Big Deals, donuts and other craziness

By: Kevin | July 18th, 2009

Random bits n’ nits:

Watched Fox Soccer Report last night, and as part of the cable footy program’s report on the Barca/Inter deal, they quoted a club official to the effect of if the deal doesn’t happen, Eto’o would be a “big part” of the club’s plans this season.

As Spider-Man had his Spidey Sense, Baby Kxevin has his Bullshit Sense, and it’s tingling with such fervor that I have to sit down for a minute.

Why?

How could the club’s plans possibly be any bigger than last year, when everybody and their mamas were feeding him balls? Does that mean that he also becomes the pilot for the team jet and will design the travel suits? Comments such as that only make sense if they are considered to be verbal blandshments toward a striker who needs to feel loved, so that he can make a decision that will help the deal go through.

EMD is believing that Eto’o is going to mess this thing up by demanding a key to the city, naming rights to the San Siro and about 485 million Euros per season.

I’m not that kind of a pessimist. Eto’o gets a great squad, a great coach and a side that is still the championship favorite and a Champions League contender. More importantly, he gets to be The Man, which will make him very happy. If the Laporta comments are to be believed, it isn’t about the money for Eto’o.

Hleb’s approval is the easy part of that deal. If he says no, we stuff him in a sack and send him to Milan.

–Which brings me to my next bit, and Baby Kxevin as the voice of reason here, in suggesting that this deal could leave us worse off. If this was indeed going to be Hleb’s year, the one in which he provided effective cover and rest for our midfield dudes, his departure would seem to leave a hole that is going to need filling.

Even if the omnipresent Poulsen rumors should come to fruition, we will still need cover for Xavi and Iniesta. Xavi didn’t show the effects of playing almost every match for the club, except in a run of funky play. I believe that Iniesta showed the effects of the heavy minutes in his tendency to get injured. And we’ve all seen the Ghostface frolicking images. He hasn’t been hitting the gym in the off-season.

So unless we are one wrong foot-plant away from being a side with a hole in the middle, we need a midfielder, and I don’t mean tomorrow. Could something magical happen with one of the kids who will be brought along on the London tour? Possible, but doubtful. Then again, who among us foresaw Busquets last season?

–Now, the Big Deal could be double-dog good for us. Sport is saying that Inter will use some of the proceeds from our transaction to buy Xabi Alonso from under the flared nostrils of the EE, as they will be able to meet his extravagant valuation, something the EE can’t do because they ain’t got no dough right now, pending the Great Dutch Fire Sale.

–Finally, Villa has said to Llorente, “I’m staying.” Now. Does that mean if Laporta came calling with a suitcase full of 50m Euros that he wouldn’t say “Whoops! I meant staying in the departure lounge, waiting for that flight to Barcelona.” Dunno. But there will be a joint press conference next week, in which Villa will almost certainly say that he was doing it to help the club that he loves so much, and that has done so much for him, and that is STILL some 500m in debt.