Last Liga match of the season, and there wasn’t much to recommend it apart from, you know, it being Pep’s last match with Barça in La Liga: Betis had no ambitions that would spur them to get a win at all costs, and neither did Barça. It could almost have been a friendly.

Promise me you'll teach them to take set-pieces...

Pep chose VV, Alves, Piqué, Mascherano, Adriano, Busquets, Xavi, Keita, Pedro, Messi and Afellay for his starting XI, leaving Oier, Montoya, Cuenca, Tello, Iniesta, Cesc and Bartra on the bench and Thiago on the stands. Though not exactly the strongest Barça starting XI in existence, it was strong enough to give us a good idea of what we can expect at the Copa del Rey final, while still leaving space for novelties like Afellay, given his first Liga start of the season.

The match started off lively, neither team holding back, and within ten minutes Barça was ahead by mean of -of all things- a set piece and a Busquets goal.

It’s like we’re becoming a team that can actually do things with set-pieces, things that are not wasting them utterly.

Afellay and Pedro were both doing well -a pleasure to see, after the one’s prolongued absence and the other’s dip in form-, the Xavi-orchestrated midfield flowed along nicely (helped by Messi, who dropped deep often) and Keita and Busquets traded places in what could be an interesting move for the future: although Barça has no shortage of talented midfielders, the time might come when we need Busquets to step into a more advanced role.

Do it as if you were scoring an own goal, Pep said...

Meanwhile, at the back, Masche was giving a lesson in being awesome. How he can do the things he does, I have no idea. He tackles someone and is on his feet and chasing the ball before his victim has hit the ground. It’s like gravity doesn’t have the heart to make him follow the same rules as us mortals.

We had a moment of panic when Ibi Afellay was brought down and had to be carried off the pitch between gestures of pain (”Not again!” we cried), but it was only a dislocated finger and he was soon back on, to add his paticular brand of speed and directness to the match.

The game transcurred with little urgency until half time. Barça had chances, but Casto (Betis’ goalkeeper) had good reflexes and kept the scoreline reasonable.

Betis came out on the second half with more purpose, and Dani Alves obliged them with a silly challenge that meant his second yellow card of the match (granted, the Betis player rolled around like a lawn-mower after the foul, but still). Down to 10 men and with Betis on the attack, even Masche’s disregard for the laws of physic and Pep subbing in Montoya for Afellay weren’t enough.

It took Rubén Castro barely 10 minutes after Dani’s sending off to ruin VV’s evening with a goal that was half beating the offside trap, and half VV having already his mind on the holidays (but for Pinto’s unfortunately-timed ankle sprain, he wouldn’t have played).

Three minutes later, VV’s evening was further ruined thanks to Rubén Castro again. The Zamora Award (to the goalkeeper with the best goal/match ratio in La Liga) was at risk. And Barça were losing.

It was the exact same goal as the first one, except that Castro didn’t even bother chipping it and VV didn’t even bother making a real effort at stopping it. Our defence (who amongst them have many virtues, but speed is not one of them) were caught out of position. Not exactly a good sign, considering Athletic de Bilbao.

Since there weren’t really any defensive options on the bench, Pep went attack-minded with this subs, bringing in Tello for Pedro and Iniesta in for Xavi as the match dragged to an end. Barça had a good chance near the end with a Messi FK that hit the goalpost (Messi not only has an obscene amount of goals, but he’s also the player who has hit the woodwork more time in this Liga: 9 times), but it was Keita who’d bring the equaliser in injury time, a good header to an excellent Montoya cross.

So, 2-2 in the end and a somewhat lackluster brooch for Pep’s La Liga run with Barça (then again, he started it off by losing against Numancia, so this might be fitting).

This wasn’t the sort of match that merits detailed player ratings, but allow me to list some thoughts all the same.

