Preview: Eto’o vs Depor; Saturday 3pm GolTV

By: Isaiah | May 30th, 2009

So here it is, your final preview of the 2008/09 season. And no, it won’t be gloriously long and stats-laden. Instead, it’ll be about Samuel Eto’o. He is on the war path, as we saw on Wednesday and his sights are set securely on Diego Martín Forlán Corazo. You may have heard of him. Depor sure has and they’re probably really pissed at him because Eto’o might be able to convince Guardiola to give him a solid supporting cast rather than a disjointed B team to try and win both the pichichi for Eto’o personally and break the record for most goals scored in a season (107, Barça has 104).

We know that Messi, Alves, and Milito are the only first teamers not traveling to A Coruña, though it’s unclear who will be chosen for the first team, even just 5 hours before the game. It seems unlikely that we’ll have many regular first teamers out there because of both their most recent game (which you may have heard something about) as well as their vicious hangovers from partying until the wee hours of the night for like 8 straight nights or however long it’s been now.

But Eto’o will be out there, trying to prove a point (and hoping for a bit of help from Almeria’s defense to keep Forlan from scoring more) that he should be pichichi and be the one to get our 108th goal, to make this season, which is already magical enough, just that much more magical.

So let’s do that. Let’s get him the pichichi against a team that is playing for European play. If they win, Depor is in the Europa Cup/whatever the crap it’s called. So they’ll be going all out and we’ll have to take them apart for that. I think we can do it, but it depends what kind of a game we play. I assume we’ll see a mostly B team out there with the following lineup:

Oier/Pinto, Caceres, Botia, Pique, Abidal, Xavi Torres, Guddy, Hleb, Bojan, Eto’o, Pedro!

If we’re going all out for this pichichi/goals record, we’ll start the following:

Oier/Pinto, Caceres, Puyol, Pique, Abidal, The Yaya, Keita, Hleb, Bojan, Eto’o, Pedro!

Yeah, that’s right, I’ve got Hleb out there no matter what, as well as Pique. Without Muniesa (suspended) and Marquez (injured), we’re going to have to start at least one regular CB unless we want to start a back line of VicSan, Caceres, Botia, Abidal (or unless Abidal plays CB, in which case I don’t even know what the hell to do since Sylvinho shouldn’t have to play after taking part in the CL final and being 56 years old).

Anyway, Official Prediction: 0-4 Barcelona wins going away, gets the goal record, Eto’o scores a hat trick for the Pichichi, Pedro! gets a goal, and we all go home happy. Except Hleb, who disappears for long stretches.