Barca 6-Atletico Madrid 1, a.k.a. “Everybody, shut your stinkin’ holes!”

By: Kevin | October 4th, 2008

This was a statement match, everyone. And the statement is “Shut up. Leave us alone, leave our coach alone, leave our players alone. We’re in great shape and ready to contend for trophies. We’re solid, and are a united front. So just shut the hell up, and take this 6-1 dismantling with you.”

It was that kind of a party.

In 1992, the Chicago Bulls faced the Portland Trail Blazers in the NBA Finals. The Bulls had Michael Jordan. The Blazers had Clyde Drexler. The competition was Michael vs Clyde. Jordan proceeded to, with the help of his teammates, destroy the Blazers in that game, just like Lionel Messi did to Kun Aguero and Atletico Madrid today.

Messi wanted this one, and his teammates wanted it for him. The result was spectacular, a match for the ages. I don’t often watch matches after the final result, but rest assured I will be pulling this one out, years hence. I’ve been watching this side a looong time, and cannot think of a more dominant dismantling of a quality side. There was the 2005 Ronaldinho 3, Evil Empire 0 shred-fest at their home which is also up there.

But this one was staggering, and could have been far worse. We basically passed the ball around in the second half, never really attacking with the energy and fire that we did in the first half.

The starting XI, which came into a loud, rocking Camp Nou, were: Valdes, Puyol, Marquez, Pique, Abidal, Busquets, Gudjohnsen, Xavi, Messi, Eto’o, Iniesta.

And you could see, right from the opening minute when they began pressuring the ball like crazy men, that they were ready to play. We didn’t know that this was going to be the match where we didn’t let the other side back into the game yet. All we knew at that instant was that the Mighty Mites were on the loose, and just like that, we had a well-worked corner. A pillow-soft Xavi cross led to a blistering deflected header by Marquez and suddenly, it was 1-0. Those wanting the early goal were satisfied, as we play a lot better leading than chasing the game.

Then the Mites were at it again, Messi schooling a defender who did the only thing he could: knock the crap out of him. A very nervous-looking Eto’o buries the penalty and it’s 2-0 before the fashionably late arrivers at the Camp Nou could even settle in.

And then came the free kick heard ’round the world, the one that shows the ruthlessness and fire of this side. Atletico were leisurely setting up, getting ready to go. But the ref was ready to go, and so were we. Messi let fly, Coupet registered his disgust by leaning against the post, and at that moment the match was effectively over. Done. Stick a fork in it.

Why? Because simply put, our back line didn’t let them play with the ball. We controlled the midfield, and when something got through, Abidal and Puyol were in the house along with Pique, who had his best match of the season. Notice how he was clearing and controlling? Man-style, yo.

Then Busquets had to go and spray paint the Mona Lisa with a sloppy giveaway that was pounced on by Maxi Rodriguez. Suddenly it was 3-1, and Atletico had the fire back in their eyes. But it just wasn’t to be. Busquets, beginning the first of many efforts to make up for his fault, kicked off a play from the back, that was Busquets–Gudjohnsen–Xavi–Eto’o.

And what a goal by Eto’o. From control to finish, he never looked jittery, never seemed ready to lose the ball in his feet. He was all assassin, and took a great chance. Yes, the pass was impeccable, but the finish was world class. And suddenly, it was 4-1.

More chances went pinging off the woodwork and feet and then, Iniesta did one of his wiggleworm runs, to unleash a quicksilver shot that pinged off the woodwork directly to a waiting Gudjohnsen, who buried it. 5-1 at the half, and this match was effectively over, right?

Wrong.

Messi took the ball, and took off. Defenders that he didn’t outrun he faked out of their shorts, until all that was left was Gregory Coupet (I warned y’all about him), who did the right thing by just running directly at Messi full-bore, leaving only one option for Messi: try a quick shot. It didn’t work, and we were all wondering how in the hell Messi didn’t convert that chance. Give Coupet a lot of credit.