-While it’s true that Dani Alves was silly in getting sent off, and that his crosses are more deserving of a NASA study than someone trying to actually convert them into goals, it seems to me that many Barça fans are being too quick in writing him off. Yes, we could possibly get a lot of money for him, and yes, Montoya is not half-bad, but it might not be wise to get rid of such a crucial piece of the team at a time when we’re already going through heavy renovations on the left flank, not to mention that finding someone else with a telepathic connection to Messi might take time.
-Piqué wasn’t disastrous, but he wasn’t particularly good either, and many was the time when Busquets, Keita (and even Messi, once) tracked back to bail him out. Masche is good, but he benefits from having a competent CB partner, so Piqué has 10 days to either improve beyond belief or give us an argument for spending a good chunk of Barça’s transfer kitty in a CB.
-Afellay, Pedro, Cuenca and Tello are all in good form, which is nice… but might present a problem in the future. You know, when Villa is back and Alexis stops getting injured every other week. Where are we going to play them all? Could one or two of them be reconverted into CBs, à la Masche?

With La Liga over, the Zamora and Pichichi awards safely in VV and Messi’s hands, and the Copa del Rey final in the horizon, it’s time to take things easy…

… and what’s that? Dani Alves broke his collarbone this morning at training? Great. That’s exactly what we meant by ‘take things easy’. How many defenders do we have now? (no, Piqué doesn’t count…)

It's very green. Also, if you look closely, it looks like those cars to the left are parked on a beach.

Real Betis vs FC Barcelona, AKA Pep’s last Liga match (but not THE last match), AKA the annual “B team plays a Liga match”, AKA the match that’t not very important in terms of results.

On another note, does anyone know who’s injured and who isn’t? I’m having trouble remembering.
(Actually I’ve typed it all out here for you to try and make sense of, but it’s been a very injury-prone few days…)

Time for a roll call! Pinto sprained his ankle today and won’t be travelling to Betis, so you can all breathe a sigh of relief there. It’s been said that Mascherano particularly welcomed the news as he won’t need to pull off the impossible after Pinto decides to take a stroll out of his box, but those rumours are unconfirmed. Alexis is still out due to what the website is calling a “soleus injury” which is apparently a hamstring injury. Everyone else has had a hamstring injury this season, so why stop now, right?!

Pinto as captain. You know the world's gone crazy when that happens.

Puyol is obviously out for the rest of the season. This would have been disastrous, but thankfully Piqué has received the medical green light, as have Keita and Cuenca. Oh, yeah, and Tito had a fever the other day but I believe he was present at the team’s training session yesterday. I think I’ve covered everyone who’s been injured recently. And by “injured recently”, well, that’s pretty much been everyone. Including Tito. Jeez.

As for the match itself, what’s at stake? Nothing really. Betis are sitting in 12^th place on the table, so they’re not fighting relegation. I’d say this was a good warm-up match for the Copa final, but we’re not going to see many first team players. From the B team, Oier, Tello, Montoya and Bartra will be joining the squad, and I think we can expect to see a couple of them starting. Such as…

VV – Montoya, Mascherano, Piqué, Adriano – Busquets, Keita, Thiago – Tello, Messi, Pedro.

The predicted starting XI appears to only have two youngsters starting.  But that’s what I imagine will happen. Piqué, Keita and Thiago should start as they’ve not played much recently and will want to get back into the swing of things. Pedro should start to hopefully build on his recent form, which has seen a huge improvement. I don’t see any reason for Xavi or Iniesta to play. They should be rested for the Copa match. We’ll probably see Afellay in the second half, along with Cuenc. I’d like to see Bartra come on for Mascherano at some point. Well, considering he’s the only CB on the bench, he has a fairly good chance of being played.

One of these three men will play tomorrow night. Can you guess who it'll be?

The final result? 0-3. I don’t see Betis scoring, especially because Valdes will be back at goal. Pep says Betis are a “demanding team” but I don’t ever remember them being particularly demanding. And then I don’t see this being a goal fest from Barça, because they’ll have one eye on the Copa final and I don’t see them banging them in for fun. I say that now and Messi will probably score five. I think we’ll see goals from Thiago, Tello and Messi, but my name isn’t Kage and I’m quite terrible at predicting results. Feel free to laugh at me if my predictions are miles wrong  – they probably will be.

The match kicks off tomorrow at 9pm GMT/10pm CET. See you there for what will hopefully be a memorable final Liga match for Pep.

Also, today is Iniesta's 28th birthday. Happy birthday Don Andres!

