury crisis in the locker room, no doubt the work of multi-thousand Irish fans who’ve all recently converted to Voodoo – and it certainly wasn’t to wish a certain someone good luck either.

Ibrahimovic maintains a strain in his left thigh, ruling him out for the weekend and casting a few clouds of doubt on his availability for the critical matches next week. Abidal has become the unfortunate carrier of the H1N1 virus, which may have also maligned Toure, who is suffering from symptoms and a complete diagnosis is expected before the match. This sees Jonathan Dos Santos sneak into the traveling troupe.

Additionally, question marks remain on whether the notorious Henry has the fitness to go three full matches with such regularity.

What seemed like a nice buffet of options to choose from several days ago has turned into a selection that’s noticeably smaller in size, weight, age, but not hair (Thanks, Puyol and Chygrynskiy).

All bets are off on the availability of 16 year old Iker Muniain for Athletic because you should all be rooting for him to recover his fitness and scribble his own name onto the first eleven, which likely won’t be happening. A peculiar player to look out for as time goes on. Iker currently joins Toquero, Llorente and Mikaelsson as the four players who are fitness pending for the match on Saturday night, but Toquero and Llorente may still get the nod from Caparros.

Now, given the handsome recent decade record of results for Barcelona at the Cathedral, most will be reserving their fingernails for the visits of Inter and Real Madrid. Except for Maxwell who may run out of fingernail real estate to nervously bite on by the time Josep names his starting eleven for Saturday night.

Predictions to lose money by:

• The Score: Athletic Bilbao 0 – 2 FC Barcelona
• The Scorers: Messi, ‘Golden Boot’ Keita
• Wildcard Bonus: Thierry Henry with two handball assists
• The XI: Valdes, Maxwell, Pique, Puyol, Dani Alves, Busquets, Keita, Xavi, Bojan, Pedro and Messi

And what did this day of friendlies and World Cup playoffs leave us? Well, an image I wouldn’t have believed possible, for a start.

“Yes, it was a handball,” said Thierry Henry of this. No kidding, Tití. No. Kidding.

Thierry Henry (and Eric Abidal, who is nursing his thigh injury in Barcelona) got their golden World Cup Ticket thanks to a highly-questionable move by our French striker, who handled the ball (twice, if you at the video closely) to set a goal that Arsenal’s William Gallas slipped past the Irish goalkeeper. My theory is that he had his eyes closed and that the ultra-tight new French kits had cut off blood flow and feeling in his upper limbs, so he really didn’t realise that he was playing volleyball for a moment. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

“I will be honest, it was a handball. But I’m not the referee,” said Thierry after the match, shrugging in infinitely French fashion. “It’s a f***ing disgrace,” said… oh, no, wait, wrong one. “The hand was so obvious, we’re disgusted. FIFA absolutely did not want Ireland at World Cup,” fumed Robbie Keane in response. The Irish have a good reason to complain, but… c’est la vie (see what I did there?).

On other, less red-card-worthy news… oh, no, forget it. We’re still thinking of red cards, particularly of the one that Pehlivan got yesterday during the first half of the friendly game between Austria and Spain (in the same stadium that saw La Roja win their European Cup last year) for a foul on our dear Sergi Busquets. Our midfielder gave as good as he got, however, but after he was subbed off in the second half he was seen with a pack of ice firmly held to his knee. I’d be grateful if you could stand up now and perform the solemn Please, Dear Gods of Football, No Friendly Injuries dance. Thank you.

I think I’m getting used to the sight of Barça players writhing in pain on the ground.

Now, if you’ve caught your breath from your vigorous dancing, let me tell you that Vicente del Bosque was kind enough not to play Piqué or Puyol, but Buquets, Xavi and Iniesta were in the starting XI. Don Andrés set the second goal for Villa to slip past the Austrian goalkeeper, Xavi lorded over the midfield, and Busi… well, Busi was not bad, fouling and backpassing to his heart’s content; to be honest, I’m happy that Del Bosque is playing him so much, because I think that way he can get more experience and make mistakes that hopefully he will not then repeat when dressed in blaugrana. Spain went on to win 1-5, with Busi being subbed off in the second half for Athletic’s Iraola, Xavi for Valencia’s Pablo H. and Iniesta for Sevilla’s Navas.

Oh, and before I forget, Chygrinskiy and Ukraine did not get into the World Cup, being knocked out on a match that a gritty Greece won in Donetsk, a match that our Jesus Christ Superstar lookalike didn’t play.

This makes it eleven Barça players that will be playing in South Africa next summer: Xavi, Iniesta, Puyol, Piqué and Busquets for Spain, Leo Messi for Argentina, Dani Alves for Brasil, Yaya Touré for Côte D’Ivoire, Thierry Henry and Eric Abidal for France, and Rafa Márquez for México. And, even though the list of countries is not going to change, we could sneak a further player in this list, if Vicente del Bosque listens to the screams of “Pinto Selección” that can be heard in some matches at the Camp Nou. No, I’m not joking… not about the screams, I’m not, but it’s our underrated (or overrated, depending on which side of the fence you’re sitting on) Víctor Valdés who is rumoured to have chances at *finally* being called for La Roja after Diego López’s latest disappointing performances. We’ll see.

Ah, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes?

And, on even happier news, we have the joyous return of Gabi Milito to the field! The Argentinean defender played a full 45 minutes of the friendly that Barça played against Bolívar (a Bolivian team) yesterday, and that a hodgepodge of first-team players and boys from the Juvenil B won 4-1. “It’s been a very special day,” said Gabi, who was watched from the stands by Txiki. “I’m making progress though I’m still in the recovery phase. I’m still not ready for a competitive match. How long? I don’t know yet but it won’t be long”. After 19 months laid up, Gabi, I think we can wait another few weeks to make sure you’re alright.

And with this, international break is over and is business as usual for Barça, who will start training today in the afternoon for our match against Athletic de Bilbao this weekend.

But wait, what is that I hear? Oh no! According to Mundo Deportivo, Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s ischiotibials seem to have given out and, pending on further medical tests, he seems to be in doubt not only for Saturday’s match, but perhaps also for our clashes agains Inter and Real Madrid. If you need me, I’ll be here in my corner, crying and holding onto my Leo Messi plushie.

Now what could that possibly have in it that’s relevant to Rafael Marquez?

Nothing. I made it up. I just needed a way to segue into the issue of his contract renewal without being overly harsh. I dig Marquez, for a couple of reasons: he’s one of the better long-range passers in the game, he’s tough, he has a breathtaking head of hair (deceptively important), he reminds me of Adrian Grenier (also more important than you might believe), and he’s been one of the long-serving members of the club to good effort and ability. In short, the man did his job and did it well, one or two seasons notwithstanding.

