Barca 6, Malaga 0, a.k.a. “So how was your Saturday?”

By: Kevin | March 29th, 2009

I spent mine taking apart the lenses on my high-def projection set for a thorough cleaning, then watching the Malaga match twice, the first time because I couldn’t believe how easy it seemed, and the second time marveling at how easy it was. The grins on Henry’s and Eto’o faces say it all, folks. This was a walk in the park made even easier by the fact that once again, we had a side come into the Camp Nou and not really know what to do. If you sit back and play defense, we’re gonna get’cha. If you come out and play, we gonna get’cha. If you stay on the damned bus and say “We’re not coming out,” we’re still gonna get’cha….

Because that’s just how we roll.

In many ways, this match was decided when Malaga decided to sit back and play on the counter, because that meant giving us all of the possession. And as even a cock-eyed fool knows, the more we have the ball, the more doomed you are because not only are we going to score, but we’re going to keep the ball, so forget about your puny counterattacking notions.

And so it was. We shouldn’t forget however, that this was the 6th-placed side in the Liga coming in, who were fresh off a 2-2 draw with Sevilla. This is a good team, people, and we destroyed them. Spanked them, gave them a bottle marked “6 goals fo yo’ ass,” and sent them home.

The lineup was pretty easy to suss out, given that Pique was ill: Valdes, Alves, Marquez, Caceres, Sylvinho, Yaya, Iniesta, Xavi, Messi, Henry, Eto’o.

And given that lineup, Malaga’s style of play was even more unfathomable, given that the only real way to have a chance against us is to do what we do, which is to pressure the ball constantly, or turn the match into a knife fight, Plummeting Periquitos style.

They didn’t and so it was inevitable, the inexorable buildup that led to an inevitable goal, as Eto’o smacked a pass to Xavi, who pulled off a Messi-esque run and finish, and it was game over. Why? Because Malaga had no answer. We had all the possession, the defense and midfield were compressing the pitch and we fought for every ball when we lost possession as if somebody had said something about our mamas.

The result was pure aggression, from Messi charging into the box so fast that the defense has no real options to Yaya cutting off passing lanes or just scaring Malaga players into giving up the ball, as they continued to play like pylons placed in patterns during a Barca practice session. And our beautiful play continued, in a manner so lovely that the ref didn’t have the heart to call Henry offside for a perfectly worked goal.

But he was. Man, was he. Still, it was 2-0 and the only real question left was whether Malaga would find some spine and make a match of it, or roll over and take their hiding.

They chose the latter, so the only real question was how many. Our play was easy as could be, Valdes had a great seat for the show. The only flaws were some roughness in play on the back line, particularly from Marquez, that might have cost us against a team more willing to try to play with us. More goals were definitely in the cards. That the third goal would come from what was essentially a play so absurd that it left Guardiola gawking in stupefaction, was quite the surprise.

But when Messi chested the ball to his feet, took off on a dead run at an array of Malaga defenders, shrugged off a couple of fouls, controlled and blasted into the top near corner, I confess that I didn’t really know what to say. Having watched the goal again, I still don’t.

And we all know the rest. Eto’o got a smoker off a killer setup, going between the legs of Malaga’s hapless keeper. And he got another one later, off a casual side-footed pass from Henry.

But in between them was, for me, the goal of the season so far, one that began with Messi deciding that once again, he wasn’t going to let a ball go out of bounds or to the defense, playing as if it were 0-0 instead of 4-0. So he went and got the ball, kicking off a sequence that led to Iniesta dropping a ball in the perfect spot for Alves, who had one option: a crazy-ass, only-from-a-Brazilian lofted header that beat the keeper and sparked a little samba.

The joy present after that goal was team-wide, and genuine as could be. (No, this might not be the exact picture. But it’s still from Malaga, and the team is still showing lots of joy. So bite me.)

And this made sense, because it was about as beautiful a goal as could be, from Iniesta’s laser beam of a pass to Alves’ boldness in making the play.

The unfortunate part of it all was that as players went off due to rest, or injuries, we took our foot off the accelerator, giving Malaga a chance to play and a real chance at an honor goal. It was only the quick work of Valdes that kept the clean sheet.

And now, with 10 matches left, including the 4-match difficult stretch, we have a 6-point gap at the top of the table. We all wish it were more, but that’s life. We play them as they come. But the clunky spell seems to have ended, which means that we are, once again, the best team in the world. So we win out the season, take the Liga crown, probably nab the Copa, and see what happens in Europe.