Barca wins 7 trophies from IFFHS including Best Team of the Decade. Zubi wonders if he should have brought a bag.

Increasing Barca transfer rumors for Neymar, who might or might not have been struck by lightning just before this picture was taken. It is feared that Barca fans, still recovering from Cesc's hair, might just not be mentally prepared.

Our prediction for Sport.es website over this summer remains the same as last year.

Messi scores more goals in one season than 14 EPL teams, 13 La Liga & Bundesliga teams, and 12 Serie A teams (fcb site). Masche reveals that Messi "still thinks he is human". While it is widely known that he shares one Catalan great-great-grandparent with Bojan, the fact that he shares another Kryptonian great-great-grandparent with Clark Kent is a well kept secret.

Meanwhile, Isaac Cuenca is just very hungry.

And Cesc turns twenty five.

Having mastered DM and CB, Masche tries his hand at being goalkeeper while Pinto steps out for a stroll.

It is suspected that Iniesta and Messi together might have finally figured out what to do with free kicks.

Because Messi has his own logo, we thought it's only fair that Xavi has one too.

Different media react differently to slow news days. MD: "Barca will not be selling Pique during summer". Us: "Here is the Camp Nou Cat".

A celebration of perfection. Irrespective of what anyone says.

And we love you too!

…and that was Pep’s last match at the Camp Nou.

What a way to go out, huh? Fans at every corner of the stadium, holding up signs with goodbye messages, 4 goals from Messi, a team hug to celebrate the 4^th goal and a beautiful send off from the players and coaching team once the match ended.

With Real Madrid already sealing the title, there was technically nothing to play for and perhaps we’d have witnessed a very different match had the circumstances been different. The match didn’t feel like a derby at all, but that might be because I was watching this as “Pep’s final home match” rather than watching another El Derbi Barceloní. How would the team play? Would it be a memorable last home match? What would the team have prepared for him once the match ends?

They didn’t disappoint. The lineup was: Pinto – Montoya, Mascherano, Puyol, Adriano – Busquets, Keita, Thiago – Pedro, Messi, Iniesta. A fitting lineup? I’d say so. Pedro and Busquets – two players who Guardiola brought through from Barça B with him and Mascherano and Keita, his sunshines!

I’m finding it quite difficult to run through the minute-by-minute action, so I won’t try to muddle my way through it. Here’s a few observations though: Iniesta actually played well on the left wing (but please, put him back in the midfield!), Mascherano pulled of a simply amazing clearance around the 73^rd minute (you know the one I’m talking about), Pinto was a bit all over the place but what else did you expect? And of course, Messi was just outstanding.

Barça had two penalties awarded to them. Too little, too late? Making up for all the penalties that weren’t called earlier in the season? Not really. Does it make much difference now? You could say it does, as it only helps Messi on his way to another insane number of goals for the season.

Look at their little faces...

So, Messi? I don’t think I have the words anymore. What can you say about a man who broke a world record last night? 72 goals in all competitions, 50 Liga goals…assisted another 28 goals, making him directly involved in 100 goals in total. I’m probably forgetting some of his other insane stats, so forgive me if I have. It’s difficult keeping up with everything he’s achieved. There were murmurs of him being unwell or slightly hurt during the Clásico and both legs against Chelsea, and seeing the way he played last night compared to those matches…I can believe it. It’s worrying when you realise just how much influence one man can have on your team. The so-called “Messidepencency” is a subject for another day though.

Messi and the rest of the team’s celebration with Pep was probably the stand out moment of the match, for me. How many times would that happen for any other manager on his way out off a club? It was very fitting. Pep has helped Messi develop a lot during these past four years and Messi has worked extremely hard in return. It was a fitting celebration. I’ve seen a few so-called “journalists” questioning whether or not Pep has the full support of the dressing room over these past few months. All I can say is: just look at the way the team act during that celebration and the ones after the match. That is not an example of a manager who doesn’t have his players support.

Group hug time!

I can’t imagine how much Pep means to the players and to the other technical staff. Goodness knows I was a teary mess after the match so I can’t begin to imagine how they feel. Watching the players throw him in the air made me even more proud to be a fan. Barça didn’t win the league and nor are they in the Champions League final, and the manager is leaving. So why are they celebrating?

