FC Barcelona vs. Real Madrid Preview Part I: The Art of Stretching Two Hours of Football Into a Whole Week.

By: Pedro | November 26th, 2009

So, here we are at that time of the year where one single event tends to consume everything, from thought to printing paper to money and especially fingernails. It takes a long time and a lot of friction to cultivate such an atmosphere that paralyzes millions without fail twice a season.

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Then again, a quick rummage through the history books and it’s easy to see why a singular two hour event has now become the epicenter of the footballing world.

It’s been some 80 years since the first encounter between FC Barcelona and Real Madrid. For most, 80 years is a generous lifetime but for both clubs, the first 80 years has seen more than enough schadenfreude and controversy to last a couple of lifetimes.

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Things weren’t all spit and vinegar back then.

No doubt, if you’re methodical enough you too can spend the rest of your lifetime rummaging through the annuls of history. Start at the general socio-cultural and political variances between the Castile and Catalonia regions, before inevitably attempting to untangle the bits and pieces of The Spanish Civil War, and then fighting off dirty, sharp paper-cut prone book edges about Franco’s reign. Luckily, the last several decades of animosity have been more about the ball to foot aspect – though even that is a precarious statement.

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9 points for spotting the most important man in this picture.

But what isn’t to be contested is how this old and hardened battle between what is more than two footballing clubs has become a modern day festival of interactive multimedia, soundbites and fodder all incrementally increasing the potential energy like a roller coaster making its way up that first big hump before it all goes downhill come Sunday.

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Printing paper. Digitalized. Eat your heart out, Gutenberg.

Predictably, the wave of radio, television and the internet have grasped onto this event with a cold kung-fu grip. Former players and coaches have been harangued and pestered by marauding reporters. They’ve been picked up off the ground and shaken until each and every last sound bite has been extracted.

Most are wise to this process and offer only the most casual and neutral of comments. The usual ho-hum about the spectacle of the match. From Lineker, Hagi, Netzer and Redondo to the more recent ex-participants such as Sneijder, and Sylvinho. You’re liable to find that they all say the same appreciative message about the match, just in slightly different words – well, except for Hristo Stoichkov, no prizes for guessing his choice of words.

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Apparently Hristo isn’t the only one.

Everyone seems content salivating in anticipation of what is to come and when you’re too busy anticipating, you’re usually too busy day dreaming about the positive possibilities, albeit in an anxiously nervous disposition. In fact, these days, the only visible frown around Barcelona was that of Inter-Milan president Massimo Moratti; A man who seemed to be clouded in thoughts of disappointment about his team, and about his new adopted golden son, Jose Mourinho. Massimo, it seems, his having second thoughts about his Mourinho-led Champions’ League crusade and I think I just heard Roberto Mancini quietly chuckle far, far away.

But I digress, because Mr. Moratti is already back in Italy. And despite that frown, I’m sure he cannot get enough Barcelona action. So after reading all the quotes and interviews between the various representatives of Barcelona and Real Madrid, he’ll likely be pestered by Moratti Jr – or by this time, grandson Moratti – about how he had just finished simulating the grand ol’ match on FIFA 10 just like what Xavi and Benzema did. Though, it seems our cerebral Xavi is anything but in the virtual world, succumbing to a three-nill loss at the hands of Karim Benzema.

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Note to self: Next time don’t use Massimo Moratti as a tangent, makes finding a related picture a bit harder than usual. This one will have to do – sans pig’s head.

Though I’m sure Mr. Moratti will quickly dismiss this video game nonsense, telling little grandson Moratti to bugger off because grandfather is busy with trivial pursuits at Marca.com. As one of the few people In the world fortunate enough to actually play real life Football Manager, Moratti has taken interest in Marca’s little multimedia piece that allows you to build your own Floren or Pep team. Here, Moratti will spend a few minutes comparing the value of his two built squads, as well as the average age, height and weight. He’ll likely write the multi-million euro value number down for future negotiating reference later on before settling down for a few hours of Football Manager 2010, continuing his saved game titled ‘AD Alcorcón’.

Current Alcorcón manager Juan Antonio Anquela probably won’t be too pleased to find out that he’s been virtually ousted by Mr.Moratti, just like he wasn’t too pleased when he couldn’t find any Marca multimedia program allowing you to build your own Alcorcón team to compare value, and vital statistics. A shame, and if he isn’t too busy this weekend fighting off wild dogs in Segunda Division B action, I’m sure you can find him in one of 51 cinemas across Spain that will be showing the match live on Sunday. That is, if he has got his ticket because all the venues have already sold out like the Camp Nou.

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FC Barcelona vs Real Madrid, The Movie. Well, it can’t do any worse than Real Madrid: The Movie, can it?

Yes, it’s a bit odd how all this radio, television and internet have placed an already tremendous match on stilts. Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey circus has nothing on this multi-hundred million euro feast of hot air, speculation and technology. Somewhere in there happens to be ninety minutes of football. But that’s just a bit of continuity, because the real match started a choice 80 years ago and likely won’t end in our lifetime.

Stay tuned for Part Two of the Barcelona vs. Real Madrid preview where Joan takes us away from the speculative hot air and into the locker room for a final look at line ups and tactics. Till then, I’m sure there are a plethora of other fluff pieces to keep the saliva juices flowing. Just don’t drool, now.

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