Getafe 2-Barcelona 0 (The “Orange Turd” edition)

By: Isaiah | November 10th, 2007

Guest blogger: Kevin. Thanks so much to Kevin for taking over this week’s edition.

Not a lot to say about this one. Thanks to my futbol-mania, I had GolTV as part of the Spanish language package (which I got for ESPN Deportes and Champions League match days), since GolTV’s English feed wasn’t working due to a Comcast snafu that affected Lord knows how many viewers.

Not that they missed much.

It’s safe to say that this was the worst performance of the season by the lads, filled with stupid play, wasted, negative balls and an offense (if you can call long, lofted balls or Messi dribbling into four defenders an offense) that gave Getafe plenty of time to get set up to shut things down.

Clad in the orange strip, things started out with the lads looking tense, as aware of their road malaise as anyone, and boy, did they play like it. Lots of play in their own end, and though they dominated possession, Getafe was definitely the more aggressive, dangerous side. Mind you, their offensive players were diving, rolling and flopping about like gutted fish, and the ref obliged by calling fouls on almost every one. But the lads were a step behind the entire match. Puyol, who played like a lion, was in the right spots, but his pace just isn’t what it once was. Even the reliable Toure Yaya was sloppy and imprecise.

Finally, at about the 17-minute mark, the boys came to life and showed some offense, even if they never really looked like scoring. Then Henry had what turned out to be the last real chance of the match at 22’, and he did what has become his usual, a casual tap at the ball that gave Abbondanzieri not a lick of trouble. I repeat: When Eto’o comes back to show him how a Blaugrana forward should finish, look for splinters in Titi’s expensive bum.

And then it came: The delayed foul and subsequent free kick when Uche beat Puyol up the side. Certainly, it wasn’t much of a foul and Uche went down as if he was shot, but Puyol should have trusted his defense, crappy though they were. The subsequent free kick, thanks to terrible marking by Milito, Thuram, Abidal and Yaya, led to an almost accidental goal by Manu, a scuffed shot that bounced off the pitch and past Valdes. Puyol was furious and he should have been, not only for the call, but at the defense that didn’t shut the play down immediately.

And the rewarded Getafe began flopping with renewed vigor, as Barca played negative football. Never have I seen so many side-to-side, cross-pitch and back passes. Their possession stats were padded, but Getafe was the side playing with vigor and aggression. Too much dribbling meant that whenever a Barca player decided to take an offense-minded tack, there were three or four Getafe players there to greet him. Quick movement, give-and-gos and one-touch passing were nowhere to be seen, and everybody just flailed away. Long passes to Henry were useless, as he’s rotten with his back to goal. Iniesta was invisible, and so was Messi much of the time. Abidal was intermittent and Xavi continues his recent string of ineffectual play. The match was just an unmitigated disaster. Were it not for Valdes, the score would have been even more lopsided.

The second Getafe goal, after Zambrotta’s rash, stupid red card (at 85’) was as inevitable as the sunset. A desperate challenge had the ball bounce right up to Uche as if he had passed it to himself. He hit a wide-open Albin for the coup de grace.

Highlights? Not many. Abidal’s excellent tackle in the box to delay the second goal, Valdes’ save off Sousa at the end of the first half, again off an excellent setup (back heel….very slick) from Uche.

Essential stats:
Goals: Manu at 27′
Albin at 90′

Red cards: Zambrotta at 85′

Substitutions: Dos Santos for Ronaldinho at 62′
Krkic for Messi at 76′

And that’s about it. Grades follow, and it ain’t pretty.
Starters:
Henry: 1 (play like a man, or sit the hell down)
Messi: 2 (he should have been subbed sooner)
Ronaldinho: 3 (stop playing around and move the ball)
Iniesta: 0 (was he there? I couldn’t tell)
Xavi: 2 (waste, waste and more waste)
Yaya: 3 (clumsy with way too many back passes)
Abidal: 4 (upgrade for his tackle in the box but again, he’s contracted dribble-itis)
Milito: 2 (got snookered for the free header/pass that led to the first goal)
Thuram: 1 (are you lost, little boy? You looked like it.)
Puyol: 9 (that sweat-soaked shirt spoke volumes about his performance)
Valdes: 7 (caught out of position on the first, stoppable goal, but yeoman work)

Subs:
Zambrotta: 1 (worthless. That tackle will earn a red card anywhere except the EPL.)
Krkic: 1 (energy, energy, all for naught. Shame on you for that dive!)
Dos Santos: 0 (I saw him subbed in and enter the pitch, then….nothing)

Highlights to follow