Gnus you all can use, including Brazilians and Frenchmen

By: Kevin | April 25th, 2008

Guess who’s coming to dinner at Old Trafford?

Yes, lads and ladettes, it’s already been announced: Thierry Henry will be getting the start at Old Trafford next Tuesday, because of his fine legacy of bedeviling the Red Devils. Woot! No word on the rest of the starting lineup, but I’m already excited.

Our Capitan is also back from suspension, so we should be ready to put the stonk down.

There’s news galore, including a mightily vexed Laporta after his laptop was stolen. The thief was caught on camera, and no word as to whether it’s the same folks who burglarized Rijkaard’s house while he was home. Word is that some super-secret stuff was on there, including his carefully acquired collection of “yo mama” jokes in Catalan.

Bastards!

Mallorca striker Dani Guiza is on our radar these days, probably with an eye toward making us no longer headless in front of goal. Every team would like height on their front line, and we’re no exception. That image of Xavi and Rio Ferdinand looked like a player with one of the ball boys. Very preliminary right now, and the bidding for that lad could get silly. 21 goals in 31 games is nothing to sneeze at.

Elsewhere, Galliani says that at our asking price, Ronaldinho is too expensive and will not be coming to Milan. Yeah. Right. We’ll almost certainly see he and Zambrotta on the same plane to Italy.

In a cute little interview that’s being excerpted all over the place, that same Wascally Bwazilian says that he used to play footie with a neighborhood dog. Cynics would say that explains his laying down on the job, but you people just knock it off.

“For a dog, he was good. He could keep hold of the ball, but he didn’t know the rules because he was a dog. He was the best dog in the area, though. He had a very good right foot.”

Everyone, repeat after me: Awwwww!

Anybody know who Miroslav Pjanic is? I sure don’t, but the Bosnian mid, raising cain over at Metz in Ligue Un, is purportedly another target of ours. We’ve already made an offer, say Bosnian press reports, but word is that the kid (18 years old), like Benzema, might want to stay put and hone his skills for a bit, whilst also raising his price.

Finally, in this staggering bit of news, Manchester United dude Owen Hargreaves says that his side was content with a draw. As if playing 10 men plus a bus behind the ball wasn’t our first clue. I’m reeling with this disclosure.