Recently, there’s been a fair bit of murmur surrounding his contract renewal and how it is, according to Marquez, a matter of ‘finding a time’ to sign it. Given his track record as a winner of nine trophies since his arrival from Monaco in 2003 – suggesting, albeit immaturely, that you could argue Barcelona’s recent success could be entirely attributed to the Entourage star look-a-like. I personally suggest you try arguing this point on message boards around the internet, but please be so courteous as to link me when you do. I’m always looking for a hearty laugh.

Should Barcelona be renewing his contract? Let’s see:

• Other central defenders at the club: the mountain that is Puyol; the slightly better looking mountain that is Piqué; the Riddler, wearing a suit adorned with question marks, Chygrynskiy; the ever-maligned Milito; and in reserve, Fontás and Muniesa – two men we all have high hopes for. Come the end of this season, Marquez might also find himself battling with Henríque for a spot in the starting eleven. That’s not even (until now, pedants) highlighting the on-loan Cacéres, who none of us believe will return.
• Though stalwart in his appearances last season, Marquez has been prone to more than the occasional error, even in good form. His gaff of Super Clasico proportions last season might have been deathly had Valdés not done his “I’m underrated, watch this!” dance and shattered Drenthe’s confidence. The season before that he was unbelievably poor, though largely attributed to personal issues, and this season he has been less than stellar but injured much of the time. So maybe I’m being a cruel bastard. If so, forgive me: years of listening to Morrissey tell me that life is miserable has paid its toll on my fragile gate.
• He’ll be 31 at season’s end. His injuries will carry on snickering maliciously from behind his knee-caps, and Barcelona will sigh every time they go into another heavy-weight fixture with Guardiola slinking into the dressing room, looking at Touré and saying, “So, how about it?”

I mean, GeeWiz! There’s definitely a case against a contract renewal. On the other gloved, rhinestone coated hand, there is this:

• Marquez, as I’ve said for years, “Brings the fucking game.” He’s tough. He’s an art form of nails coated in nitroglycerin who fights rabid pitbulls every morning just to snare enough meat for breakfast. When opponents begin to get grade-school bullyish on Barcelona, Marquez is never far from a crunching “Send him off, ref!” tackle to set the record straight, “This is Barcelona, and we don’t take your shit.”
• He is quality, and has been for six years. I can’t properly describe the sordid pleasure I derive from his on point cross-field passes, flicking his famously slicked hair as he does it, before back-stepping into the center of defense again, nonchalant-as-you-please.
• Versatile. He can play as a defensive midfielder, and can play it well. See his time as a makeshift libero for Mexico at the last World Cup. Stunning play all around.

(Woo-hoo! Tasty compilation for the undecided, coupled with gravelly rock star screaming and thrashing guitars to sway your opinion – as any good compilation ignoring the blurst of times should)

So, what’s the consensus? Yay or nay? Ahoy or “Get off my ship”?

Yaya Touré, the man who Inter, ManCity and Arsenal all seem to want (or so the rumours say), played the whole match in Cote D’Ivoire’s somewhat meaningless 3-0 victory against Guinea, seeing that they are already qualified for the World Cup.

Henry and Abidal were also on their starting XI as France scraped a 0-1 victory over Ireland, to start with the right foot their playoffs to make it into the World Cup. (ETA: I’ve just read Eric Abidal has left the French team claiming injury and won’t play on Wednesday… fingers crossed that it’s not serious!)

Alves came in the 63rd minute in Brazil’s friendly 1-0 victory against England; kudos to Dunga, who tried to play Dani and Maicon at the same time, and to our Man of Steel, who even had time to try one of his infamous shots from afar which, unsurprisingly, didn’t render him a goal.

And now for the real deal: the Spain-Argentina friendly, which gathered six, yes, *six* barcelonistas on the pitch.

I wouldn’t exactly call this “friendly”...

Puyol, Piqué, Xavi, Busquets and Iniesta were all on Vicente Del Bosque’s starting XI, while Leo Messi looked a bit lost and in need of companionship in the albiceleste.

Before five minutes had passed, Sergio Ramos had greeted former madridista teammate Gaby Heinze with a kick to the head, and it all went downhill from there. It was a really rough, intense match. We were on the edge of our seats as Villa and Heinze discussed handbags during the first half, as Coloccini belied his cherubic blond ringlets with frightening tackles, and DeMichelis bared his teeth and the studs of his boots. There were yellow cards, two PKs and, if the whole thing hadn’t been so ‘friendly’, I’m sure the referee would have sent Heinze or DeMichelis to have an early shower.

Puyol was his usual fantastic self during the first half, dealing with Messi and Higuaín as if they were wayward children that ought to be stopped from interrupting Uncle Iker from finishing his sudoku, but during half-time he walked to the bench and wrapped a huge icepack around his left knee, leaving all culés to whimper in desperation and Albiol to concede a PK to Argentina during the second half.

And so Leo Messi scored one past Íker Casillas, in what I hope is a rehearsal for the match of the 29th. OK, so it was only a PK, but it was a very nice PK, I’ll have you know.

Now, this is much friendlier... I think Leo is asking Xavi and Puyi to adopt him!

Iniesta was fantastic throughout the night, even as Heinze, Coloccini and the rest of the Argentineans did their best (and, by their best, I mean of course moves that ought to be kept for the wrestling ring) to stop him, until he was subbed off near the end of the match. Xavi was calm, collected and the owner of the midfield, and he even played captain after Casillas was taken off in the midst of an ovation to celebrate his 100th international cap. Piqué, although less adventurous than he usually is during matches with Spain, did everything and more to stop the Argentinean strikers. Busquets was… well, “friendly” towards Leo Messi during the first half (he got a well-deserved yellow) and then towards Tévez near the end of the match, but he played well and allowed former-Red Xabi Alonso to move forwards to score the first.

Messi tried his best (he gave a pass to Higuaín that was a thing of beauty, shame the madridista was offside), but the ball barely got to him. When I saw him in his own half, doing a throw-in, I realised how hopeless his situation was. Still, he scored a goal and looked rather relieved when he was subbed off late in the second half (the Spanish public even gave him a round of applause, generous souls that they are).

There’s still matches to be played next week (Spain will play a friendly against Austria, Brazil faces Oman, and France and Ukraine still have the return legs of their playoffs), so let us hope that all our boys return to Barcelona on Thursday in good health and good spirits, to prepare a match that promises to be anything but easy: we face Athletic de Bilbao next Saturday!

Yesterday’s was one of those pretty, gleeful matches that culés (and football aficionados everywhere) can only sit back and enjoy while they happen, and then go to hunt for the highlights and watch again and again. And it wasn’t because Cultural Leonesa wasn’t trying, far from it.

The match started in a sombre note, as the boys jumped on the pitch wearing black bracelets to keep a minute of silence for the death of Robert Enke, who played for us in the 02/03 season and who will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, Robert Enke.