"Pedro has become vital for us, absolutely fundamental. He is a great role model. He always exceeds expectations. If Pedro was Brazilian, he’d be called Pedrinho and we wouldn’t have enough money to afford him."

Well, Pep’s four years in charge are reason enough to celebrate. It’s wonderful that the team and the fans have recognised exactly what he’s done for the club. The amount of respect shown to him from fans/managers/players of other teams has been amazing and just represents what an impact he’s had on the world of football.

I’m going to pass on the individual player ratings because as I’ve said, this wasn’t really a regular match. We still have an away match against Betis and of course the cup final so hopefully he can truly leave on a high note. I’ll leave you with some words from the man himself. You can watch his speech with English subtitles here – thanks to totalBarça for the translation.

Life has given me this present. For five years I have been able to have you close to me and enjoy the great show that these boys have given us during that time. I’ve been no different than you – I’ve been equally privileged. A little closer to the pitch maybe, but I’ll take this privilege with me. You can’t imagine the happiness and pleasure I’ll take with me.

Thank you to absolutely everybody, especially those who have been closest to me, because every day we have been working hard so that you can enjoy watching us play. And thank you also to you in the crowd, who maybe haven’t been so close, but who have really made us feel your support.

You should know that I will miss you. I’m the person who is losing most, but I am leaving you in the best possible hands – particularly of this group of players. The pressure was strong and I needed to ease it a bit, but you don’t need to do that – stay with us, because this still has a long way to go. I wish you all the best of luck – I’ll see you soon and you will never lose me!

- Pep Guardiola

Final farewell to Pep Guardiola tonight at the Camp Nou.

Gracias Pep!

It's not actually the swan who sings...

This is the game after the Liga title has been definitively lost. Sounds hum-drum, dreary, as soporific as the math class right after lunch, no? No, not this game. For this is Pep Guardiola’s swan song at the Camp Nou. And it is a derby, the intracity clash that always brings out both envy and bitter dislike: after Chelsea nudged Barca out of the Champions’ League last week, Espanyol fans rolled out a “THANKS CHELSEA” banner behind a goal at Cornellá, their stadium. So the hum and the drum will be supplanted by hate and love. Hatred between the clubs (or their fans, at least), and a wave of love at Camp Nou for Pep. “I have never liked goodbyes,” Pep said this week, but something like 80,000 people will be saying exactly that to him. This derby, meaningless on the surface, will be an affair to remember.

“Figures often beguile me,” Mark Twain wrote, “particularly when I have the arranging of them [to] myself,” and Twain then quoted former Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli with what is now a familiar phrase: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”  Sure, we can arrange our statistics with the best of them: Barca’s only won four of the last 11 games against Espanyol; in their last three Liga games at Camp Nou, no game was decided by more than one goal (Espanyol won one, Barca two).  Close game, at best.

Twain predicting tonight's game by using statistics

On the other hand, statistics also tell us life has not been good to manager Mauricio Pochettino and his blue-and-whites.   Espanyol has won just one of its last eight matches in La Liga – they’ve lost three in a row, including two to the lowly Granada and Sporting –  you can get 75 to 1 odds on them to win tonight by a 1-0 score – and Espanyol hasn’t won away from home in their past nine games.  Meanwhile, Barca has scored the tidy sum of 25 goals in their last six games in La Liga, and that includes the sad Clasico.  They’ve looked unstoppable since bowing out of the two big competitions, as if taking their revenge out on the world over the prospect of losing their dear coach.

The World according to Statistics

So that was the other hand.  But you need at least three hands for statistics.  Here’s that third hand: of those last 9 winless games, Espanyol’s drawn four of them.  Barca will be without Gerard Pique and Alexis Sanchez, certainly one of their better goal scorers lately, and young Isaac Cuenca will probably have to sit as well; on the Espanyol side, the dangerous Nigerian striker Kalu Uche (who co-leads the team in scoring even though he’s started only 11 games) is back from injury.

