Welcome Zlatan Ibrahimovic, a.k.a. “Okay, NOW what?”

By: Kevin | July 28th, 2009

First things first: We will never know the real numbers behind this deal. Period. Full stop. Yes, he will make a boatload of money. Yes, he cost a boatload of money. Messi loves the signing, because now he will make even more money, as we make him still the best-paid player on the club.

Which means that the only numbers that are crucial are how many times that big-ass Swede finds the back of the net. During the Eto’o debate, some have said that you could put any good striker in our attack at the point, and watch him bag truckfuls of goals.

Okay. Let’s see it. He’s replacing 30 goals a year, banged in like clockwork. As I’ve said before, statistics can be deceiving, but for most people, it’s still 30 goals. Gone to Inter Milan. Ibrahimovic comes to us, having banged in 29 goals in 46 appearances (in all competitions) with Inter last year.

Now what?

Ibrahimovic said in his press conference (full of all the right things) that he is not here to replace Eto’o. Which effectively ends the debate over whether Ibrahimovic can be Eto’o. No. Just as Eto’o can’t be Ibrahimovic. They are different players.

And I like, whether it’s true or not, that he said to Moratti that we were the only club that he could countenance being sold to. Perfect.

Ibrahimovic speaks (defined as fluent in) Swedish, Bosnian, English and Italian. He’s already started the process of learning Spanish because he knows that, unlike one disgruntledsofarflopofaBelorussian, you have to be able to communicate with your teammates. He is the tallest player on the club, slightly over Piquenbauer and The Yaya, both of whom come in at 6-foot-3.

More numbers. The club says that it places the value of this transfer at 66m, the 46m paid for Ibrahimovic, and the exceedingly generous 20m valuation of Eto’o. And this comes from Joan Boix, financial VP–who should know. That makes Ibrahimovic officially the most expensive transfer for us. Ever.

EE supporters and naysayers will say “That’s what was paid for Kaka, neener, neener.” Yes. It was. But it was our own money. Does that make that 66m seem like 12? Nope. But it does give Laporta some moral high ground upon which he can place his Guccis.

Now, what the heck are we getting for that 66m, besides a pigpile of potential, a bum-rushed Camp Nou field and a hospital bill for a hand operation?

Guardiola, despite what people might want to deny or chatter about, likes him some Total Football. He might call it something else, we might think it’s something else. But as you look at the way that The Yaya moves around, the rumors that he will spend some time at attacking mid, the way that Keita roams, defenders becoming attackers and attackers picking up fouls defending….

Smells like Total Football to me. Paramount to that system are attackers who can play anywhere on the front line, and who can roam. Henry can play wing, center, or playmake in the midfield. Messi can play in the center as a sort-of striker, or on either wing. Iniesta can help Xavi hold and control, or weasel his way into the box.

The last piece of that puzzle is a striker, one who can bring the ball up like a mid, who can rotate to the wing and remain dangerous, who has a deft first touch and excellent ball control, but can also play with his back to goal. Who can, like the other forward line players, bring offensive creativity to the table in terms of passing and shotmaking.

It’s clear why Guardiola wanted Ibrahimovic right from the outset, if you’ve spent any time watching Inter over the last couple of years. Ibrahimovic is that player.

Does that mean that he will be that player for us? No. Not definitively. And that’s the risk. We know that he has excellent movement. He’ll have to learn how to clear out for Messi when necessary, or when to make the considerate pass and get out of somebody’s way. Because he isn’t The Man any more. He’s part of a well-oiled and extremely dangerous machine, one that creates goals and victories.

At Inter, they sent him into the box, then tried to get him the ball. Never mind that he was most effective on the move, that a stationary striker is always easier to defend. Expect him to move with us, because Guardiola wouldn’t have it any other way. Pass and move. Pass and move. His detractors have called him lazy, which is absurd, saying that Eto’o’s work rate won’t be matched by Ibrahimovic.

That’s probably safe, because nobody on the planet can match Eto’o’s work rate. But Ibrahimovic, when required, can out Drogba Drogba. That is, he can set up in the box with his back to goal, take a pass, control it and make some magic, or pass it off to the likes of Messi or Henry, since Ibrahimovic will be double or even triple-teamed. Parked buses could be broken all over the world.

But none of it is going to happen right away, which is why this next picture is, to me, representative of what will be critical to the time Ibrahimovic is plying his trade in the Camp Nou: How he deals with the people. The right impression is crucial. For all of Eto’o’s excellent work with charities and children, a lot of fans had a mistaken impression of him.

Right now, Ibrahimovic is The Man, because he hasn’t done anything yet. But this is also the time when he can pave the way for being given time TO do something. Make nice to everyone, and people are a little more forgiving of those clunky early matches, or missed good chances. So smile with the kids, do and say the right things, and pick up the easy ones, so to speak. He’s a superstar with excellent media handlers, and they understand the value of such things. Good on him, so far.

He isn’t going to start working out immediately. No player ever does in the Barca system, at the attacking end. Will he? He has the skills to. It won’t be until mid-season that we will know for sure. At almost 6-foot-4, he helps defend on set pieces, and the team also acquires a lethal free kick taker.

And boy, does he come with some hoopla. It’s the signing that people love, or love to hate. Some sites are blaring headlines “Ramos rejected Ibrahimovic,” putting up a story that Juande Ramos, during his Sevilla days, was offered Ibra on loan from Ajax and took a pass for unspecified reasons.

That just means that Ramos was, for that day, stupid. It happens. Look at the EE and Eto’o, by way of example. Yes, they had Raul so didn’t really need a striker of Eto’o’s omnivorous qualities, but how can you not take the chance to have him in your side? And so it goes.

It’s a signing that I love. Why? Because if it works, we will win the league and Europe. We could win all six cups we’re contending for this season.

So welcome, Zlatan Ibrahimovic. You have some big shoes to fill, not only the most recent pair, but in context of the legacy of high-quality strikers who have worn the Blaugrana, from Kubala to Kluivert to Ronaldo to Eto’o. Can you do it?

Well that’s why we play the game, isn’t it?

Now get that hand healed, and get busy.