Preview: Barca v Real Betis, a.k.a. “Avoiding the goose egg.” Wednesday@1 p.m. CT, GolTV

By: Kevin | September 23rd, 2008

(Edit: Odonkor will not be back for this match. Baby Kxevin regrets the error.)

This one, boys and girls, moms and dads, is a complex one. Real Betis should be a win, particularly at home. But as we learned last season with our beloved lads, things ain’t always what they seem. And without resorting to the decimal points of our very own Isaiah, let’s just say that Betis has a resolute record of one goal allowed and zero goals scored, in three Liga matches.

Given that we rang up six goals in our last match, this one should be a walkover, right?

Not so fast. Betis is two things that are very dangerous to us: defense-minded, and very adept at the counter. Their fastest attacker, Odonkor, is still injured. But Gonzales is also fast and dangerous, and can very easily leak behind our (recently) high line. Who will deal with the ensuing chaos?

And as we saw in the Sevilla match, Betis can keep a side from scoring. And how. But the goal they gave up was against Recreativo. After that, 0-0 draws against Getafe and Sevilla (zero bottles hurled from the stands either, in the Andalucian derby). Will they be tired from Sunday? Will we be complacent? A bigger question is whether Betis’ drought has come from bad luck or ineptitude? Anyone who watched them on Sunday knows that they can generate chances. It’s just that last touch that is eluding them. Let’s hope it continues to elude them for at least one more match.

Dunno. What we do know is that these boys can sure as I’m pecking away here park a bus in front of goal, which is sort of like Kryptonite for us.

But we have some stuff working in our favor. Most notably, the lads are loose as a goose, even deciding to have a rousing game of semi-nude grabass during the oficial TV broadcast the other day.

Also, Henry is back in the side, allowing Guardiola to take advantage of his pace in the middle with Eto’o, and the sudden width that has come from the side’s newest captain, one Andres Iniesta, or as we know him, SPF 45. The long knives are out in the Catalan media, including a cartoon that features Guardiola asking Henry “Are you sure you’re fine? Are you sure?”

Know that if we bring him back and jam him on the left wing again, we’re just as stupid as much of the Catalan media.

Now. As Guardiola himself said of this match, “We ain’t gonna be scoring no damn six goals, I’ll tell you that much.” Only he said it in Catalan, so it sounded all pretty and stuff. Here’s the squad he’ll be calling on to score at least one goal against Betis which, given their offensive might, should be more than enough to win.

Valdes, Pinto, Alves, Marquez, Pique, Puyol, Caceres, Abidal, Yaya, Keita, Busquets, Xavi, Iniesta, Gudjohnsen, Eto’o, Henry, Messi, Krkic

Everybody, repeat after me: Dayyyummm!

Exactly. That’s one hell of a squad, one that absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it, bet mama’s house on it, HAS to protect against the counter. Gonzalez will be playing high and tight, daring the back line to move too far forward. He got in behind the Sevilla defense on a number of occasions on Sunday past. They will also miss Edu, but Pavone has done damage. If the Sevilla match is any indication, the Betis attacking balls will be long and high, so our collective minds all say the same thing, right?

Looks like a job for Pique.

Here’s how I (hopefully) see the starting XI: Valdes, Alves, Pique, Puyol, Abidal, Keita, Iniesta, Xavi, Henry, Eto’o, Messi.

I call this the “Get in that ass early” lineup, that will apply lots of pressure right away. If SPF 45 has the match he’s had the last two times out, fuhgeddaboudit. It will be a win. Not going away, because Betis is just too resolute for that. And given the pace of Odonkor and our occasionally lax covering in back, I don’t expect to get out unscathed.

My fearless prediction: 2-1 good guys, with goals from Henry and Eto’o.