A sensible prediction would be either a draw or Barca to win by a slender goal in a hard-fought contest – 2-1, for example, would be the smart thing to say here.  But this correspondent wants to go against the sensible grain.  Barca lives by the Leo and very occasionally dies by it.  In this case I think the small genius will be “lit,” as they say in Danish.  Of course Leo will want to win the Pichichi; he’ll want to be the first ever to score 70 goals in a season (he has 68!); and the little man will want to say goodbye to Pep in a good way.  Love conquers all, you know.

A Song for Pep

So Pep’s swan song will be loud and lovely: 4-0, with a hat trick from Messi and another from Pedro.  And a sea of missed chances to boot.

Lineups:  I have no idea, frankly.  Pep can deliver the Zamora trophy (for fewest goals allowed) to Victor Valdes by sitting VV down over the last two games, and Pep wants to do it.  (That will give Victor four straight Zamoras!)  So Pinto will keep goal, and if he plays like he did against Rayo that is absolutely no disadvantage.

Without Fontas, 1Pique and Abidal it sure looks like Puyol and the Monster Masch in the middle again, and Adriano is a good attacking left-back to use for a home game; only question is whether Alves or Montoya start on the right side.  I’ll guess fairly randomly Pep gives Montoya another run-out.  In midfield Xavi could be back.  He’ll likely be used only for an hour at the start or a half-hour as a sub.  Let’s say the latter, with Thiago starting in his place, and then pencil in Iniesta and Busquets.   Up front beside Messi there should be the resurrected Pedro and then either Tello or Cesc.  Let’s guess Tello, because at home Barca needs some width.

Yep Pep, we're calling you unpredictable.

One of Pep’s many virtues is his (hey, did you ever hear the joke about the duck walking into the bar and asking if they have any duckfood?) unpredictability.  Pep could certainly go 3-4-3 here, dispensing with Adriano, and adding Cesc in midfield.  But let’s just guess this 4-3-3:

Pinto; Montoya, Puyol, Mascherano, Adriano; Busquets, Thiago, Iniesta; Tello, Messi, Pedro.

And finally: as you probably know, the phrase “swan song” comes from Wagner’s opera Lohengrin, in which the hero sings his last aria, the Farewell song, and then departs for the other world in a boat drawn by a swan.  Once upon a time in the early 20^th century a great Austrian tenor named Leo Slezak finished his aria and turned toward his mechanical swan, only to find that it had already begun to move across the stage.  Slezak looked up at the audience, abashed, and then asked the public, “Tell me.  What time is the next swan?”

Pep later tonight...

We don’t know what time the next swan will be for Pep Guardiola, or whether there ever will be one.  Maybe Tito will be all that we ever need.  Who knows.  All we do know that we’ll wait patiently, forever, and if ever an old man named Pep Guardiola with a gray beard and a round bald head steps back onto the stage for Barcelona F.C., why, we’ll be there, making our palms sting as we applaud, applaud, applaud.

The Next Swan?

Guests at Cesc's birthday party are capable of giving any football team a run for their money.

Maybe Mr. Arbeloa can help assuage the feeling of general panic! What do you think, sir? “I’d like to say to Barca – your glory days will soon come to an end. That’s the spirit we have now” he says. (quote via barcastuff) No we didn’t make it up. You can, of course, imagine thunder, lightning and three witches for the necessary effect to accompany that prophecy. “We are living in the Real Madrid era” declares Karanka, because you know, it’s completely normal to say that kind of thing after winning one Liga title. Still, we would like to congratulate Real Madrid on their brilliant season where they’ve been utterly consistent and are totally deserving of the title. It’s a privilege to be watching such a fine collection of players on either side spurring each other on to further greatness through their rivalry (Now if only they’ll all shut up and just focus on playing). Next season is going to be terrific competition, and there’s a lot of excitement to find out more about Tito Vilanova’s plans and approach. Of course, it goes without saying that we’ll sorely miss Pep Guardiola, Barca coach and living legend, perfection in well-dressed human form, also known to a select few who are privy to his secret as Professor X. As Sacchi puts it so succinctly, “Pep, the idealist, the innovator, stops. Many won’t understand in a world where all is valued based upon money and success. Guardiola is the true football genius. If you innovate, you run out of energy faster.” (via barcastuff).