Ain’t life grand?

Team: 10. This was an extravagant team performance from a team that allowed them their head. Layered defense, tenacious ball pressure and passes galore were its hallmarks. A collective Man of the Match for the group.

Guardiola: 10. This could have been a dangerous match as the lads looked forward to Bayern and Internationals. But their focus was strong and intensity high. Great coaching job. His subs were a little weird, but necessary given the players who had to come off.

Valdes: 7. This is a tough one, because he didn’t have to do anything for the bulk of the match, only being called upon three times. But all three times were excellent, particularly that side-lunging reflex save. His confidence is back, just in time.

Alves: 9. This was a complete match, all offense and defense from our little right back. He loses a point for being part of that defensive lapse toward the end of the match, as will all of the back liners.

Marquez: 6. The Kaiser had more than a few moments of The Funk, including one clearance directly to a Malaga player. His long passing wasn’t as concise as it customarily is, also.

Caceres: 7. This was the perfect match for Hai Karate to get some quality time, against a side that wasn’t a real offensive threat. But the plays that he had to make, he did, including an excellent tackle to prevent a great chance for Malaga.

Sylvinho: 9. Yes, he had the benefit of not being tested by Malaga’s most dangerous attacker, but give him credit for sensing that and become a left-sided Alves. When folks slag Abidal for not being sufficiently adventurous on offense, this Sylvinho performance demonstrates what they’re talking about.

Yaya: incomplete. But he was well on his way to a 10, folks, before being forced off by an injury. He plays so high up the pitch, covering ground surprisingly well and altering Malaga’s offensive flow in a way that made possession for us facile, in a part of the pitch that made the scoring easy. The shorter the distance to the other team’s box, the less things can go wrong during an attack.

Iniesta: 10. Lordy, what a match from Casper. Xavi looked lost when he went off, for good reason. Having that brilliant mirror image just to your left makes life easier, because the ball doesn’t go over and just stop. Great passing, excellent movement and what is there to say about the assist on the Alves goal.

Xavi: 10. As good as Iniesta was, Xavi was just a bit better. I watched him quite a lot, trying to figure out how he manages to avoid contact all the time. It’s an amazing skill, as is his ability to keep the ball, no matter what. It’s hard not to love watching our Maestro do his thing.

Messi: 9. He was a little selfish early, but got over it to become an unplayable little fiend. He’s like a brat who understands that the earlier the tantrum starts, the more difficult it is for the parents to deal with it. So they just shrug their shoulders and give in, as do defenses when they see Messi running at them, full tilt boogie, with the ball attached to his feet. He’s already in the box so you can’t foul him, so now what?

Eto’o: 9. I loved this Eto’o today. It was clear that he was going to be on from the first touch, which was controlled, confident and absolute. He was passing like crazy, and subordinating his wishes to the team’s, even though he so wanted to score. He even continued his strong play from the wing, as he and Henry hopped around on the pitch. Got a little lost and funky late, though.

Henry: 6. Watching this match via La Sexta web feed, I was convinced that Henry had a better match than he did. But he was invisible or ineffective for long stretches. There were a few moments of brilliance, but he seemed to take a lot of this match off.

Substitutes

Keita (for The Yaya): 7. Likewise with Keita, I was snarking about how Malaga was having more possession when he came in, etc, etc. But just because he plays differently than Yaya doesn’t make him ineffective. His was a very solid role-playing part that maintained the solidity of the back line, just farther back on the pitch. Plus he earns points for getting whacked upside the head.

Gudjohnsen (for Iniesta): 5. One of those “little Monument lost” matches, in which he seems to get to every spot just after the ball is gone. He works hard and gives it up for the team, which is always admirable. Hats off for letting the Malaga player have it for that silly “I’m dead! I’m dead!” routine.

Krkic (for Xavi): 7. This was an odd one that sort of worked out because of The Kid’s work rate and indefatigability. He just runs and passes and runs and passes and runs and passes and….

And yes, this is late. It’s a stinkin’ week after the match. So what. Suck it up. It comes when there isn’t a match day, so think of it as our little gift to you all, to break up the time between the Internationals and the next match, against Valladolid. That’s an away match, against a 9th place side that isn’t going to roll over. It could be dangerous, particularly in light of looking forward to the Wedesday home leg against Bayern. T’will be critical to put Valladolid to the sword early with a couple of goals to shake the confidence.

Rock.