La Liga Review: UD Almería 0, FC Barcelona 8, Or, Just Like The Good Old Days…

… and by good old days I mean, of course, the 25th of October 1959, when Barça established La Liga’s record for biggest away win against Las Palmas, with 8 goals. Of course, I could also mean the good old days in which we went to half-time with a handful of goals in our favour and in full control of the match, which are just a couple of seasons distant and some of us actually have a chance to remember.

What can I say? I mean, look at the scoreline!

Look at it... any questions?

So, what happened to bring us such a delightful goalfest, only slightly marred by the guilt of knowing that Almería’s coach, Juanma Lillo, would be dismissed not an hour after the match?

Barça arrived at Almería with the need to win in view of Monday’s match, but also surrounded by unfavourable omens: we’d only won 5 of the last 18 matches played after international break and Almería was the third team, after Barça and Real Madrid, that had recieved the least goals in La Liga so far (10).

To prepare the team for this sortie, Pep had to juggle various factors: Piqué was one yellow card away from suspension, which would mean he could miss El Clásico; his back-up, Milito, was injured; Milito’s back-up, Abidal, was also injured; the Spain, Brazil and Argentina internationals had all played on Wednesday; and we have to play a mid-week match against the rocky Panathinaikos.

In the end, Pep went for VV, Alves, Puyol, Fontàs (after considering and rejecting Pedro’s idea of stuffing Piqué in a giant referee-repelling hamster ball), Maxwell, Mascherano, Xavi, Iniesta, Pedrito, Messi and Villa. Piqué was safe from yellow-card-wielding refs (and the ball was safe from his wandering hands), Busquets was rested, everyone else just had to suck it up.

Playing that tall guy on the left was a particularly good idea...

Lillo’s Almeria, on the other hand, went out with Diego Alves (who carried around a small medal of the Virgin Mary to help him, poor man), Michel, C. García, Acasiete, J. Ortiz, Vargas, Bernardello, Mbami, Corona, Piatti, and Goitom.

The game started out in a lively manner, with Diego Alves making his first save after only 2 minutes, for a Villa who wasn’t offsides; this, of course, was only an omen of the many strange and wonderful things to come, like Messi’s first goal, after only 17 minutes into the match (a one-two with Villa), or Iniesta’s reply, not one minute later (half defensive mistake, half proof that Don Andrés is actually shooting on goal these days).

Just like that, we were 0-2 up.

We didn't celebrate, we were too busy going 'awwww' as Iniesta dedicated the goal to his pregnant girlfriend...

Almería looked… well, they looked like Barça usually looks early in the first half: not quite awake. And then they looked miserable when defender Acasiete pulled a Piqué and scored an own-goal in his attempt to clear a Maxwell cross into the box (which was a product of his growing understanding with Villa).

0-3, without even trying. Of course, just in case anyone was getting comfortable and giving the match as good as won with only 30 minutes played, we had Arsenal’s earlier reminder that a comfortable goal advantage in the first half could still lead to a loss.

I think Pep might have made the team watch Arsenal vs Spurs, because, unlike what’s happened in any of the previous occasions in which Barça has pulled ahead, this time they didn’t just sit back and wait for the rivals to snatch back a goal and start putting a fight. Pedrito was the next to get on the scoresheet, after an AMAZING Fontàs pass from well behind the half-way line that our Roadrunner caught and converted.

And one minute later (why is it our goals came in pairs last night?), Messi decided that he’d given everyone else enough of the spotlight, and scored on the rebound, after a Pedrito cross, to mark his 100th Liga goal at the tender age of 23.

36 minutes into the match, we were 5 goals up. An Almería remuntada looked unlikely, to say the least, so we were contented to take this result into the half-time.

It was not a good day to be Diego Alves...

So far, Villa hadn’t been offsides once, we hadn’t forgotten how to attack after the first goal, and even Iniesta was shooting on goal, but the evening still had more wonders to amaze us: in a fit of sanity the likes of which I don’t remember seeing in him, Pep decided to make early subs. Our fragile pair of Midfield Magicians were subbed out for the solid Keita and the creative Thiago Alcántara, who at last got some minutes.

