Review: Barcelona’s lethargy, Mallorca’s misfortune, and how Ibrahimovic is “Il Magnifico”

By: Joan | November 8th, 2009

A solitary flag, claret and blue, stands where two lines meet. When it comes to Barcelona, a few keywords are in constant rotation: possession, eminence, Lionel Messi, brilliant, short (and yet the likes of Piqué, Chygrynskiy, Touré, Busquets, and Ibrahimovic tower over most), tiki-taka, Real Madrid, set-pieces (I can’t include any sort of formatting that would denote anxiety), and probably pornography. It is sometimes obscene to the stragglers how well Barcelona can play football.

And, at other times, it’s sometimes just as obscene how poorly they can play, considering.

Not that Barcelona played poorly last night against Mallorca, no. Rather, they played as if caught in the scaly grips of apathetic torpor. Barcelona controlled possession, but didn’t create much of it. Mallorca threatened throughout, and indeed managed to twice usurp the rights of Valdés to keep his sheets as clean as Mother Theresa’s. I would be disregarding the causation of this blog post’s oddly damning vibe if I weren’t to extrapolate on a few of the issues I have with Barcelona at the moment.

This set-piece malarkey, time and time again, is an irritant. There are many who learn from their mistakes, and Barcelona have in recent times done exactly that. But to concede sloppily at corners is something few professional football sides can excuse. There is no “But they’re so short!” reasoning to fall back upon this season; the players are static positionally, giving opponents all the impetus they need.

Often times the watchers of this side are quick to lambaste Valdés for his short-comings: sometimes he flaps at corners, occasionally he turkeys his clearances, and he has that arrogant air about him that people seem to despise. But he usually plays well for somebody who isn’t tested often. Not enough do we lambaste these players that leave him high and dry on set-pieces. Is there a remedy to this? Only training; repetition and situational practises ingrain a sense of movement in the squad and with Guardiola exponentially improving Barcelona’s threat at set-pieces, so should the side become stalwarts in defending them.

Cultural Leonesa, I believe, first gave us a glimpse of a fresh trident: the three musketeers of holding midfield. Touré, Busquets, and Keita began the match against Mallorca. This is one of few threesomes I’m not fond of. Not that the players aren’t talented individually – they are – but that the side suffers without a man versed in the art of distribution, of fluidity in movement and availability. We all enjoy seeing Touré in his forays forward and Keita with his surges into the area. Sometimes, we even forgive Busquets for his giving the ball away so often when he skeddadles around defenders with those spindly legs and draws petulant fouls from grown men.

But they are peripheral, complimentary in their qualities to the benefit of the side and lacking when deployed sans a Xavi, or an Iniesta. Am I being overly critical here, or are others like-minded? Do you enjoy the defensive trident, punctual in their occasional predictability (Keita) and infrequent indolence (Busquets)?

Chygrynskiy, given his early impressions, has been somewhat flat lately. I believe it is mostly a matter of time before the Ukrainian cements that starting position (and a happy birthday to him, by the by), with Marquez begging questions over the necessity of his recent contract renewal.

But now, faithful readers, this is not a deathly signal that the masses should start crying afoul of their esteemed club. With Barcelona (and The Smiths), there is a light that never goes out.

I have a friend, let’s call him A, and he dislikes Pedro. He doesn’t think he’s that good. To be fair, he’s probably right. Pedro has, however, been a stellar impact player, notching goals in five competitions this season. He padded that tally with two efforts against Mallorca, one composed and the other fortunate. The commentator said, “Pedro looks disappointed to be taken off,” with Messi waiting to enter, and I’m slightly ashamed to admit that I was also a little unhappy to see the lad leave the pitch. His efforts definitely deserve a mention.

Ibrahimovic il Magnifico. The man has a knack for inducing wonderment. Not only for his back-heel assist to Pedro on the opening goal, but for his general play. He has that physical ferocity around the area, winning these low-percentage passes and controlling with ease, but along with that he brings the rest of the stadium into the game. You can feel the Camp Nou lick their lips whenever the colossally talented Ibrahimovic is involved. It reminds me of the awe that was once afforded to a certain buck-toothed bloke. I feel Barcelona aren’t using him enough. My appetite for the Swede’s football has yet to be whet, and if he continues along (whilst adding a few more goals), I doubt it ever will be.

The maligned two – Messi and Henry – finally get themselves on the sheets for all the right reasons again. Thierry’s impassioned kick-the-goalpost celebration only emphasised his frustrations, both with injury and his lack of tangible output. The Argentine, although notching from the penalty spot, was brought on early (early, early!) in the second half and we can only hope this will do something for his confidence.

And Barcelona’s confidence, too.