Pep, making use of his usually unfathomable methods, rolled out a team that seemed far stronger than the situation warranted, with a back four that wouldn’t be out of place in a tough Liga fixture: Pinto, Alves, Puyol, Márquez, Maxwell, Busquets, Iniesta, Dos Santos, Pedrito, Bojan and Jeffren.

The presence of Alves, Puyol, Busquets and Iniesta, all of whom are travelling today to join their respective national teams, seemed to give a clear message of “we are going to take this match seriously”, and it seemed to be a message that Cultural took to heart, as their starting eleven (Calzado, Cerveró, Roberto Carlos, Salva, Segovia, Pereira, Yahvé, Chema Mato, Jito, Denis and Ferrán) went out to play with dignity and good sense.

Whatever this image seems to indicate, the Cultural players weren’t on a sightseeing expedition; especially not Diego Calzado (seated, right) who had a lot of work to do.

For the first fifteen minutes, Barça had a staggering 81% possession, but it mostly seemed centred in endless passing between the midfielders and the defence, with Jeffren occasionally trying a run or two and Alves being indefatigable and inventive on the right, especially when combining with Pedrito. Jonathan “Johnny” Dos Santos (apologies to the naming purists, but I think Gio shouldn’t be the only one on the family with a catchy nickname) also had a couple of chances, playing well with Iniesta and almost wearing a big neon sign reading, “Watch me play, Pep!”.

Cultural, however, were not ready to give up. Even if none of their players really believed in an epic remontada, they were definitely interested in giving a good show to those of their people who had travelled from León to watch them play in the Camp Nou. Puyol had the chance to show off a couple of times (once just missing a shot on goal that could have been the first), and Pinto was steady on his feet when Jito, Ferrán or Slva got close to him (mostly after slipping past Maxwell).

Barcelona, after performing endless, virtuoso rondos round the midfield, seemed to decide that further was better, and Dani, Iniesta and Bojan tried shots from afar, to avoid the hassle of the competent Cultural defence; rosy-cheeked Diego Calzado, though, had a good day and his reflexes were pumped to the max, denying Bojan, Jeffren and Pedrito some chances before the half-time.

The impression the team gave during those first forty-five minutes was good (overall possession somewhere in the 70%, shots at goal, solid defence), but not outstanding. Bojan seemed a little listless and Pedrito lost himself amidst Cultural defenders on occasion, with Jeffren looking the liveliest of the three.

This all changed, however, in the second half. Pep must be a damn fine motivational-speaker, because Bojan came back onto the pitch on fire, showing it with a fine bit of finishing after a cross from Jeffren (stemmed from a pretty, pretty cross by pretty, pretty Maxwell) to score the first goal after only eight minutes into the second half. Jeffren had a chance a couple of minutes later, but it was again Bojan, with a delicious shot in an almost impossible angle, who scored the second and celebrated it with almost as much passion as Thierry Henry had celebrated his goal against Mallorca this weekend.

There you go, kitten! Happy now? Feeling vindicated?

The match was pretty much sentenced by this point, and both Barça and Cultural seemed to come to a happy agreement to just give the best possible show to the few fans that had braved the cold to be there. Pep collaborated with this, bringing in Fontàs for Jeffren (“Huh?”, we asked. “A fullback for a striker? Another one of your little experiments, Pep?”) and Messi for Puyol a minute later. Why he couldn’t sub Fontàs in for Puyol and Messi for Jeffren, like any sensible person would have done, I attribute to his superior ability to turn anything into a mindgame (or maybe because Jeffren’s leg was a bit iffy and Fontàs had been warming up longer than Messi).

Then Cultural subbed out Yahvé and Jito (their only goalscorer) for Suárez and Richar, and Pedrito celebrated by scoring off a very nice Messi&Iniesta move that let the goal perfectly set out for our Canarian striker to continue his amazing run of goals. And Messi wouldn’t be Messi if he tried to do better than anyone else on the pitch, this time with a gorgeous shot that curled into the upper corner of Calzado’s goal after the poor man, obviously a bit unnerved by having so many people running at him, gave a poor clearance.

Iniesta had been paying magnificently all night, and Pep rewarded him by taking him off at the 67th minute for Xavi. I had hoped to see another young’un make his debut, but our second captain celebrated his presence on the pitch after barely seven minutes with a wonderful header that became the fifth goal of the night.

By this time, the whole thing was a party. Calzado laughed like a little kid when he made yet another good save (and another, and another), the Cultural strikers had become more like midfield spectators, and there were jeers in the stands towards our nemesis, Real Madrid, who really could have used those fives goals in their own match.

Dani Alves, just to confirm that he is back to his Man-of-Steel ways, had the last chance of the match with a run, wiggle and shot that hit the post at the 89th minute, and the referee promptly stopped the game the very second the 90 minutes were over, undoubtedly thinking that enough was enough.

Five goals are enough, Dani. You can stop trying now. Feel sorry for the man in the pink shirt.

Cue much exchanging of jerseys and happy smiles. The Cultural Leonesa had played a good match, Barça had won and everyone was happy (except the folks of Real Madrid).

I’m not going to grade the team this time. I’d probably go overboard with the grades, accompanying them by notes such as “brilliant”, “fantastic” and “magnificent”. Let’s just celebrate Man of the Match Bojan for scoring twice and recovering his zest, Iniesta for playing in Xavi’s position in a way that Xavi would be proud of, Maxwell for finding his form during the second half, Dos Santos for a match that was as good as any of Busquet’s (I think we are going to see more of him when Keita and Yaya go to the Africa Cup), and the Cultural goalkeeper, Diego Calzado, for a damn fine match.

And let’s hope that the international break is kind to us and lets us keep this spark for our next Liga match, the 21st, against Athletic de Bilbao, because with their recent results, the Leones are going to be damn hungry.

Here, have some highlights to tide you over international break and put a smile on your face:

And that someone will be Pedrito, probably, because he wants to show us that he can score in every single match Pep lets him play. And Pinto and his Magical Braided Ponytail (TM), because otherwise he might as well turn fulltime musician. And… and…

International break is a nightmare, people.

Henry and Abidal have already left for Ireland, to make a stand with the French NT in the playoffs, Chygrynskiy has flown home to do the same with Ukraine against Greece, and Touré has left to play with Cote D’Ivoire, even though they’ve already have their World Cup Golden Ticket.

There’s something missing from this picture. Something like... well, players.

And that’s just the official matches. Because yes, then we have the friendlies on the weekend, and even though the players will still be in Barcelona tomorrow, seeing that most of them will be playing on Saturday, I don’t expect Pep to push them all onto the pitch (or perhaps he will; after the last match, I don’t think I can ever guess what he’s thinking).

Five Barça players have been called up for the Spanish NT to play meaningless, injury-prone games, also known as friendlies: Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets, Puyol and Piqué. One has been called for the Argentinean NT (and their match against Spain on Saturday is going to be a joy to see): Messi. Alves is going with Brazil to play against England and Oman in the Middle East. Even puppy-like Gai Assulin has been called up by the U-19 Israeli NT!