Next we move on to Messi’s record breaking 68 goals. We’ll just provide the video link (via barcastuff) and shut up. Like Pep says, you don’t waste words trying to describe Messi. You just watch him. There’s winning, losing, numbers, statistics, records, teams, fans and debates but beyond all that, there’s just pure, unadulterated and joyous football skill free from all the traps mentioned above.

Have a couple of minutes? Read this brilliant homage to Guardiola. Signing off with a couple of special pictures!

Meanwhile, we'll just celebrate Messi's existence.

Barça continued with their pre-Copa-del-Rey-final tour by hosting Champions League hopefuls Málaga last night. Pep, in his last-but-one match at the Camp Nou as Barça coach, delighted the crowd by playing Pinto, Alves, Puyol, Mascherano, Adriano, Keita, Fàbregas, Iniesta, Cuenca, Pedro and Messi. Fine, maybe ‘delight’ is too strong a word, but the return of the 4-3-3 was like wrapping the fans in a soft, fluffy blanket and patting them on the head.

Málaga played Kameni, Jesús Gámez, DeMichelis, Sánchez, Eliseu, Portillo, Camacho, Cazorla, Duda, Buonanotte and Rondón. One of Spain’s most promising players, Isco, regretfully missed the match; I was looking forwards to seeing him.

The visitors were braver than… oh, just about any team that has played Barça this season. Instead of sitting deep and defending ten men (or nine only, if they were feeling daring), Málaga faced the blaugrana by making their three forwards put pressure on our defence from the start, difficulting the transition into midfield. It worked well, both in that it gave Málaga a fighting chance and in that it made for a entertaining game to watch.

Our defence rose the challenge beautifully: Mascherano was outstanding, performing tackles that I’m pretty sure broke a few laws of physics; Puyol was his usual untouchable self, indulging into midfield duties from time to time (including a delightful Iniesta-esque threaded pass that Dani wasted); Alves himself, probably out of fear of the Pintocalypse, defended well and often, and Adriano was almost a winger at times, with some great shots and crosses.

The greatest danger from Málaga came from set-pieces (like an early free kick that hit the goalpost), but it was Barça who scored off a corner kick, from a lovely Iniesta assist that Puyol sent home.

BAR 1.0 MAL por Unpalis

The advantage lasted a good ten minutes before Rondón scored the equaliser with a great header:

BAR 1.1 MAL por Unpalis

Barça didn’t look verly concerned; they continued attacking and soon enough the rewards came, in the shape of a penalty for a foul on Iniesta that might or might not have been just outside the box. Messi as he does (except against Chelsea) scored with ease to put the blaugranas ahead again:

Meanwhile, the situation at the back was under control, if barely. After even Demichelis had a shot on goal, Barça players realised the Pintocalypse was imminent and took it upon themselves to prevent it. Cesc, in what might have been his only worthwhile action of the evening, threw himself onto an incoming shot like Captain America onto a grenade to see Barça stay ahead on the scoreline at the half-time.

The defensive heroics continued into the second half, again with Cesc doing better at the back than anywhere else (if Pep converted Masche into the King of CBs, might Tito not do something similar with Cesc? The other option is to send him back to London and ask for a refund, and I have a feeling Rosell lost the receipt).

For all that Barça were attacking well, it took another penalty kick (this time for a foul on Messi, well inside the box) for Barça to bag another goal. Depending on who you favour as a stat-maker, this either led Messi to break or equal Müller’s all-time season goalscoring record (67 goals and counting).

Did admirable Mr Pellegrini give up then? No, he did not. In came legend Ruud van Nistelrooy, who proceded to have a shot on goal within 30 seconds of being subbed it. But it was, as it so often is, Messi’s night: he completed his seventh Liga hat-trick of the season with a splendid goal following an equally splendid Iniesta pass. Müller’s record was conclusively broken.

This was enough to settle the match. Pep indulged in the luxury of subbing out Puyol for young Marc Bartra and Iniesta in for Ibi Afellay with over 15 minutes left of the match, and Tello also enjoyed some minutes as the match wound down.

All in in all, it was an enjoyable performance. Asides fom Leo ‘Hat-Trick’ Messi, there were handful of players who did just as well: Iniesta, who was on peak form, Keita, who excelled at controlling the midfield, Marvelous Masche, hard-working Adriano, back-to-debut-season-form Pedrito… only Cesc (pretty forgettable, except for his heroics on defence) and Cuenca (not very comfortable on the left) had less than brilliant matches. Even Pinto had a couple of worthy saves to make up for the ulcers he’s caused us.