The second half started somewhat subdued, as our new midfield got used to the field and Almería wondered if the nightmare was over, but after Thiago got a yellow card out of his system and Pedrito was subbed out for Bojan (another Spain international rested), things started moving along nicely again. VV put his bumblebee costume to the test after a nice shot by Piatti, and just to prove that a) Almería’s suffering had not yet come to an end, and b) we were solidly into the Twilight Zone, Bojan scored. And it wasn’t even a dud of a goal, like against Ceuta, but a rather decent showing of how to shrug off two defenders in the box and still have the cold-blood to bounce the ball over a rushing (albeit, rather depressed) goalkeeper.

Bojan and the only man able to make him score, it seems...

Then Messi, never one to shy away from a hat-trick, got his third on the rebound from a Villa shot that Diego Alves must have been congratulating himself on having stopped. Lillo’s face, after this goal, was the pure image of disgust and disappointment, poor guy.

And then, just to cap the evening, Bojan scored again, finishing nicely after a Messi assist.

72 minutes in, Barça was 0-8 up and it just seemed kind of unnecessary to go on. Barça still tried lazily for a ninth, but I think pity on Diego Alves and Lillo stopped them, and the game petered out like that.

0-8. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Now, for a bit of subjective grading…

Valdés: 8. The one time he had to make a save, against Piatti, he did it, and he weathered with dignity the pain of having to wear a bright yellow bumblebee costume masquerading as his second kit.

Alves: 8. Since Almería didn’t require him to defend at all, he went wild with the running and the wild crossing and the trying to find Messi.

Puyol: 8. Our captain, though he couldn’t be rested, didn’t have much to do after all, and what he did, he did well.

Fontás: 9. Very good showing by our young canterano; calm and collected in defence (though, admittedly, he didn’t have much defending to do), he made runs into the midfield eerily reminiscent of Piqué’s, and his assist to Pedrito was excellent.

Maxwell: 8,5. Again, with nothing in the way of defending to do, he involved himself heavily in the attack, linking well with Villa and hey, he gets half a point because he created Acasiete’s own goal.

Mascherano: 8. Yes, I didn’t mention him, but he was there. He was there, being quiet, not getting carded, and keeping the midfield in order so everyone else could go on ahead and score. What more could we ask of him?

Xavi: 8,5. Maybe he should’ve scored too (why not, everyone was doing it!), but he contented himself with making everything ready for others to score. Back to his good old, fit, self.

Iniesta: 9. Don Andrés has been looking sharp lately, which is wonderful news for us, and he’s getting over his shyness in front of goal, which is bad news for the opposition goalies.

Pedrito: 9. He scored, he assisted, he ran, he was the perfect Roadrunner.

Messi: 9,5. Not only did he get a hat-trick, but he actually got Bojan to score, twice. Miracle man indeed…

Villa: 8,5. Yeah, so he didn’t score. But he did everything else, including setting up goals, assisting, and leaving the Almería defence in even more disarray than they were by themselves. All in all a good game.

Keita: 8. For the second half Almería was rather dispirited, but even so there’s merit in for Keita for keeping the midfield ours.

Thiago: 8. He had his chance to play and impress, and although he didn’t have a performance that will go into the history books, he did more than well, involving himself nicely in the attack.

Bojan: 8,5. The pendulum has swung and now he is on the peak of his confidence, scoring everything that Messi sends his way. Good for him and I hope it will last.

The boys of Barça B weren’t quite so lucky on Friday, when after controlling their match against Recreativo de Huelva for the whole 90 minutes, and being ahead for most of them after a Jonathan Soriano PK, they let former Glasgow loanee Aarón Ñíguez equalise near the end with a great shot (and then get his second yellow for taking his shirt off for the celebration). The good news is that even that one point they salvaged is enough to keep them in the top spots of the Liga Adelante, and that they had a good showing overall (I particularly liked Bartra’s barely missed chance, a fancy shot that doesn’t look like a CB’s).

So, it is full of confidence and goals that we go to Greece for our Wednesday match against Panathinaikos… but tell us, how did you live this record, this historic occasion?

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Category: Barcelona, Barcelona B, Highlights, La Liga, Review, Team News