And just in case this wasn’t enough, on the injury list, we have Keita, who will be out for ten days and will thus save himself a trip with Ghana, and our dear Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who hurt himself playing against Mallorca and will not be available to play with the Swedish NT, even if he wanted to, which he is not so sure about.

So, who’s left?

Well… Pep is already calling in the reinforcements from the Barça Atlètic team; Johnny Dos Santos, Fontàs and Oriol Romeu (nice name, but I have no idea who he is, to be honest… wait, the Barça site informs me he’s a defensive midfielder, which is nice) trained today with the big boys, and there are more youngsters available, if need be.

Bojan is, I assume, ready and willing to take part in what was traditionally (meaning, “as of last year”) “his” competition and try to steal back the spotlight that Pedrito has been basking in lately. Maxwell and Márquez are staying home too. Jeffren can play rightback… oh, wait, no, he can’t.

Bojan’s attempts to convince us he’s tough enough to play might work better if he didn’t look like a kitten starved for attention...

And I wouldn’t mind seeing Guardiola in shorts and a blaugrana shirt again, to be honest. What’s that you say? The rules say no? Damn…

So, Pep’s list is: Valdés, Pinto, Puyol, Piqué, Márquez, Fontas, Alves, Maxwell, Romeu, Dos Santos, Busquets, Iniesta, Xavi, Pedrito, Messi, Bojan and Jeffren.

And my proposed line-up reads like:

————————-Pinto————————–
–Alves—-Márquez—Fontás—Maxwell—-
—-Busquets— Dos Santos—- Iniesta—-
———-Pedrito——Bojan—–Jeffren——–

With Romeu making his debut in the second-half if things are going well.

Pep, in the meantime, has been saying that we must “play with maximum seriousness” (he doesn’t want no smiley people out the pitch, y’all!), and, as optimistic as usual, has warned us that “anything can happen” and that the first round of the Copa del Rey is “always very dangerous”.

Perhaps he should tell this to Cultural Leonesa’s goalkeeper, Diego Calzado, the man with the unenviable duty of keeping Pedrito from scoring, who has said (in news that Google Translator has turned into a hilarious piece of surrealism), that they will play Barcelona “with respect, but without fear” and that he thinks that the final score will be 2-1. That’s right, Cultural’s own goalie think they will lose; I know they’re not Alcorcón, but couldn’t he at least aim for a draw?

Me, I think we’ll win. 3-0, perhaps (Pedrito, of course, will net a goal, perhaps two, and let’s say Bojan follows Thierry’s footsteps and scores too).

Your predictions?

A solitary flag, claret and blue, stands where two lines meet. When it comes to Barcelona, a few keywords are in constant rotation: possession, eminence, Lionel Messi, brilliant, short (and yet the likes of Piqué, Chygrynskiy, Touré, Busquets, and Ibrahimovic tower over most), tiki-taka, Real Madrid, set-pieces (I can’t include any sort of formatting that would denote anxiety), and probably pornography. It is sometimes obscene to the stragglers how well Barcelona can play football.

And, at other times, it’s sometimes just as obscene how poorly they can play, considering.

Not that Barcelona played poorly last night against Mallorca, no. Rather, they played as if caught in the scaly grips of apathetic torpor. Barcelona controlled possession, but didn’t create much of it. Mallorca threatened throughout, and indeed managed to twice usurp the rights of Valdés to keep his sheets as clean as Mother Theresa’s. I would be disregarding the causation of this blog post’s oddly damning vibe if I weren’t to extrapolate on a few of the issues I have with Barcelona at the moment.

This set-piece malarkey, time and time again, is an irritant. There are many who learn from their mistakes, and Barcelona have in recent times done exactly that. But to concede sloppily at corners is something few professional football sides can excuse. There is no “But they’re so short!” reasoning to fall back upon this season; the players are static positionally, giving opponents all the impetus they need.

Often times the watchers of this side are quick to lambaste Valdés for his short-comings: sometimes he flaps at corners, occasionally he turkeys his clearances, and he has that arrogant air about him that people seem to despise. But he usually plays well for somebody who isn’t tested often. Not enough do we lambaste these players that leave him high and dry on set-pieces. Is there a remedy to this? Only training; repetition and situational practises ingrain a sense of movement in the squad and with Guardiola exponentially improving Barcelona’s threat at set-pieces, so should the side become stalwarts in defending them.

Cultural Leonesa, I believe, first gave us a glimpse of a fresh trident: the three musketeers of holding midfield. Touré, Busquets, and Keita began the match against Mallorca. This is one of few threesomes I’m not fond of. Not that the players aren’t talented individually – they are – but that the side suffers without a man versed in the art of distribution, of fluidity in movement and availability. We all enjoy seeing Touré in his forays forward and Keita with his surges into the area. Sometimes, we even forgive Busquets for his giving the ball away so often when he skeddadles around defenders with those spindly legs and draws petulant fouls from grown men.

But they are peripheral, complimentary in their qualities to the benefit of the side and lacking when deployed sans a Xavi, or an Iniesta. Am I being overly critical here, or are others like-minded? Do you enjoy the defensive trident, punctual in their occasional predictability (Keita) and infrequent indolence (Busquets)?

Chygrynskiy, given his early impressions, has been somewhat flat lately. I believe it is mostly a matter of time before the Ukrainian cements that starting position (and a happy birthday to him, by the by), with Marquez begging questions over the necessity of his recent contract renewal.

But now, faithful readers, this is not a deathly signal that the masses should start crying afoul of their esteemed club. With Barcelona (and The Smiths), there is a light that never goes out.

I have a friend, let’s call him A, and he dislikes Pedro. He doesn’t think he’s that good. To be fair, he’s probably right. Pedro has, however, been a stellar impact player, notching goals in five competitions this season. He padded that tally with two efforts against Mallorca, one composed and the other fortunate. The commentator said, “Pedro looks disappointed to be taken off,” with Messi waiting to enter, and I’m slightly ashamed to admit that I was also a little unhappy to see the lad leave the pitch. His efforts definitely deserve a mention.

Ibrahimovic il Magnifico. The man has a knack for inducing wonderment. Not only for his back-heel assist to Pedro on the opening goal, but for his general play. He has that physical ferocity around the area, winning these low-percentage passes and controlling with ease, but along with that he brings the rest of the stadium into the game. You can feel the Camp Nou lick their lips whenever the colossally talented Ibrahimovic is involved. It reminds me of the awe that was once afforded to a certain buck-toothed bloke. I feel Barcelona aren’t using him enough. My appetite for the Swede’s football has yet to be whet, and if he continues along (whilst adding a few more goals), I doubt it ever will be.

