Preview: Barca v Valladolid, or “It’s go time, yo!” (12 p.m. ET, GolTV)

By: Isaiah | March 21st, 2008

Spare some love for me, up here amid the winter wonderland that is Highland Park, Illinois. 11 inches of snow, kids, on the second day of spring. Yum! On the up side, I have all-wheel-drive and snow tires on my car. On the down side, nobody else seems to. Go figure. Slideways is goodways.

Anyhow….

It’s Kevin again, in the house for the March Madnessed Isaiah, who’s been popping in from time to time, as promised, but mostly leaving you all to my nefarious hands. And it’s a tricky weekend for everyone involved in the title race. We have a 17th-placed but surprisingly plucky (everyone is against us….the top sides bring out the best) Valladolid. Villarreal get 20th-placed Levante in what should be a spankfest for them, the Evil Empire get a probably-going-to-crash-after-the-euphoria-of-eliminating-us-from-the-Copa-ass Valencia, and I get a prize for the world’s longest compound modifier. Us and them are at home, Villarreal is on the road.

I don’t look for anything to change, standings-wise, after this weekend. Everyone should win.

Meanwhile….

We are oh for our last four in the league, and a lot closer to third place than first, facts that are mightily vexing. But I’m all about the positivity. How can we argue with Yaya, who said “I will keep going for as long as my body will let me.”

THAT’S what I’m talking about. Man up. If that isn’t inspirational, I don’t know what is. And pssst, we gained access to the super-secret French-Catalan-English translator, and what he actually said was “Hell yeah, I’ll take the needle to play. My injured ass is still about 14 times better than any other defensive mid we have. Edmilson? Dude. Stop. It makes my back hurt to laugh. You’re killing a brotha. Ow!”

Or some such.

Looks like the end of April for a Messi return, according to physios in Argentina, so that’s good news. He’s slightly ahead of schedule, it seems, and plans to round off his fitness by running back to Barcelona. Gudjohnsen and Valdes practiced away from the rest of the lads, the former with a stomach injury, the latter off having rib removal surgery so that his waist can move even higher, facilitating his wearing his match trunks just below his nipples. Should be rockin’.

Normal training for the lads, and while we don’t know who will be in the squad for Sunday’s match, we should all shed a tear for Oleguer, who has hurt his hand again. Seems the vending machines at the Nou Camp are as balky as ever, and still as resistant to being bashed in frustration…. “Doni’m els meus xips,” he was heard to exclaim in a rage before skulking away, chip-less, holding his hand.

In other news, Txiki is silent about Rijkaard and his future with the club, and went about the post-Valencia task of making the lads omelettes, Catalan-style, on his steaming forehead.

Laporta says that we “lost with dignity,” which, as any athlete will tell you, is like a tie….scant consolation. But he’s all about the positivity, too, and you know what? He’s right. We played our butts off in that second half, and were thisclose close to forcing extra time, where I’m sure we would have romped.

And we’re still on for the double. Ronaldinho traveled with the team to Valencia and wanted to play, so we’ll see about Sunday. It’s fully expected that he’ll be in the side, and if he isn’t, his bags had better be packed, because it will be symbolic of a rift that is probably unmendable. So he’ll be there, because Isaiah used such a pretty picture of him to accompany our fondest birthday wishes, and I will begin referring to myself in the third person, as he does, in homage.

We have a lot of folks on the traning table, and some might or might not be back, including Marquez and Deco. But Kevin knows which starting XI Kevin would like to see:

Valdes, Puyol, Thuram (Milito needs a break, I think), Zambrotta, Abidal, Yaya, Iniesta, Krkic, Henry, Eto’o, Ronaldinho.

Yes, that’s right….the evil 4-2-4. It means sacrificing Iniesta’s attacking brilliance for a more defensive role just in front of Yaya, but the way Krkic and Henry have been tracking back on defence, it’s safe. It was glorious for a while previously, until Milito had the bad manners to get himself red carded. Kevin thinks Rijkaard has been thinking on that one ever since, and who better to try it against than Valladolid, who are quaking in their lace-ups as they buy Barca scarves at the FC Barcelona Megastore.

Hope the bits of mirth helped, everyone. Let’s keep the faith. Now. There’s a snow shovel with Kevin’s name on it.