Still it was as perfect a half of football as I can recall. The players all had that nervous-serious sort of look that said “I want this match. And not this match. I want destruction.” And they set about the task in a way that should have the league thinking “Anybody who comes out to play against these folks is out of their freaking minds.”

Because Atletico did come out to play, rather than packing it in. And they paid. To the tune of 6 goals that could have been 10. It was only Coupet that kept the scoreline out of the horrific category. We were a team on fire.

And what of the great Kun Aguero? Well, here’s the difference between Messi and Aguero: Messi doesn’t need to be passed the ball. He is his own offense. Aguero needs the feed. And when the other side effectively shuts down midfield and both wings, no service is possible, particularly when the back line man-marks with taller players. And so went the Lionel Messi show.

A camaraderie note: Everyone in the world noticed how pissed Eto’o looked when he was coming off of the pitch, and the good-natured shove toward the bench that he received from Guardiola. Don’t know if anyone caught it, but he and Henry shared a moment when Eto’o was coming off, that grabbed a huge grin from the Cameroonian, who after passing Henry, immediately re-applied his stone face. It was a great moment. And the warmth of the shared hug after Henry scored his majestic (not majestical, Ray Hudson you blithering, Madridista nit….majestic) goal was genuine.

An announcer note: It wasn’t until the destruction was complete that we started hearing about how this guy was missing, and that guy was missing, and the wrong kind of fabric softener was used in the Atletico uniforms, and Aguero lost his car keys that morning, and yada, yada, yada. At the end, Hudson, in trying to put this one in perspective, said “Not to take anything away from….” taking away by the very statement. Had Atletico been full-strength, we would still have won this one going away. Because it wasn’t as if they had real scoring chances that just missed. They weren’t hitting the post or just missing on through balls. They weren’t allowed to play with the ball. And when you don’t have the ball, it doesn’t matter WHO the hell you have in the side.

So Ray Hudson, you like everyone else after this match, can just shut the hell up.

Man of the Match. This a hard one. There are some perfect scores coming up in the player ratings to be sure, and there is a valid argument for two players: Messi and Abidal. Messi took the match by the scruff of the neck offensively, scoring once, setting up the penalty for another and almost scoring a third.

But Abidal took the match by the scruff of the neck defensively, something that is to my eyes more critical. We have let sides back into matches time and again with loose play at the back. But every time Atletico had some good plays and passing strung together, there was No. 22 with a strip, header or deflection. So people might shout, his haters will howl, but Eric Abidal is my man of the match today, on this glorious, glorious day.

And with that, player ratings:

Valdes: 6. He had the best seat in the house. He didn’t have to do much, except pick the ball out of the back of the net after the Maxi blast, and make that excellent save on the header off the rare Atletico corner. And it was a hell of a save, as he followed the ball beautifully. It’s a 6 only because he just didn’t do anything.

Puyol: 7. Wow. Every time we need El Capitan to step up and give us a big one, as I was saying pre-match, there he was. His role today was bull-strong right back, outlet passer and attack killer. He performed all 3 with the style and fire that we love. That diving header that shot directly to Xavi, which simultaneously broke up an Atleti attack and started our attack was amazing. Sorry I ever doubted you, El Capitan. You can tell me to shut up, too. You’ve earned it.

Marquez: 7. Nailed the header for the goal and almost got another one. Never put a foot wrong the entire match, though to be sure, all of the work was being done in the midfield. By the time anything got as far as him, it was a simple matter of collecting and clearing.

Pique: 7. Great match from the lanky one. His clearances and control were much, much better. He was playing with actual fire, and responsible for a number of excellent passes out of the back. When he’s in, he seems to be assuming that attack-starter role that was formerly Marquez’.

Abidal: 10. Is this his second one of the season? He earned 3 corners with strong offensive play, and was everywhere in the back, in full and complete control. He stonewalled everything that came near him, ran attackers down, took outlet pass after outlet pass and was a perfect safety valve. And he thinks that he needs to improve? I wonder when people are going to start giving this man a break.