The maligned two – Messi and Henry – finally get themselves on the sheets for all the right reasons again. Thierry’s impassioned kick-the-goalpost celebration only emphasised his frustrations, both with injury and his lack of tangible output. The Argentine, although notching from the penalty spot, was brought on early (early, early!) in the second half and we can only hope this will do something for his confidence.

And Barcelona’s confidence, too.

We need another Zaragoza victory. We need to watch our team play and marvel at the pretty (and I don’t just mean Piqué), instead of seething over missed chances, wasted passes, and crosses that a few someones ought to be nailed to. We need to gather our wits, regroup, set a new plan and shake off the memory of the recent unfavourable results.

And Real Mallorca are coming for a visit. Tsk, tsk…

Sorry, guys! Nothing personal...

Last season, we played four times against Mallorca. The first leg, when they visited Camp Nou in January, was favourable to us by 2-1. Then we played the Copa del Rey semi-finals against them, beating them at home 2-0, and then getting away with a 1-1 draw when we visited Mallorca (thanks to Pinto and his Magical Ponytail). The last time we met them last season, we were nursing our Triplete hangover and allowed them to get away with a pretty meaningless 2-1.

Real Mallorca have won in the Camp Nou, though, more recently in that infamous 07/08 season, when they came back from a 2-0 to get away with 2-3 and the three points, thanks to Webo and Borja Valero, both of who will be on the pitch on Saturday.

Mallorca fans have chartered six planes to travel to Barcelona on Saturday; I don’t want to be mean, but I hope they fly back in a sulk.

Real Mallorca have only played in Primera for thirteen years, and they are usually a mid-table team, sometimes plummeting to flirt with the relegation places, but this season they’ve had quite a good run of form and they are currently fifth in La Liga, just one point behind Valencia and the Champions League places. So far, they have only lost against Sevilla (which is no shame, as Real Madrid will tell you) and against Sporting (which is slightly more puzzling); they drew against Atlético de Madrid and Villarreal, and have beaten Liga-newcomers Xerez and Tenerife, and also Getafe and Valladolid.

They have a quiet, unassuming goalkeeper who just happens to be quite good (Dudu Aouate), a striker who doesn’t get any headlines, but who consistently scores goals (Webo) and a solid, hard-working team. Just the kind of set-up we’ve been stumbling against lately. They also have a patient manager who has managed to rebuild his team time and after time, after his key players have been lured away by bigger teams, and who only spent an amazing 400,000 euros on signings this summer (even less that new-boys-on-the-block Xerez; I’m not even comparing it with our own or Real Madrid’s spending, because I might cry); for more information on the admirable Gregorio Manzano, read this article and marvel. The man himself said this morning that they are “not going to go for the individual marking” and that “Barça can win without playing well” (may the Gods of Football, fickle creatures that they are, hear you, Gregorio).

Pep wants to hypnotise you into forgetting these last few days and his recent questionable decisions; or he’s become a zombie; or he’s trying to stare down the mic. It’s hard to tell with him.

So, what should we do, I hear you ask, throwing your hands up in exasperation. Well, I have just the thing. Leave Xavi on the bench. Now, don’t scream like that, I can hear you from here and you sound like little girls who are having their pigtails pulled. Listen to me: Xavi is tired; Xavi has been playing too much; Xavi is not playing at his best level and that reflects on the overall quality of the team (which doesn’t mean I blame him for anything, mind you). Without Xavi on the pitch, the team will have to reorganise themselves, get a bit more involved in the midfield, and will perhaps get out of the rut they have fallen into.

And it’s not as if we’re lacking quality in the midfield, even without Xavi. Super-Yaya has been, well, superb all season, and hat-tricking Keita is not a slouch either. Now that Thierry Henry and Bojan are both available to play on the left, Iniesta can step back and try to impersonate Xavi instead of Messi (he might need a few UV-ray seasons first, though).

I would keep Messi on the pitch, though, even after his underwhelming performances lately. His problem is not that he’s tired, and making him unhappy by benching him is not going to help with whatever is bothering him. Let him play and try his best; in the worst of cases, he’ll stun the Mallorca defenders by running into them repeatedly, and free Ibrahimovic to do his thing.

Is that Pedrito’s name you’re muttering under your breath? Yes, I know, he’s been fantastic so far this season. But I’d rather bring him in as a sub for whatever striker is achieving less during the second half; he tends to shine in those situations, and let’s not forget that he’s probably going to have to play a full match on Tuesday, on our second Copa del Rey date with Cultural Leonesa.

So, my proposed line-up is:

——————Valdés———————
–Alves—-Puyol—-Piqué—Maxwell—
——————–Toure——————-
————–Keita——-Iniesta————
—-Messi—-Ibrahimovic——Henry—

With Bojan to play for Henry if our Frenchman is still not feeling up to playing the full ninety minutes (honestly, we need to play Lil’Bo more in Liga matches), and Pedrito to come in during the second half to regale us with a goal or two, if he is feeling generous.

Like it? Think I’m insane? Is your faith on Perfect Pep wavering? Want to give up on football and take up knitting as a hobby? Unwind in the comments!

Or at least, that’s what Pep wanted to have happen tonight. It didn’t quite turn out that way. Barcelona, traveling to the frigid unknowns of Municipal Institution Football Club Rubin Kazan and their home in Kazan. It was supposed to be a day of redemption, you know, from that game. We were going to plug away and break the deadlock on the frozen pitch, and we were going to applaud Pep for getting things right this time.

But then…..

?

The look. You and me both buddy.

Little went according to plan. Of course we had all the possession, 75% worth. We had nineteen shots, however only five were on target. . .not the best representation of our talent and ability. Rubin seldom threatened, and when they did, Valdes and company were up to the test. Pep’s relative inexperience (yes, just his second year at the helm here, and third overall as a manager) showed again, not introducing a substitute until the 82nd minute, and the only substitute at that! Inspirational half-time-Pep-talk looked to be just that coming out of the gates, but alas. . .nothing concrete came to fruition.

We came out in the second half a little more composed, and relaxed. We held possession in the Rubin Kazan 18 yard box for upwards of a minute at a time. That is pretty cool to watch. We did this two or three more times in the second half. Unfortunately we passed far too often around the box than into it. I am of the philosophy though that if you’re going to set up shop in front of the opponents end and pass around, you have got to pass into the box as well. I saw way too many times tonight we would pass around endlessly then attempt a cross where there was no one in position to receive it. We failed to stretch Rubin Kazan with width and as a result Ibra would be guarded with 2 or 3 defenders at once with every ball that came his way. Also, Daniel Alves’s crosses were horrendous to the tenth degree. I know he had just come back from injury and played the full 90 (well in to him for having an irradiated body impervious to fatigue) but he was definitely out of his element.

-6.03×10^2841226192394 were how effective Alves’s crosses were today.