And so the season is one match closer to being done. With the Liga definitely out of our reach, Espanyol and Betis will be rehearsals for the Copa del Rey final and -more importantly- goodbyes for Pep.

Pep’s going with: Pinto, Alves, Puyol, Mascherano, Adriano, Keita, Fàbregas, Iniesta, Cuenca, Pedro and Messi. He has  VV, Busquets, Thiago, Afellay, Tello, Montoya and Bartra available to sub in later.

On the other end, Malaga is starting: Kameni, Jesús Gámez, DeMichelis, S. Sánchez, Eliseu, Portillo, Camacho, Cazorla, Duda, Buonanotte and Rondón.

Read our preview quickly here before kick-off!  Visca Barca!

The season is slowly dragging itself to an end. Barça recovered from the CL/Clásico/Pep-induced depression by bullying The Avengers… I mean, Rayo Vallecano, and now it’s time to continue with the recovery (and with Pep’s sending off) by playing Málaga.

You better leave the drunken monkey and the darts you used to make your line-ups...

You don’t hear many people talking about Málaga. Not in Spain and certainly not outside of it. You’d think they were a modest mid-table team with no more ambitions than to survive yet another season in Primera. And yet…

Málaga sit fourth on the Liga table. Fourth. Second best of the rest. On a Champions League spot. They even beat Valencia (somehow placed third in spite of a woeful second half of the season) this weekend to draw on points with them.

Of course, this is less impressive when you remember that they have a Sheikh throwing money so they can sign players like DeMichelis, van Nistelrooy and -more importantly- tiny, talented Santi Cazorla, and that they have the gentlemany Pellegrini as their coach. But still. Fourth.

Málaga’s away form is pretty terrible: they’ve won only 4 of their 17 away matches, which would lead us to think that the Camp Nou is safe, if it weren’t for two things. Firstly, it’s almost certain that Pep will play Pinto tonight (to prepare him for the CDR final and to ensure that VV gets his fifth Zamora); and secondly, Málaga are really, really, REALLY going to want the three points. They have the chance to go third and grab onto that Champions League spot with all their might. They’re going to make their best effort.

We call it... The Pintocalypse.

And what is Barça going to do? With the Liga all but lost, is pride enough to get them to put on a strong performance? Real Madrid will mathematically be Liga champions if they beat (tired, with one eye on the Europa League final) Athletic de Bilbao at San Mamés. Why make the effort?

Well, first because I suspect that Pep would kill them if they went out and half-arsed the match. Secondly, because it’s the last-but-three match for Pep at Barça and I’m sure the players want to do him proud. And thirdly because even if the Liga is lost, there are individual successes still to be had: Messi is drawn with CRon for the Pichichi at 42 goals each and -better yet- is only 2 goals away from breaking Müller’s record of 67 season goals. Our little genius is not selfish and values records and pichichis less than he does team titles, but it’d be nice if he had something to show for this season, apart from the love and admiration of his peers, incredible stats and all the rest.

Oh, and Barça can also break the club’s record for goals scored in a single season (105, from the 2008/2009 season).

So, we have the motivations, but do we have the means? Alexis will miss the match with a knock he picked up against Rayo. Piqué still hasn’t recovered from VV’s kung-fu attack, Xavi is still nursing his delicate tendons, and Villa, Fontàs and Abidal are still deep in recovery. Tello, Montoya and Bartra will make up the numbers, as usual.

Time to throw the young and the benched out there! Rest Busquets and play Keita at DM! Get Afellay to partner Thiago in the midfield! See if Pedrito’s recovery is for real! Don’t forget about Cuenca! Let us see more of Montoya! Might as well put Bartra out there for a bit and let Puyol have a rest! Heck, maybe even play Cesc-…! No, OK, maybe that’s too much. Nevermind. Sorry.

In any case, whoever plays, and however they do, we’ll be here to watch them, support them and report back… Barça needs us as much as we need it (to cause us heart problems)!