Busquets: 6. He worked like a dog to overcome that bad first-half play, and almost did so. His deft ball control skills and passing grace make him, as far as I can see, our starting defensive mid of the future, and a not too distant one. He’s also a foul-drawer, something not to be underestimated as an offensive weapon, given how closely he plays to the opposition box. Alves will find the range.

Gudjohnsen: 7. This was his best performance in a Barca uniform, period. He played the entire match, and between charging the goal (really should have had a second off that rocket blast late in the first half) and being a physical presence in the midfield with his constant ball pressuring, what a match. How did Guardiola know he was ready for this kind of performance? Second half he fell off a bit, but still. Nice stuff from the Monument.

Xavi: 10. Corner kick. Goal. Pass to Eto’o. Goal. Pass to Krkic for Henry. Goal. Every pass that he made was precisely weighted. He was always in the right spot, always ready for the great pass, always ready to pressure the ball and work it loose. The game looked easy as pie for him today, and the gesture to sub him off so that he could bask in the applause of the Camp Nou crowd was a great, great touch by Guardiola.

Messi: 10. Puyol wears the Captain’s armband, but Messi was the true captain today. He let it be known right away that he was for absolutely zero bullshit out there. When he gets you down, he wants to put his boot on your throat. If you show any kind of fear, he will destroy you. He knew that by running directly at the defender, a back line already shaky, that he could work something loose. He deserved that hat trick off of what would have been a goal for the ages, but he just couldn’t pull it off. No matter.

Iniesta: 9. Sorry, but I have to take a point away for that haircut. Are lice a problem in the Camp Nou? Is he an extra in the Catalan remake of “Deliverance?” Dude. What the hell. Just kidding about the point deduction, but y’all knew that. He was everywhere, almost functioning as a Messi doppelganger. Iniesta is having his best season in the colors by a country mile. His runs make us so dangerous. He really deserved that goal that Gudjohnsen scored, but that’s okay.

Eto’o: 9. Holy crap, what a goal. He was everywhere on the pitch today. From the control of the pass to the double-deke move to the rocket shot past Coupet, this was a stunner of a goal that deserved every one of the plaudits it received. Man, what a match. When he has that look in his eye, the other defense should just agree to give us two points, just take that maniac off the pitch before he kills us.

Guardiola: 10. The exact right lineup for the exact result that was needed. How did he know Gudjohnsen was ready to deliver the match of his Barca life? How did he know that even though he was almost certainly tired, that Messi would be ready with a career-defining match? Dunno, but he did. He has the lads playing with fire, fury and precision. More importantly, the one-touch passing game is a regular menu item, not an occasional special. Wow.

Substitutes.

Henry: 9. With more time, he almost certainly gets a higher score. But I knew he was ready to go when, late in the match when Atletico had the ball, guess who our right back was, fronting the attacker? That’s right. And what a goal. He worked the ball loose, made the initial pass, made the run and finished with a laser of a shot that would have taken Coupet’s arms off had he been able to reach it. He also brought fire back to a side that was ready to just kill off the second half. His hug for Eto’o was very cool. This is a team, everyone.

Krkic: 7. The Kid was rocking today. He’s a little selfish, but that’s what goal scorers are. He’s still about a year away, but when he plays as he did today, it’s just another weapon. He is constant motion and energy, which makes it hell for defenders trying to track him. Because while you’re tracking him, the other guys are raising hell.

Keita: 5. Didn’t really have the opportunity to do much, but made a few good plays in garbage time, which was in effect the entire second half.

Where do we go from here? I don’t know, but that 1-0 loss to little Numancia seems kind of absurd to contemplate now, right? They and Racing must be damp with relief sweat that they got us then instead of now.

Folks, I’m giddy, and sorry this is longer than usual. But I think this match warrants it. We might never see better, though I hope that we do. The Camp Nou was packed. Whether that was in anticipation of this kind of effort, or because Guardiola called the fans out, saying “Hey, we’re playing our butts off, where are the butts in the seats,” I dunno. But it sure was great to hear the place rocking like that.

And that’s all I know.