This cluster fuck of a match almost turned out for the worst in the last 15 minutes of the game as a clearly tired Barça began being exploited by the fresh legs of the Kazan sub, Aleksandr Bukharov, who had come on in the 63rd minute, (take some notes, Pep) which nearly cost us the match. A couple glorious opportunities left much to be desired by their finishing with the end of the match coming near.
Valdes, Alves, DJ Pique, Puyol, Abidal, the Yayaminator, “Golden Boot Winner” Keita, Xavi, Messi, Iniesta and Ibrahimovic took the pitch as our starting XI. This selection pleased me, as it meant we had the steel of midfield in Keite and the width of Iniesta. But from the beginning, things went awry. Besides the post incident in the 2nd minute of the game from Ibra, little of note in clear cut chances were made. Keita was invisible. I saw him do absolutely nothing of note, except swerve a few shots well wide. Iniesta was having a hard time of it too on the pitch, not finding a rhythm.

Xavi is tired, and it showed tonight, again. Rest him, we have quality on the bench that cannot be Xavi, but they can be good enough to get the job done. We don’t need Xavi to set the tempo in a game like we had today, when the other team was coming out only to defend. Xavi isn’t going to send one of those wonderful through balls through 8 men stacked within 8 yards of each other.

This is a team, and we should be able to function without one, two or three pieces. This is not Xavi & Company, or Messi and Friends, this is FC Barcelona and dammit, we should be able to showcase the other talent sitting there when our main men aren’t getting it done. Pep’s substitutions (or lack thereof) are worrying. His stubbornness and pride hath got the best of him, although he may preach modesty and humbleness when confronting the press. We’re missing the fire of the year past. We didn’t want it enough, plain and simple. Complacency? Still too early to tell for sure, but the thought crossed my mind today during the match. This game was reeking of 2007/08 when we had similar games just like this one, all possession no substance.

Last season, I had the feeling of something special in the air, most of us felt it, no matter what. I do not feel that this year so far. Perhaps this will change with more games, but I am not convinced of a repeat Triplete (neither are most, I’m sure).

Of course, it didn’t help that in the second half Iniesta and Messi went from team players to “backyard-pitch-let’s-dribble-the-whole-team-by-ourselves” mode. Horrific passing decisions, which they incessantly persisted in making, in between three players. Rubin Kazan players ARE NOT GHOSTS, THEY ARE NOT TRANSPARENT. This frustrated me the most of anything in the match. There was an instance around the 65th minute where Messi dribbles past a player, then there are literally three Kazan players standing in his way, side by side, and he tried to pass between all of them! This was similar of what Iniesta did on the flank. It will never work! Stop trying! Look for teammates por favor. I know you are both game changers and on your day are the best players in the world, but you are surrounded by other individuals who are equally as talented as you are. Use them, it works wonders! There is a time and place for individual brilliance, and there is time for a concentrated let’s go rape them together mentality. And the lot of you put your wrong thinking caps on today.

Pictured: Where Ibrahimovic was in the second half. Wait a minute...

I must also mention Ibrahimovic. I feel bad for the guy. Active in the first half, denied by the post oh so early, and was up to his usual trickery early on. He had a splendid first half, and the second half he vanished. Ibracadabra for all the wrong reasons. It’s not his fault, mostly. As I just mentioned, the ball hogging of certain players and lack of service in general from anyone else saw Ibra just mostly stand around and contribute little. His responsibility then comes in, he should be demanding access to the ball. If the ball doesn’t come to you, go find it.

It’s still early in the season and we have a long ways to go. Match day 10 is this weekend against Mallorca. We’re severely hampered in our options though for the next two Champions League matches. We have to go all out in both games, whereas before the season began, we saw these last two fixtures as those possibly which we could power down a little bit and rest some of our key players. 5 points from 4 games, atrocious run, and this HAS to change against Inter and Kiev. We control our own fate, and Pep will make this abundantly clear in the coming weeks. We’ll be ok. Visca Barça.

PS My MEN of the match, Alves, Puyol, Keita. All three of whom did not wear long sleeves during the match today. the Yayaminator was required to keep additional clothing on, for fear of releasing a nuclear explosion should any of his body be exposed to the elements. the Yayaminator’s body does not react well to anything other than the temperature of destruction.

You can feel the lack of satisfaction between Barcelona fans this season. It’s basically a result of high expectations. The satisfaction stocks rise and fall on weekly bases the same as the team performance varies. Every game has its own story, but still there are common denominators between all the matches Barcelona played this season, that is rooted to the team performance last season as well. This post is a preview for The Champions’ league game against Rubin Kazan. But make no mistake, it’s linked to the performance since the first Liga game and will have an impact on the fans expectations for the rest of the season. That’s why I will start with a general overview and the more I approach the end of the post the closer I will get to the mission in Kazan as we will end up with a solid base to evaluate the current situation, starting line ups and tactics. Besides, I hope it will help in setting criteria to measure performance regardless of the games results which has to do a lot with luck sometimes, and the opponent’s quality as well.

Back to the future

That was the most popular selection for last season. Messi sliding more to the center opening the flank for the Brazilian train to move forward acting as a right midfielder/wing. Iniesta, in order to avoid sandwiching Xavi between him and Messi, slips a bit to the left to link with Henry and give him the go to cut into the box and get advantage of Messi and Eto’o movement leading to destabilizing the opponent defense. All that turned to get the best out of every player and created the destruction machine we’ve witnessed and enjoyed.

Yet it was not all roses, even though the season success makes it a bit whiney to note the defects of the past. But to serve the subject, I will brief some of the last season unpleasant bugs:

1) Whenever we were desperately in need for a target man in the box, we failed to fulfill that need. Eto’o for all his goods is not the medicine. Henry is much better, but there was no possibility to play him as a striker because Eto’o can’t really operate on the left flank nor it was possible to bench the Cameroonian or substitute him when needed because there was always the risk of destabilizing him–>the dressing room–>the team performance during the season.

2) Alves and Xavi dependency was not something we suffered simply because they played almost all the games without sweating. But we always had the anxiety of the “What if” conditional nightmare.

3) Lack of rotation: At the beginning of last season while the expectations were as low as the moral after a disastrous campaign, Pep was open for adventurous attempts. He introduced the unknown Busquets, made tactical innovations and applied the great rotation policy which made all Barcelona fans confused and unable to predict who will actually play and who will be benched. He even inspired Barcelona transfers blog to start a competition between the fans to guess Pep selection, and it was too hard to be won- at the beginning. The team enjoyed a great string of victories against the strongest rivals and broke the scoring record on weekly bases boosting the expectations and the demands. That’s when Pep started to think twice before deciding a selection. He cut down the rotation mechanism and started selecting the obvious options that the majority of the fans label as being the strongest. Fatigue became the daily subject, we dropped points like a waterfall and we pushed the starters to the edge to an extend that in the match we played against Man Utd – the last match that worth to mention- we had to reengineer the selection to fit the players available. I was hoping that this game will be enough for a lesson. If Sylvinho can play against Manchester the way he performed, then he can play against at least half the liga teams. He didn’t. And we can say the same about Caceres if we take his international career in consideration. Hleb is doing well where he is now the same as he performed before he moved to Barcelona. Will that make him a key player at Barcelona? Not necessarily, but at least he could have played against Almeria. After Hammering Bayern at the Camp Nou, it wasn’t suicidal to use Keita instead of exhausted Iniesta, right? Hopefully the point is clear by now.

4) The vacuum tunnel. Each and every time we played against a team that can generate quality counter attacks we had troubles. The problem starts when Alves, Iniesta and Xavi advance to the edge of the box backing Messi, Eto’o and Henry. In return, the three defenders position themselves along the half line. That leaves a wide landscape for Yaya to patrol through. Yaya for all his goods is not a natural Defensive midfielder, but more a central midfielder who is always tempted to contribute offense wise rather than sticking to the basics and priorities of being a midfield libero in the first place then thinking of how far he can contribute in the offense operations. He positions himself closer to the top of the vacuum tunnel to support the offense rather than the middle to balance his offense contribution with his defensive coverage role. The moment we lose the ball the opponent generates counters, slide through the midfield and create threat. The quality of Yaya helped most of the time recovering the fragility of the system, more than avoiding it. Also he earns the credit of improving his discipline as he is no more dribbling through the opponents and loses the ball in dangerous positions. If you watch Yaya performance since we signed him till January 2009, you will notice a massive improvement (that’s one of the reasons I always demand patience when it come to Busquets). But still, even a supernatural defensive midfielder will not be able to close the Vacuum tunnel alone. More about that later in this extended ramble.

5) I can list more remarks like Delayed or unused substitutions for example, but I will only focus on the points I need to link to the current season, and the following game.

Are we better or worse this season?

This summer, we solved some of the defects but still struggling to overcome some other challenges.

1) We bought a player who can play in the box and on the flank as well. Henry will enjoy a great season if he remains fit. He will be seen in the box more often, and if last season he scored for fun though being there occasionally, this season he will buy an apartment right there facing the keeper. Ibra in return will be able to create more wholes in defense by stretching it to the left pulling the defenders one after another using his dribbling skills and accurate quality crosses and assists. Henry-Ibra switches will play a deciding factor this season, If it happened.

So far it didn’t click well. As a new player, Ibra needed time to understand his teammates as well as they needed time to understand him. His understanding with Messi went smoother which forced Henry to stay wide on the flank while Messi and Ibra operate in the middle. That’s not the best role for Henry. But it will only need more time and fewer injuries.

2) We also brought a player who can solve –at least partially- Alves dependency. Maxwell is a quality player and the best left-footed-cloning Alves I can think of and we can afford. In principle, Barcelona system needs an offense oriented fullback. Two offense oriented fullbacks at the same time cause a Giovani-Belletti mess. Without any offense oriented fullback we turn containable. Using Abidal and Puyol together as fullbacks has lot of advantages, but the tax is high. With Alves or Maxwell on the flank, we don’t only open the field wider, but they also create more headache for defense as they can always cut to the edge of the box and shoot. Even when they don’t do it, the opponent will be always aware that they can. When was the last time Abidal took a shooting attempt? Adding to their accurate crosses (Not lately for Alves), Maxwell and Alves are also good being involved in the playmaking and offense build up. It’s not only a matter of receiving and passing back. It’s the movement and flair, ideas and creativity. Neither Puyol nor Abidal can match the two Brazilians in that department. The playmaking chain that contains Messi-Xavi-Iniesta-Alves/Maxwell creates an automatic width behind Henry/Keita and Ibra and drives them into the box. That’s why when Alves plays, Maxwell must not. But when Alves is not selected then Maxwell is a must. Unless if the fullbacks will operate defensively and give a chance for the rest of the selection to do the offense job. To be continued…

Xavi dependency is still there as well, and we are not doing any attempt to overcome it. It’s a corner stone the opponents use to contain Barcelona, and I believe we can solve it with some bravery, creativity and patience.

3) Talking about lack of rotation moves us closer to Kazan game. Lack of rotation was the key factor for us losing the game. Barcelona plays a kind of full-court-press that demands astronomic fitness level. The quality of pressing gains us the ball closer to the opponent area and vice versa. That’s why the impact of fatigue on the performance declination raises exponentially both defense wise and offense wise. When the team mechanism decline, it allows the opponent to break through the initial pressure Barcelona players apply to gain back possession and if the opponent defender was able to play a single pass without being under any pressure then he can put his teammate in a clear position to penetrate through the vacuum tunnel without any resistance as Yaya will be a step behind when he is not fresh enough for his impossible mission to cover a China-size land. To recover, Players like Xavi, Iniesta, and Alves will need to do defensive transition more often running back all the way toward Barcelona defense territory. It happens too late most of the times as they are too tired to catch the tempo. Moreover, such kind of transitions back and forth turns to become a distractive process for the already exhausted players. The result is something like Alves gets injured while the rest are on the waiting list.

4) The Vacuum tunnel issue is a common point I mention every once and while. One solution is to ask Yaya to play more defensive than his taste. Pep already did so during the process of improving Yaya qualities as a defensive midfielder. But I believe the Yaya we have at the moment is the best Yaya we can demand. His offense qualities are too tempting to terminate just to secure defense. That’s why instead of modifying Yaya role we need to modify some of his teammate’s roles to create more efficiency and reliability for the tactical structure. To analyze this point it’s useful to analyze Rubin Kazan second goal against Barcelona. The direct responsibility was hooked around the neck of Marquez with some blames on Yaya and Bojan. But if you watch the goal again, it’s actually Abidal positioning and decision making that must be blamed in the first place if there is a single player to pick. Secondly, it’s a result of both a systematic error and a fatigue impact that’s happening quite often and leading to many identical scenarios:

Bojan playing a bad pass and Barcelona lose possession (Pause the Video at 0:03). Kazan had two players in the Vacuum area each on one side of Yaya. Abidal being in a weird position that we would forgive if he made a fast transition when we lost the ball, but instead he hesitated and prayed that Yaya get back the ball and save him from an exhausting run backward(0:003 to 0:06 Watch Abidal), something he wouldn’t have considered if he was fresh. If he would have made his run toward our backline as he should the moment we lost the ball, Kazan wouldn’t have scored. Yaya in return did a fast hopeless tackle (0:006). Those who played defensive roles in football can tell you what this tackle means. It’s the feeling that “it’s now or never!” the belief that:” I can’t get closer to the ball than this!”. And it happened in the opponent half in an unlikely successful position. And it happens where Kazan player needed to run while controlling the ball while all what Yaya needed is chasing him and then eat him alive. If Yaya was fresh he would have tracked the opponent and picked a better moment to tackle. He chose to tackle than to run. Abidal positioning and late response added to Yaya poor decision making and fatigue put the two Kazan forwards in a superior position against the two defenders we left behind. The rest was history.

Pause it at 0:06 for a moment to check the players positions then play it till 0:08 then pause again. You will notice how Kazan player was able to outrun both Yaya and specially Abidal with a diagonal move while Pique is marking the other player and Marquez creating depth and cover as he should while hoping that Abidal will track the second player. Marquez couldn’t put early pressure and expose the space behind him. He was in an impossible situation and carries a very light responsibility for the goal conceded.

Kazan game and the recipe to beat Barcelona.

How will Kazan play against Barcelona? For a Barcelona fan, this question is derived from the concerning question: “Is it possible for Kazan to beat Barcelona… Again?”

The common strategy to face Barcelona is to create a wall in front of the keeper and generate counter attacks. But even last season, I labeled this strategy as an “Avoiding loss” rather than “Seeking victory”. It will work when Barcelona players are not in their day, tired, and out of form. This Barcelona team that we have now can turn any team that park a bus into ruins in a good day. Especially after signing Ibra and after Keita finally got enough love from the Barcelona community for Pep to select him more often without the risk of loss-crises claims-Dressing room disturbance-bad cycle.

Wining against Barcelona needs a more daring approach:

1) Having the courage of playing two forwards to put pressure on Barcelona defense and defensive Midfielder (Yaya). Osasuna way.

2) Marking Xavi out of the game. (Chico way).

That may prove vital to pull Barcelona forwards a bit toward the midfield away from the offense third.

3) Generating counters through exposing the Vacuum tunnel by already planed and directed clearance from defense to midfield. And then redirecting the offense based on Barcelona selection. If the defense line consisted of Puyol-Marquez-Pique-Abidal then avoid the flanks and strike through the center or between the fullback and the Center Defender. If Alves played on the right then that’s where you need to attack. This way you will pull one of the center defenders out of position and secondly you will drag Alves back rather than making him feel secured going forward. It goes the same if Maxwell played on the other side.

Will Kazan Apply this strategy?

I mentioned after the game against Kazan that I was disappointed by their performance. They parked a bus in a very organized manner which is not a bad thing. But they showed the intention of avoiding big loss rather than trying to surprise. Ironically the surprise came without their intention. The nonsense ball clearance and unclear offense strategy was not something I predicted from the Russian champions after the good impression the Russian national team and clubs made on the European stage.

But it worked for them. So there is no wonder if they did the same again. Especially that they know Barcelona needs to win. If they can hold Barcelona for a draw in the first half, Barcelona will risk more going forward, and that’s when they can generate counters and steels the game.

If they can take the weather and field conditions to their advantage and played a bit more adventurous, they can win this game. If they parked the bus then a strike from the likes of Ibra or Keita will take advantage of the wet grass and open the game early. And then, it may become a scoring circus.

How will Barcelona beat Kazan?

Based on what I mentioned so far, we need some fixings that depend on the selection we start.

In this kind of selections I want to believe that Marquez will move forward to play as a holding midfielder covering Yaya and leaving Puyol-Pique-Abidal behind. This scenario means that Iniesta can open to the left and Henry can cut inside the box beside Ibra while Messi stretch the Kazan defense from the right. Marquez stay in the backline only if either Puyol or Abidal made a run on the flank while the respective forward (Messi/Henry) cuts inside. Abidal and Puyol must not contribute offense wise together at the same time leaving Pique and Marquez struggling with the opponents’ counters and pace. And if Kazan had a lone striker in the area without sufficient support then it’s enough to have one fullback with pique to mark him while the other fullback move forward and Marquez play a holding midfielder role. It’s more dangerous to have three defenders behind an open space guarded by a single player (Yaya) than having two defenders sandwiching a lone striker who will get no ball or service from his teammates because there are two holding midfielders closing the way.

It’s an expected selection but I am not a fan. First because none of the fullbacks is offense oriented as mentioned before, and there is no midfielder who can act on the flank decently to give the opportunity for Henry to penetrate into the box more often. The only trick is the switches we can see between Ibra and Henry with Keita assistance on the left as far as possible.

Good selection and with massive options. Ibra may move to the right while Messi cut to the center and Keita run into the box. The only problem is that having Maxwell in the selection may prevent Marquez from playing as a holding midfielder as he will stay behind to secure the defense. And If Kazan showed enough teeth then Keita will hesitate to move forward and will focus more on covering the offense rather than contributing in. We will have lot of possession this way but scoring goals will be another issue. I like the Iniesta-Ibra-Messi combination with Keita behind when we have Pique-Abidal-and Puyol in the back line. That’s when Iniesta can balance the flanks with Alves, and the defensive trio will have the pace and understanding to command the area even when one of them (pique) moves slightly forward.

My Favorite selection for this game:

 Puyol-Pique- Abidal-Maxwell-Yaya-Keita-Xavi-Henry-Ibra-Messi

a) Puyol-Pique-Abidal can secure the area infront of Valdes.
b) Maxwell can do the Alves job from the right left flank motivating Henry to penetrate into the box. We all know what happens when we get both Ibra and Henry into the box and deliver the ball to them right?
c) We will have the tactical flexibility to change gears based on Kazan form. If they showed enough potentials to label as dangerous opponents we select the third Gear with Abidal-Pique-Puyol playing as static center defenders behind Yaya who will be supported by Keita as needed. That will be more than enough to keep Xavi-Messi-Ibra-Maxwell and Henry focused on scoring a goal to hunt the game. And with Kazan showing the intentions to attack the mentioned five players will have enough quality and space to score. If Kazan were less daring offense wise by playing a lone striker then Abidal and Puyol can mark him while Pique cover behind Yaya leaving Keita for his offense role. Cross the ball from the flanks into a box where Keita, Ibra, and Henry exist and you know what will happen next.

d) Ibra can still move to the left where he has the understanding with Maxwell or to the right when Henry and Keita penetrate into the box and Messi cuts into the center getting advantage of the spaces created by his teammates positioning rotation.

e) Marking Xavi will not lead to blocking our offense flow as it will be directed more toward the flanks through Maxwell and Messi. Ibra and Henry can act as stations and outlets while Keita and Yaya support the ball flow.

The reason why I prefer this selection is its directness. If the weather was not suitable and the field was not compatible to skills and techniques, only a direct style can put you through. The likes of Henry, Keita, Ibra, and Maxwell can guide the team in that manner more than the partnership of Xavi and Iniesta, or the offense with Iniesta and Messi on the extremes.

Alves will be available for this game as well, but if he is not fully fit, then it’s better not to select him as he may not have enough immunity against injuries in such a physically demanding game.

No need to turn it to an endless thesis. So here I publish it hoping that my following comment will be congratulating the team after a needed win.